Chapter Eleven

Sean and Emma

"Sean I’m sorry." She sat on the chair and then sobbed in her hands. "No you’re not." "Yes I am." "Just tell me why you did it Emma." Sean wasn’t yelling anymore. He got all of that out of his system. "You and Jay are exactly alike... it’s hard to tell if I love him or you." "What about both of us?" "I think that’s it." Emma got up and walked out the door and Sean walked in front of her "Emma, shouldn’t we talk?" Emma looked up at him with a sad look on her face. "I think we have talked enough Sean.” She walked out the door and went home.

Manny and Emma

Manny was spending the night that night and Emma was eating this whole tub of ice cream. "Oh my god Emma, you’re almost done with that whole thing already." "Yeah and its weird I don’t even like ice cream.” Emma got up to go to the bathroom then came back a few minutes later. "That’s like the millionth time you’ve gone to the bathroom.” I know. Do you think something is wrong with me?" "No Emma. Nothing’s wrong with you. That happens to me sometimes. But anyways, so you and Sean, what’s up with you guys?" "What?" "Do you love Sean?" "Of course I do" "Why?" "He makes me happy. We have this whole background together plus I feel comfortable around him. I can make a joke to him and he gets it. And he also gets me. Like you know how I want to do that trip where I go to Africa to help the children and the forests there?" "I think the whole world knows you want to do that Emma." "When I told Jay that he told me it was a stupid idea. When I told Sean he said he would come with me, and pay for my plane ticket. "Aw." Emma hit Manny with the pillow. "Shut up!"

At School

Emma walked up to Jay in the hallway and put her hands over his eyes when he was at his locker. "Guess who." "Could it be my lovely girlfriend?" He took her hands off his eyes and turned around and kissed her "Did you just call me your girlfriend?" "Yes, Emma you are my girlfriend." "I know but you never called me it before. It’s nice." "Then I should call you it more often." He slammed his locker shut and put his arm around her in the hallway.

After class Emma and Manny went to the library and started talking. "Emma he called you his lovely girlfriend." "I know it’s kind of weird, but sweet in a weird way." They started laughing. "So how have you been feeling?" "What do you mean?" "Yesterday you were going to the bathroom every five seconds and eating everything in site." "Today I just have this huge cramp. It'll go away soon. I am probably just nervous." "For what?" "Sean isn’t here today and Jay is. I have to be nervous." "You feel nervous around Jay?" "I have to make sure I say the right things." "That’s so stupid Emma! You’re not supposed to feel weird around your boyfriend. You’re supposed to feel comfortable." "I know. You don’t have to lecture me.” Just then J.T and Toby walked in. "Hey Toby.” “Don’t say that. I get some...from lots of girls." "Oh yes. Raise the roof J.T" "Shut up Emma! At least I’m not at the ravine constantly getting gonorrhea." Emma stood up like she was going to beat the hell out of him but Manny pushed her down. "Whatever." J.T sat next to Manny and then Toby was to the left. Just then a sixth grader came in and sat next to Emma. "Go away Richie" She said to him. "My love, why do you disclaim me?" "Because I used to baby sit you." "Then let’s take it farther!" He tried to kiss her but she put her hand up and pushed him down. "So Manny told me you weren’t feeling good last night, Emma are you feeling better now?" (JT said that.) "Yeah I’m better. I'd feel even better if this sixth grader would leave!" Richie stood up and bowed then walked out the door. "He has a nice personality." (Manny) "Who does, Richie?" Emma made a gross face and said "Ew.” J.T and Manny laughed and then J.T left.

"So, you and Jay had sex?" "Yes, like two nights ago." "Oh." "What?" "Did you like it?" "Of course I did...gosh Manny." "No that’s not what I meant. I mean, was he good?" "I don’t know it was my first time. I can’t put him against Sean or whatever." "Why not?" "I’ve never slept with Sean." "Then do it." "No!" "Why not Emma?" "I’m not a tramp. I’m not going to sleep with every guy just to find out if Jay is good in bed." "Sleep with Richie he'd like it." Manny laughed and Emma made a funny face at her. "Yeah I’m sure he would.” "So… those stomach cramps you don’t have anything to worry about. Probably just the reaction you got to him." "Ew, Manny you are so gross. I can’t believe you just said that.” Manny laughed.

Sean and Emma

During next period Emma skipped and walked to Sean's house. Sean opened the door to see Emma standing there. "Emma, aren’t you supposed to be at school today?" "Aren’t you?" Sean looked plainly at her and moved to the side to signal her to come in. She walked in and everything was all cleaned up. "What’s this about Em?" "I don’t know....I just wanted to see you" "Oh." Sean walked to the living room and continued to clean. It looked like he was cleaning all day or something. Sean thought Emma looked so pretty today. She wore the long sleeved pink "Arabian" shirt as they called it last year. Her hair was pulled up into a bun; she was wearing long earrings, and some jeans. She had some white eyeliner on, followed by some lip-gloss. Sean was wearing a white short sleeved shirt with some baggy jeans. No chain though. She liked the way his hair was. It was sort of long, and it hanged in front of his eyes. He always gelled it back, so it was perfect, yet sort of messy. "So Emma...did you go to school at all today?" "Yah...hoping you would be there but you weren’t.” "Yeah, I’ve been cleaning all day." "Oh, couldn’t tell." "Hah" "Sean I hate to bring this up, but you are the only one I know who had an A in sex ED." Sean stopped cleaning and looked up at Emma. "Yah, so what’s your point?" "Umm...how long does it take for a girl to get pregnant?" "A girl can.....what?" Emma started crying a little. Sean walked over to her and hugged her. Emma hugged him back and cried in his shoulder.

Chapter Twelve

Still Sean and Emma

Sean just sat there taking it all in. A few minutes passed by but he still didn’t know why Emma of all people didn’t make him stop to see if he had protection. “Emma I think you should go to the drug store and buy a few tests so that way you will know for sure.” “He said in a very concerned way. “I would but I used the last of my money up at The Dot the other night.” “Oh. Well here then, take this.” He handed her five dollars. “Sean I can’t take your money.” “Yes you can Emma, and if you want I will even go to the store with you.” “No, it’s fine, but I will call you about it later okay?” “Okay. Bye Emma.”

At the Drug Store

Emma was looking around for the isle that had pregnancy tests but she couldn’t find it. “Do you need help finding anything miss?” The sales woman asked. “Yes actually. Where are your pregnancy tests?” She asked kind of embarrassed. “They are located in isle six.” “Thank you.” Emma bought a few just to make sure. “Is that all?” The woman asked. “Yeah that’s all. Thanks.”

Emma’s House

No one was home at Emma’s so she decided to use the upstairs bathroom. A few minutes later she went to check to see if she was or not. The three tests she bought were all positive. She gasped. Then she started crying. She grabbed her things and ran to Sean’s.

Sean and Emma

Emma was pounding on the door. “Hold on I will be there in a minute.” “No Sean, open the dam door now.” Emma yelled. “Emma, what’s wrong?” He asked seeing the tears keep coming down from here eyes. “Sean I am, I am pregnant.” “Oh. Wow this is um…“ He was cut off. “It’s what Sean bad, because it is. Jay doesn’t know and I can bet you anything that he doesn’t want a baby right now. “Emma it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want the baby. It’s what you want. I know how much you are against abortion so have the baby. You can move in with me and I will help you take care of the baby and you. We could have our own little family.” “Sean, it isn’t even your baby. Jay and I having sex wasn’t exactly a good thing to you so why are you doing this? I know how much you hate babies.” “No Emma, I don’t hate babies I was just mad because you were spending so much time with your family and not me. I was selfish but I really want to help you and the baby. Actually, I want to be with you. I don’t care if it isn’t my baby. The thought of me raising a baby with you by my side is only going to make me happy. It could be some old geezer’s baby and I wouldn’t care.” Emma laughed a little after the last comment. “Well okay, maybe I would care if it was some old guy’s baby because that’s just wrong but you get my point don’t you?” He was running out of breath. “Yes Sean, I get your point but…” “But nothing Emma. I love you and I know you don’t want to hear that or were even expecting me to say that but I do.” You made a mistake or whatever you want to call that. We all do. Look at me, I have made so many mistakes and yet you still were there by my side until I joined forces with Jay. You don’t know how much that means to me.” “Sean I don’t know what to say.” “Say you will move in with me and let us be together again.” “I don’t know. Jay needs to know and so do my parents.” “Then tell them, but please say you will think about it?” “I will. Don’t worry.” Emma got up and showed herself to the door.

Sean’s Thoughts

I can’t believe she is pregnant. At least she is going to think about what I said. I really love Emma and that would be the best day of my life if she says she will move in and be with me. I don’t think I would be able to survive if she wasn’t here with me.

At Emma’s House

She saw her mom and dad sitting at the kitchen table. “Mom, dad we need to talk.” “What’s wrong Em?” Her mom said. “Well it’s a good thing you are sitting down.” “Emma, tell us.” Her dad said. “Well, when you guys were gone that weekend I invited Jay over. He left me a message saying we needed to take so I called him back and told him to come over. We talked sort of and then we started kissing. After that we had sex. I was stupid and didn’t make sure he was using protection. I went to Sean’s today and told him I might be pregnant. Then I went to the drug store and I bought three tests. They are all positive. They are still in the upstairs bathroom if you don’t believe me.” “Oh, Emma.” They both said in unison. “I am really sorry.” “No honey, don’t be sorry. It’s going to be okay. Have you deciding if you are going to keep the baby or not?” “Well that’s another thing I need to tell you. Sean wants me to move in. He says we can have a little family and that he will help raise the baby.” “Emma I thought Jay was the babies father?” “He is, but Sean doesn’t care. He just wants to be with me and the baby.” “Does Jay know that?” Her dad asked. “No, I haven’t told him yet. I came here first to tell you guys and then I am going to head over to his house.” “Well go tell him right now. Snake and I will tell you later if you can move in with Sean or not.” “Okay thanks mom. Bye.”

Emma and Jay

Emma rang the door bell to his house. He opened the door and was surprised to see her. “Emma, what are you doing here?” “Jay we need to talk.” “Can it wait till later?” “No Jay it can’t. Now you either come outside right now or I will blurt to the whole world, or at least everyone who is in your house that you knocked up your girlfriend. “Okay Emma, calm down.’’ He was outside now. ‘’What did you want to talk about?” “Jay I am pregnant. I know you don’t want a baby right now and well Sean said I could move in with him. He wants to help raise the baby.” “What? Emma it’s my baby growing inside of you. I am not letting Slim Shady raise our baby, nor am I letting you live with him. He was so angry. “I don’t care what you want Jay. You slept with Alex and then I went back to you. It is my decision not yours. I am moving in with Sean whether you like it or not. Once the baby is born you can still come over and see him. It’s not like I am not allowing you to see our baby. I’m just not letting you raise him. If he or she grows up thinking Sean is their daddy then fine. I won’t care. At least then I won’t have to tell them that their real dad knocked up their mom after having sex with his ex and got her pregnant, then ignored her for weeks.” Emma was yelling so loud that people two blocks from Jay’s house could probably hear her. “Emma I don’t know what to say. You and Sean can go have your little family but I am going to see my child. You can’t stop me. That thing inside you is mine too. I might be a little drunk at times and do things I regret later but that doesn’t mean I am going to be a bad father. Even if I can’t help raise the baby I will still send you money for diapers and food or whatever. As much as you don’t want me to be apart of this I am going too. Who knows, having a baby might just turn my life around.” With that said he went inside. Emma felt a little guilty because she made it seem like he would never be able to see their baby. She wasn’t like that at all. He could always go see the baby. He could even have the baby for weekends or baby sit if he wanted. She got up and started walking home.

At Emma’s House

Mom, dad, I’m home. “Come in the kitchen please, Emma. We need to talk.” “Okay. Talk about what?” “Since you are pregnant you know you have to drop out of school right?” “Yeah, and I was thinking, maybe you guys could have someone home school me. That way next year I won’t have to repeat the same grade. I know it would probably be a lot of money but I won’t ever ask you to baby sit or give me money to borrow or anything.” “Whoa. We were thinking the same thing about being home schooled, for the time being anyway. Once you have the baby it will be a little hard to be home schooled unless we watch the baby, which we are willing to do.  It’s fine if you occasionally ask us for some money. We know you will need some to start off with.” “Mom and dad, thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me. I need to go tell Sean.”

Emma and Sean

Emma was walking to Sean’s house. Little did she know he was on his way over to her house. They both turned the corner and bumped heads. “Owe!!” They said in unison. “Sean I’m sorry. Wait, Sean?” “Emma I was just on my way over to your house. We need to talk. Jay called after you went to his house. He seemed kind of sad. He wants to help raise this baby. You can’t tell him he can’t see his baby girl or boy. That is just plain wrong. I can’t let you come live with me and help you raise this thing growing inside you if you won’t let the babies father visit and help take care of him or her.” He seemed kind of mad too. “Sean I never told Jay he couldn’t help raise the baby. I told him he could come see the baby and everything. He just can’t expect me to go live with him or anything. Whatever Jay told you, forget, because I know what I told him and he was just mad that you and I are going to have our own little family, just with his baby.” She was yelling a little. “Emma, he told me something completely different, I am so sorry. But Jay is going to see the baby every weekend and he can even baby sit if he wants okay?” “Yes, I know that already.”

Chapter Thirteen

Emma, Sean and Family

Emma was at her house trying to move everything into Sean’s truck. But Sean wouldn’t let her. "Sean! Let me help!" She said trying to take away some books he was carrying. "No! Emma...the baby-" "The baby won’t care if you let me take the books." "Emma, no.” He kissed her forehead and kept walking towards the car. Emma put her hands on her hips and walked inside the house. She took her hair out of the ponytail and walked around bored. She tried to eat something because she hasn’t eaten anything all day. She walked to the fridge and got out a piece of cake. She also grabbed a pop. She went back outside with her food and sat on the table with her mom while Snake and Sean were moving everything. "So… Emma, how are you feeling?" "I’m good. Hungry.” She took a bite of her cake. "Yeah we can go get something to eat after they are all done with this.” Sean heard and replied for Emma. And he was yelling a little so she could hear him. "Oh, no can do Mrs. Nelson! I’m taking Emma out on a dinner." "Oh you are? Well you and Emma should have a good time." Spike said. Emma took a sip of her pop. Emma heard the phone ringing. She put down her cake and her pop and ran back inside the house. "Hello?" "Hey..." "Jay?" "Yeah..." "Um, hey" "I don’t want you moving in with Sean." Jay talked like he was kind of upset, like he was crying or something all day. "Jay, I um...” "Please?" "I don’t know what to say...” "Say you love me, and you’re going to move in with me." "I can’t do that." "Why not?" "You wouldn’t be able to handle the responsibility of living with the child and me!" Sean walked into the kitchen and saw Emma on the phone he walked a little towards her.” "Jay, please I’m sorry but no…" Sean grabbed the phone from her. "Jay? This is Sean." Emma tried to grab the phone away from him. She had no idea what Jay was saying to him. "Oh, yeah man. We are moving right now. Yeah this second…yeah....ok...c ya man.” Sean hung up the phone and hugged Emma. "Look Emma, if you are having any regrets, then stay with Jay." "I can’t stay with him; he couldn’t handle that much responsibility." "I guess you are right." He kissed her cheek and walked outside.

Emma and Sean

Emma walked in the house holding her backpack. She walked in and looked around. All her stuff was in there. The house didn’t even look the same. "So Emma, do you need anything?" "No, I’m ok" "Are you sure?" "Yeah. I’m actually kind of tired." "Oh, then go to sleep." "Um yeah ok..." Sean turned the other way and started to carry this box to the living room. "Um, where?" Emma felt so stupid when she asked the question. Sean laughed though. "Where? In your bed. Ha ha.” "Oh, um where are you going to sleep?" "On the couch..." "You have a bed Sean." "Not while you are pregnant." "Look Sean I'll be fine. You don’t have to care so much.” Sean didn’t say anything. He was making some blankets on the couch and walked over to the kitchen. "You should go to bed now Em." Emma didn’t say anything else. She just walked to his room and went to sleep.

Emma and Jay

Emma couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night. So she took her car keys which were sitting on the table and started to take a drive. When she was in the car her cell phone went off. She stopped the car on the side of the road and answered it. "Hello?" "Emma...what are you doing up?" "Jay! I couldn’t sleep. Where are you?" "I am at the ravine. Why?" "Well, you called me Jay. Not the other way around." "Good point. Look, I wanted to talk to you in person but I guess you’re busy with Sean?" "No. I’m in the car right now. I can drive over if you want me too." "Yeah, okay. That would be great." Jay hung up the phone without saying goodbye, as usual. Emma hung it up and drove to the ravine. When she got there she saw Jay sitting at a table. She walked over and sat down. "So....what did you want to talk to me about?" "Look I’m sorry..." "For what? Lying to Sean and saying I said you couldn’t see the baby?" "Yeah, and for getting you pregnant in the first place." "Don’t be sorry for that Jay." "I am....I don’t do that normally." "What?" "Sleep with girls...I’m not even supposed to... It’s against my religion." "Having sex is against your religion?!" "No, having sex before marriage is." "Oh so that’s why you had every girl give you ORAL sex." "Yeah I guess so." Emma leaned back and lay down next to Jay on top of the table. "My parent’s don’t even know yet Em." "I'll tell them." "No, I have too." "What do you think they'll do?" "Or say." "Yeah" "I don’t know..." "I’m sorry." "For what?" "Doing this too you." "Doing what Emma?" "I shouldn’t have even got in the car with you after Sean left." "You needed a ride home, so what?" "Never mind.” Emma got up and walked out to the car.  "Hey Emma!" "What?" They were screaming at each other because they were so far away. "What are we going to do?!" "I don’t know." "I can still see the baby right?" "Of course you can.” "Will the baby know if I’m its dad or not?" "It'll know you are its dad." "What is Sean going to be in all of this to the kid?” "Another dad I guess?" Jay laughed. "I wouldn’t really like that Em!" "I know! That’s kind of why I said it.” Jay smiled at her and Emma walked back to her car and drove home.

Emma and Sean

Emma woke up and saw Sean in the kitchen blasting up his music and making cereal. He was dancing. And Emma giggled at him. Sean turned around and stopped dancing after he saw Emma. "Emma, I didn’t know you were there." Sean turned off the music. "I thought you hated dancing.” "I do." Emma smiled and hugged Sean. He hugged her back and kissed her neck in a friendly manner. "Emma, are you happy?" "Of course I am." "What’s it going to be like when the baby is here?" "What?" "You have a baby brother...you know what its like to have a baby in the house, I don’t. What is it going to be like?" "Well, it might be noisy, and messy, and somehow we are just going to focus on him or her.” Sean smiled and hugged her again. "Emma, I love you." "I love you to Sean."

Sean's Thoughts

I don’t think I’m ready for a baby. I mean it’s not even mine. It’s Emma and Jay's. What am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to treat a baby. I don’t like noises or complaints. I don’t even like babies. What the hell am I going to do? How am I supposed to raise a baby? I’m just 17.

Emma's Thoughts

Maybe I shouldn’t put all this pressure on Sean. It’s not even his kid...how am I going to deal with this? I’m only 16 and he’s 17. Jay would rather do it. But I don’t know...Sean looks happy. But I don’t think he is, maybe I should just get an abortion. Get it all over with. Then we wouldn’t have to deal with it.

Chapter Fourteen

Emma and Sean

Emma walked through the door and saw Sean watching TV. "Emma, I thought you were sleeping." "Yeah I was. Um, can we talk?" Sean turned off the TV and walked over to Emma. "Yeah sure, what’s up?" Emma sat on the stool on the kitchen. "Um, I’m having doubts." "About what?" Emma looked down. "Umm..." She felt her stomach. Something didn’t feel right. It started hurting really bad. "Emma, what is it?" "Oh yeah, um...” She felt her head start to feel hotter. "Are you okay Em? Whats wrong?" "Yeah, I’m fine, just my stomach hurts really bad." Sean's face turned from calm to panic. "Oh!" He grabbed a glass of water and gave it to her. She took the glass and started chugging it. When she was in the middle of the glass she fell to the ground.

Hospital
Emma woke up in the hospital and saw nobody around her, except she saw Jay in the seat. "Hey Emma.” Emma saw Jay but didn’t remember anything that happened. "What happened?" "You fell. You um, lost the baby." Emma sat up and looked at Jay. Jay started to cry a little. Emma hugged him and he cried in her shoulder. She cried in his.
Later Jay left and Sean came in. "Emma! Oh my God! Are you okay?" "Yeah, did the baby really die?" Sean didn’t say anything. He just walked back to the other side of the room and looked out the window. "Today’s really pretty." He said. "Sean, don’t change the subject.” Sean looked back at Emma and his mouth went dry. "Yeah, you did.” Emma started to cry and Sean ran over to her. "Emma! No, no don’t do that.” He hugged her and let her cry on his shoulder. "Sh sh.” "You know last night? I wanted to talk to you about something?" "Yeah." "I wanted to get an abortion." "Emma, an abortion? No. I wouldn’t have let you." "Yeah I know.” She started to cry again.

Later
Emma lay in bed really bored. But kind of like a message Jay came back in. "Jay, it’s passed visiting hours." "I know." "How did you get in?" "The other window." "Oh, of course.” Jay smiled and walked over to Emma. "So, um…" "Um? Is that why you came here?" "No." "Then why?" "Because you are my friend...” "No way." Jay laughed and then Emma did too. Jay walked over and sat next to Emma on her bed. "Jay?" "Yes Emma?" "Do you think things would have been different for us if we didn’t lose the baby?" Emma started crying again. "Oh Emma, don’t, don’t do that.” She wiped the tears off of her face. He faced her. "Emma. Look at me.’’ Emma looked at him and he wiped the rest of the tears off of her face. "Things wouldn’t have been different. We are too young for this anyway. This is for the better." "It died Jay. That’s not better." "Do you think he or she would have had a good life?" "We could have tried." "No Emma. The truth is we would have given the baby up for adoption because we would have gotten scared. It wouldn’t have had a good life with us. You know this." Jay hugged her and she hugged him back. But this was the biggest and closest hug he gave anybody. She started crying.

Emma’s Thoughts

She or He would have had a good life with me. Me, Sean, and Jay would have made the best family in the world. Jay isn’t so good at comforting. And if I thought we wouldn’t have made a good family then I would have put he/she up for adoption and they would have had a good life then. Hey with me is WAY better then dead. Jay would admit it. I know.

Sean’s Thoughts

I feel so bad. Emma doesn’t deserve this. She's such a good person. She even got excited for the baby. I love her. And I know she loves me, even though I might have to share her with Jay. Sharing her is better then not having her at all. She’s my life. I would do anything for her. She’s MINE. Not HIS.

Jay’s Thoughts

Emma, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I know I say "sorry" a lot to you and don’t mean it, but this time I mean it. This is Sean’s fault. If she stayed with me I would have taken her to a doctor the second she said she didn’t feel too good. I love her more then he does.

Chapter Fifteen

Emma and Her Parents

“Emma honey, we are so sorry about the baby.” Her mom said in a sad and somewhat depressing voice. “Mommy…” Emma started crying. “I should have gone to the doctors when I first started getting pain in my stomach that day. Then maybe, just maybe the baby would still be alive.” When she finished, she was in tears. “Oh honey, it will be alright. Don’t you worry. We will get things back to normal sooner or later. Snake and I do need to talk about something with you though.” Emma was still crying, but just not as much. “Okay… what do you need to talk to me about?” “Well, Emma honey, we think it’s best that you come home. You know, to deal with all of this. This happened to someone I once knew. She lost the baby and lived with her boyfriend. She kept him up on random nights, just crying herself to sleep. She felt so much regret. She thought it was her fault, and it put so much pressure on her boyfriend.” “Mom, what are you trying to say? That I am going to be like this person you once knew who kept her boyfriend up all night and cried randomly, feeling nothing but sorrow and regret, because I’m not. Besides, I don’t even have a boyfriend. Sean and I love each other yes, but it’s nothing like it was before. At least I don’t think so, and then there is Jay. It’s all confusing with them both.” She was really mad now. She didn’t want to leave Sean; deep down inside of her soul she really did have feelings for Sean, even stronger ones now. “Emma, I’m sorry. We both are, but it’s final… you are moving your stuff back home once you get out of the hospital. We also think it would be best if whatever is going on between you and Sean stop. Throughout the past four years it has been nothing but you being happy one minute and mad the next. If you are happy it’s because of Sean and if you are mad or upset it is also because of him. You got hurt really bad. Snake and I can’t see you go through that again.” With that said, they both left the room. The funny thing was Emma’s mom said that her and Snake needed to talk to her and came up with the decisions they told her, except Snake hadn’t said a word. Just looked at Emma with sorrow and regret, for letting her mom do this to her.

Emma and Sean

Emma walked up to Sean’s apartment door and took a quick deep breathe before knocking. Sean opened the door and was surprised to see Emma out so soon. “Emma, what are you doing here?” “Oh I don’t know, coming by to see you. Thinking maybe, just maybe you would be happy to see me, but I guess that’s not the case.” Emma blurted out. “Oh, Emma, no don’t think that. I am happy you are here; I am just kind of shocked. I mean, after everything that happened I figured you would want to spend time with your parents, not me.” “That’s what I can here to talk about. See, my parents, or at least my mom thinks so, that I should move my stuff back home and live there. It’s best for me, my mom says.” Emma wasn’t finished talking to him, but she couldn’t tell him the real reason why she had to break up with him, so she gathered her thoughts together and made up an excuse. “Sean, I can’t see you anymore. No, I don’t want to see you anymore.” Finally, she said it. She was so sad and felt awful about it but it’s what was best she kept telling herself. “What? No. Why are you doing this to me Emma?” “Doing what to you Sean? You did this to me. You left me no choice. You think that just because I got pregnant and Jay didn’t want a baby that I would just forgive you for everything you put me through. Even if I did have the baby, I don’t think I could really live here. Besides, I would be your rebound. You and Ellie, this is your home. Even though you guys broke up a while ago I still feel like your rebound. It was me then Ashley, then me again. After that it was Amy, and then Ellie. We are always on again off again and I can’t go through the pain again.” Her face turned red from al the rage she kept inside her all these years. No, she didn’t want to break up with him, but yelling at him and telling him all the pain he caused her felt kind of good. “Emma, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I-‘’ “Yes Sean, you are always sorry, but do you mean it? No, I don’t think you do. So this time, I am going to be the one who breaks your heart that is assuming you even have one. I will be by tomorrow to pick up my things.” All Sean could do was just stand there. He knew he had hurt her, but he didn’t know it was this much. She was wrong he thought. He does have a heart, but there was no point in arguing. “If this is what you want. You know where the door is.”

Chapter Sixteen

At School

Emma walked up the steps of Degrassi with nothing but a look of sorrow on her face. She knew that she broke up with Sean only a few nights before but she had to make things right. If they couldn’t be “together” then maybe they could be friends. He couldn’t hurt her that way. Just as she turned the corner she couldn’t believe her eyes.

Emma’s Thoughts

I know we just broke up but maybe I was right. I am the rebound. If I am not mistaking, I just saw him kissing Ellie. I’m not saying he has to take forever to get over me but if he really did love me like he said, then he wouldn’t be making out with Ellie a couple days after we break up. You just don’t do that.

Sean and Emma

She walked up to them quietly. Even if she made the loudest noise possible they probably wouldn’t have stopped kissing, they were so into it, or each other. “Sean, nice to see you got over me so quickly. I mean I know I what I said the other day must have hurt but come on. I was right. I am the rebound girl otherwise you wouldn’t be making out with Vampire Chick here days after we break up.” With that said she started running for the girls’ bathroom. “Emma! Wait up. It’s not what you think. Well maybe it is but just wait please.” “No Sean, you ruined it. I was looking for you so I could tell you something and the real reason we had to break up but now I see it. My mom was right. You like enjoy the pleasure of breaking my heart.” She opened the door to the bathroom and locked it. “Oh man. What have I gotten myself into?” He ran into the janitor’s closet to get the keys to the girls’ bathroom. He opened the door and saw Emma lying on the floor. The floor was covered with blood. It took him a minute to figure out where it came from and then it dawned on him. Emma had cut her wrists. “No!! Emma, please wake up. I love you. I always have. Please just wake up. I need you so much.” Just then Ellie came in. “Sean what’s going-“ Ellie gasped. “I’ll go get the principal.”

Within minutes the ambulance came in and people were once again locked into their classrooms. Everyone was in panic thinking that another Rick incident happened. In Manny’s classroom, she was called outside to talk to Ms. Suave.

Manny and Ms. Suave

“Manny, it’s about Emma. She is-“ “What? No, it can’t be.” “Manny, Emma is in the hospital. She locked herself in the bathroom and cut herself. She must have cut really deep because she passed out and lost a lot of blood. She is very lucky though.” “What? How is she lucky? She might not live because of this.” “Sean, Sean got the keys to the bathroom and unlocked the door. Emma and Sean must have had a fight or something. If Sean hadn’t unlocked the door, she might have died right there.” Manny was crying by this time. She didn’t know what to do. She certainly couldn’t go talk about this to her class.

Manny and Her Classmates

“Manny what’s wrong?” Someone said. “It’s Emma. You don’t know her, well you do but you aren’t her friend. She is in the hospital. I’m not going to tell you why but know it is serious.” “Oh, Manny. I am-“ “No I don’t need to hear that you are sorry. Just everyone, please leave me alone. I need to be alone. Think about things.” “Okay.” A bunch of her classmates said, and then left her alone.

Sean’s Thoughts

This is my fault. She is right. I shouldn’t have been kissing Ellie a few days after Emma and I broke up. It’s not right. Even if I was just trying to make her jealous and take me back, it wasn’t right. If she dies or something really bad happens I don’t know if I will be able to forgive myself. I love her. It’s not puppy love or the love teenagers think they are in if they’re with someone for a long time. It is real love. I know I am still young but I know it’s true. Yeah, I would feel bad if one of my ex girlfriends was in the hospital or died but not as much as I would about Emma. That’s sort of bad? But I can’t take it. I love everything about her. I love the way she smiles, how she cares about the environment, how she isn’t afraid to speak her mind, how she doesn’t put anyone else before her, basically everything.

Chapter Seventeen

Emma
Emma woke up in the hospital and saw cuts on her wrists. She didn’t remember anything that happened but when she looked down she completely freaked out. She looked around the room and saw she was lying in a hospital bed and not her own. "Oh my god, what happened?" she screamed. She pressed the NURSE Button and a nurse came in quickly. "Oh Emma you are awake. That’s good. How are you feeling?" "What the hell happened?" "You...you don’t remember?" The nurse was kind of freaked out because she was a rookie at these types of things and she didn’t know they gave Emma some medicine. "That’s what I just said!" "Oh, okay … just calm down. Hold on. Let me get the doctor.” After she said that Emma calmed down a little and started to think about school and things. Trying to remember what happened.

Emma’s Thoughts

Oh okay. I was at school and I talked to Sean. I remember Sean was there, or was it Jay? No! No it was Sean...okay. Sean and Manny? No. Um...I was walking home from school. Yeah, that’s it. Wait, no. I was walking to school. And then I saw Manny? Damn it! How come I can’t get it right? Wait! No! I saw something that I didn’t like...something that involved one of the guys....was J.T there? I don’t remember J.T, it was probably Jay. I know I have seen lots of things I don’t like with Jay. Oh my god, no it was Sean and another girl? Oh my god, was it Manny?

Emma
Emma now thought that Sean and Manny were going out. Right after she started thinking that the doctor came in with the same nurse that came in before, and a new one. "Hello Emma. How are you feeling?" Emma was now really mad. "Pissed." She said in a deep tone, while she thought. "How so?" "I remember something. Yeah, it was Sean and a girl." "Good job. Were these kids’ friends of yours?" "Yes! That’s why I’m pissed!" The doctor started laughing. "Well do you remember anything that happened to you?" "No. I’m still working on that." "Okay. Emma, you have to promise me you won’t freak out or anything." "I promise." "Emma, you tried cutting yourself with a few razors and-" "No. I tried killing myself? Oh my god. I remember!" Emma looked all happy while the doctor looked back at the nurses and then back at Emma. "You tried killing yourself?" "Yeah, I can’t believe I remembered that...and then Sean came into the girls’ washroom and helped me right?" "Yes." "And then when I saw him and Ellie making out, oh, .Ellie." "Your friend?" He said while checking her arm. "No, not really. I mean I know her, but she's not really my best bud or anything." "Well that’s good." He said. He wasn’t really paying attention to her, and Emma wasn’t really paying attention to him.

Emma and Sean

Sean ran into the emergency room and looked at Emma. "Oh my god! Emma. I can’t believe…" "Can’t believe what?" "You would try to do something like this. I mean…" Emma moved her head in a way that signaled him she didn’t really care. "Emma, what’s wrong?" "I’m in the hospital and I just remembered why I am." She looked at Sean and then back at the ground. Sean started thinking.

Sean’s Thoughts

Is she trying to tell me this is my fault or something?

Emma and Sean

"Are you trying to tell me this is my fault or something like that?" "It’s not your fault." "Emma cutting isn’t-" "How come everybody thinks I tried cutting myself? If I wanted to cut they would be on my arms and not on my wrists." She didn’t even look at Sean. She was looking toward the windows outside. Sean started to see where she was going. "Did you try committing suicide?" "Yeah…" "Why would you do that? I mean, didn’t you learn your lesson when you were cutting?" "I guess not." Emma said it in a tone of voice that made him feel like crap. "I’m sorry." She looked at him and back at the windows. He walked outside in the hall and went home.

Chapter Eighteen

Emma

Her parents always came to the hospital for their "hourly visits” but this time was different. Spike was the only one there and she told Emma to sit down. "What is it mom?" "Emma, normal kids don’t go off and try to commit suicide." "So, I’m not normal?" "I’m not saying that." "Yeah you are." "No." "Normal kids don’t do that and well I did so I’m not normal." "I didn’t mean it that way." "I don’t care, you still said it." "Look Emma, I think we should put you in a hospital." "I am in a hospital. Right now actually." "Not this kind of hospital. A-" Emma cut her off. "A crazy one? You’re going to put me in with my father?” "No. Well yes. Just for a few days though honey." "Okay you know what? I don’t like it when people call me crazy, mentally ill, different, or not normal, and you called me two in the past twenty seconds. So maybe you should just leave.” Her mom grabbed her purse and walked out the door.


Emma and Manny

Emma finally got out of the hospital and walked up to Degrassi. When she went in to Degrassi and everybody was looking at her. She saw Manny at her locker and she walked up to her. "Hey Manny." Manny turned around and gave her a terrible look. "Why the hell did you do that Emma?" "Do what?" "Scare the crap out of me." "Um." "I couldn’t sleep for three days straight." "I’m sorry?" "You better be, now give me a hug." Manny walked over to Emma and hugged her. "How are you feeling Em?" "Better, and glad I’m out of there." "Yeah I would be too. That place looked terrible." "It was terrible." They started walking down the hallway together. "Well I’m glad you’re out." "What did I miss?" "Spinner and I broke up." "Oh I’m sorry." "No it’s okay. It was bound to happen anyway." "Who broke up with whom?" "He broke up with me." "Why?" "I don’t really want to talk about it right now." "That’s okay." Manny looked down the hallway and back at Emma. Kind of in a way to look around to make sure no one was listening to her. "Emma…" "Yeah?" "Ellie and Craig are going out." "So?" "Sean doesn’t care." "He doesn’t?" "No.  Craig told him and Sean didn’t do anything. He acted exactly the way everybody else acted." "That’s so weird". "I know right? Hey I have to go talk to Ashley. I’ll talk to you later okay? Don’t do anything stupid." "I won’t." Manny walked down the hallway after giving Emma another hug and then Emma went the opposite direction. She turned the corner and saw Sean walking out of Ms. Suave's office.

Emma and Sean

Emma ran up to Sean and pushed him gently, but kind of ruff to let him know she was pissed. "You told me you hated therapy!" "Emma, um." "No, no, no, no. Um. You told me you hated talking. And you'll only talk when people make you. What were you talking about?" "What?" "I know you were talking about me Sean! Don’t lie!" "I’m not lying, I was talking about you. Yeah, that’s just because I was worried." "Worried about what? I’m fine!" "No you’re not! You’re sick Emma!" Emma didn’t like being called this. She actually hated it. She would have preferred to be called Green Peace. "How?" "Kids don’t commit suicide because of boredom or because it’s a trend" "That’s not why I did it though." "Then why?" "Sean I did it because of you. That’s why." Emma started to walk down the hallway and then Sean pushed her back towards him. "No, no, no, no, no. You broke up with me Emma!" He said in a harsh tone. "Like I meant it Sean! You know how stupid I am when it comes to this!" Emma was yelling at him. "I didn’t know you didn’t mean it!" "Well I thought you did!" "Why would you think that?" "Because when you’re in love with someone you know when they know. So apparently I’m not!" "You are in love with me?" "I don’t know anymore; just don’t talk to Ms. Suave about me alright." Emma started walking down the hallway and she skipped school the rest of the day.

Manny and Sean

Sean walked up to Manny at Lunch "Hey Manny. Have you seen Emma?" "No. Her mom came to pick her up. She’s taking her to some hospital or something." "What?" "Yeah, her mom thinks she's crazy, and I’m getting tired of Emma always in the hospital. We miss her you know?" "What hospital?" "The same one her dad is in." "Bye." Sean ran outside and drove to her dad’s hospital.

Emma, Sean, and Nurse

Sean ran up to Emma's room and saw her sitting on the bed. "Sean." "I’m sorry." "For what?" "I don’t know. I am just making you do this I guess." "No, it’s not your fault. I did it, not you." Just then a therapist knocked on the door. "Sean, it is the teacher person." "Okay I wont’ say anything. I’ll just sit here." "Okay." The therapist walked in and saw Sean but ignored him. "Now Emma, your mother wants you to stay here for a little while." Sean had the urge to blurt out "No." but he didn’t. He sat there and looked at Emma. "I’m not staying here." Emma said in a depressed/pissed off tone of voice. She wasn’t even looking at the doctor. She was looking down on the ground. "Well would it be alright if you just talked to me?" "No." "Why not?" “I don’t want too." "Well it seems to me that you are a very depressed young lady and need to stay a few weeks." "No." "I think you do." "Well I don’t!" Sean was surprised Emma could even get this mad. Emma continued. "Look teacher lady, I don’t have to stay here. I look depressed because I’m pissed off because she frickin dragged me up here, when I don’t want to be here. I don’t even need to go here. I’m healthy. I’m fine. I just want to go home!" The teacher lady stood up and before she left she looked back and said "Your father Shane is here to see you though." Emma looked up and then looked at Sean. And then she nodded at her.

Sean’s Thoughts

I never met her father! I don’t know what he's like. He’s a doctor right? Yeah, he’s a doctor. Okay, so he’s probably oh so smart or something. I’m never going to get to be like him. It’s either she’s going to realize I’m a loser and then ditch me or he’s going to think I’m white trash and then make her ditch me. Oh god.

Chapter Nineteen

Sean and Emma

The nurse left the room to go get Emma’s dad and since then the room had been quiet. Sean decided to break the silence. “So Emma, how is your dad? Have you talked to him lately?” Emma didn’t say anything and Sean was beginning to worry that she was mad at him all over again. “Emma, I did ask you a question so do you mind answering me?” “Sean, I think you should leave.” As he is laughing Emma is about to cry, but Sean of course wasn’t paying attention. “What? Why do you want me to leave?” She didn’t say anything. All she did was look at the door hoping Sean would take the message and leave. Of course he didn’t take the hint.

Sean, Emma, and Shane

Shane came in and Sean immediately stopped laughing. Emma was so embarrassed. Shane had not expected Sean to be there. Actually, he didn’t know who he was but he had an idea. “Is this him Emma?” Shane asked with a big smile on his face. Emma on the other hand was kind of surprised because the last time she talked about Sean to her dad was when she went to go see him with Craig. And that had been a while ago. Sean just sat up in his chair with a smirk on his face. Shane went over and gave him a hug. Sean hadn’t expected Emma to talk about him of all things when she went to see her dad.

It was quiet for a while but then Shane broke the silence. “Emma, I was talking to your mom a few minutes ago. She thinks this is best for you. I told her you shouldn’t be here. It is for crazy-“ He was cut off by Sean. “It is a place for what, crazy people? No, you aren’t crazy and neither is Emma. She just needs a little help and she will be fine.” He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say because he didn’t know why her dad was there but he felt like he had to say something. “Yes. Emma is not crazy. She is everything but crazy. I love her so much, and even though her being here allows me to see her quite often, I would rather her not be here. Emma I hope you understand. This is a crazy people’s hospital. That would be why I am here.” “No, you’re not crazy. You just need help like me.” Just then a doctor came in and told Shane he had to leave. “Bye Emma.” He gave her a hug before he started walking towards the door. “Bye dad.” She was shocked at herself. She hadn’t called him dad before. Shane was walking and then he remembered he forgot to say by to the mysterious person Emma was with. He turned around and said, “Bye?” to Sean. “My name is Sean.” “Well bye Sean. Be good to Emma. She might mean the world to you but she means more to me.” With that said he left.

Sean and Emma

“Well that was interesting. Emma I am sorry. I thought he was a doctor. I mean, that’s what you kept saying to me when you asked me to go see him with you.” Sean’s tone of voice was low and it almost sounded like he was sad. Emma didn’t say anything for a while, but then she spoke up. “Sean, I was so embarrassed. Now do you see why I wanted you to leave?” “No Emma, I don’t see why you wanted me to leave. He seems really nice and from the looks of it he knows more about me than I know about him. What exactly did you two talk about the last time you saw him because he seems to think you mean the world to me.” He realized how bad that last sentence came out and was ready to say he didn’t mean it but it was too late. “So I don’t mean the world to you? I mean I don’t expect to be or anything because of our past but you just made it sound like I am some girl that doesn’t really mean anything to you.” She was mad now. “No. Emma, that’s not what I meant. It didn’t come out right. It’s just; I am surprised that’s all. I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend, I don’t get the best grades, and I have a bad temper that I can’t control, but you made it seem like I was this great perfect person who never did anything wrong. Everything I do is wrong and in one way or another you get hurt Emma.  You said so yourself. I am the reason why you are here. I can’t be around you, if you are going to end up hurting yourself and end up in this, this-“ He was cut off by Emma. “Go on Sean, say it. I will end up in a crazy hospital. Everyone seems to think I am crazy these days. But tell me this Sean…” She was crying by this point. “Tell you what Emma?” “You can’t or won’t be around me?” The room was quiet for a minute or two before he answered. “Uh, Emma you know I love you but-“ “No Sean. I don’t know. If you loved me you would be around me every chance you got. I don’t care what I told you before about me being here. You are part of the reason, but it wasn’t because you were around me. Whenever you weren’t around me I felt lifeless and nothing mattered to me anymore. The only way I could feel a live again was to hurt myself.” “No Emma. You are not doing this to me. You are the reason we broke up last time. You never had time for me remember?” “I’m not doing anything to you. You are being so selfish. I know I didn’t have time for you but we at least got to see each other at school. I had to baby sit my brother because we didn’t have enough money to pay for one and my dad was sick with cancer. You didn’t just expect me to stop everything I was doing to be with you did you?” Sean didn’t answer. You could tell he was trying to talk because his mouth was moving, but nothing came out. “Sean?” “Uh, I need to go.” He didn’t know what to say to her so he just left. “Sean, you can’t just leave. I need you. I don’t care about what I said. I love you. My life is worthless without you. Please, Sean come back.” Emma was hysterical. She was screaming so loud that the people four rooms down could hear her. Doctors immediately came running in and tried to calm her down.

Sean’s Thoughts

He heard everything Emma said when she was yelling at him. He didn’t know what to do. He needed time to think things through. If he wasn’t around Emma then she would end up hurting herself. Then again, he was around her before and look where she ended up. Maybe she was just telling him that she needed him so she wouldn’t be lonely. This is so hard he thought to himself.

Chapter Twenty

Emma, Doctor, and Sean

Emma was lying on her bed strapped down and she was given a shot so she was high on pain killers. The doctor came in. "Oh hello Emma. How are we feeling today?" "I need these straps off. I’m not a crazy person." "Yes I know. Here, let me help you." The doctor unstrapped the straps and she got up and suddenly her head hurt like hell and she had to lay back down on her bed. "Yeah that'll happen. Ha ha." Emma had to grab a hold of her head to keep from screaming from the pain. "What the hell is this?!" The doctor smiled and kind of laughed. "It’s the pain medication wear off." "What’s the point of it?" "It makes people not freak out so they won’t be here as long as they have too. It helps." "It doesn’t feel like it helps." "Well it does." Emma fell on the ground which was cold and she thought she was dying. It hurt that much. Just then Sean came in the room and looked at Emma on the ground. She didn’t even notice him. "What’s wrong with her?" "Don’t worry. She’s fine. I gave her medicine yesterday and she's having the side-effects to it." The doctor then left, after looking at Sean and Emma and smirking. "Emma, are you ok?" Sean said kneeling next to her holding her head above the ground. "Kill me." "Oh my god. Danm it.” Sean got up and ran to the hallway to get some doctors.

 Emma and Sean

Emma woke up in a bed and saw she wasn’t in the hospital anymore. She got up and she walked out the door. She walked into what looks like Sean’s house. She saw Sean walking around. "Emma, hey." "Hey, um why am I not at the hospital?" "You had a concussion. And they couldn’t get to you in time. So you are here. And you need to go back in about a few hours or so." "Great." "Emma can I talk to you?” Emma sat next to Sean. "What’s up?" Emma said looking next to Sean. "Emma I love you and I don’t think I should have said the things I said before. I am going to be there for you now since your parents wont and-" "Wait." Emma interrupted. "My parents won’t?" Sean looked at Emma with his blue green eyes that sunk right through her and she looked back at them this time without dodging them like she normally does. "They didn’t talk to you?" "No. What did they say?" Sean got up and walked off of the couch and into the living room. He stood looking at the table and Emma walked behind him. "What did they say to you Sean?" "They said that they uh they can’t really..." "Can’t what?" "They can’t take care of you anymore. They put all their money into you going into that hospital that if they waste anymore then they'll go broke and they don’t want that to happen." "So what? They are kicking me out?" "I don’t know they haven’t answered my calls or anything." Emma sat back down on the couch and she thought she was going to cry. But nothing came out. Not even one drop of a tear. She wiped her eyes anyway, and Sean sat next to her. "I’m sorry." Sean said not even looking at her. "Why? It’s not your fault." "I know." For a moment they just sat there in silence. Emma had no where to go anymore after she gets home from the hospital. Wait, what if nobody gets her out? What if she has to stay there forever? Can she at least still go to school, probably not? "Sean I have no where to go. I’m going to have to stay there forever." "No you won’t." "Yes I will." "When you get out you are moving in with me." Sean said looking on the ground. Emma looked at him. Sean felt the same way Emma felt when Sean looked at her. He didn’t like the way Emma's hard rock mocha eyes burned into him. Making him say everything that was on his mind and everything he thought about her. "What?" "I talked to your parents, well my parents talked to your parents and uh my parents are going to get you out when they think you have improved or whatever and then you are going to stay here with me." Emma kind of just sat there and looked down at the ground; she dodged his eyes from hers. Which Sean didn’t like at the moment. "Emma look at me.” Emma looked up at the corner of her eyes and saw Sean was smiling. "Move in with me?" Emma smiled back and said "Do I have a choice?" Sean quickly kissed her cheek and sat up. Emma felt her cheek and wanted more. She thought that would have been a great time to kiss him back. Then all the sudden her thoughts went to Jay. He hasn’t even come visited her at the hospital, although she didn’t blame him. All Emma thinks about while she's there is she’s a nut case and a loon. Whatever people called it, just because she hurts herself. She never understood that.

Emma and Jay

Emma finally got back to the hospital and moved in her bed. The same thoughts were going through her mind as the last time when she sat in this bed. Telling herself how crazy she is, everything like that. Just when she was about to fall asleep she heard a knocking on the door. She looked up and said the words "Come in." She couldnt believe what she saw. Jay. He was standing there leaning against the wood. Emma all of a sudden felt joy and happiness which confused her. She needed Sean not Jay. "Hey Jason." Was all she could get out. She kind of smiled because he knew he was going to call her a name back like he always does. "Hey Green Peace. What’s cracking?" Jay never even looked at her. He just looked straight at the wall. "Why aren’t you looking at me Jay?" Emma saw Jay wipe something off of his face and try to look at her.  "Uh..." He looked back at the wall but more towards the ground. "I can’t look at you Em." "Why?" "Because I’m not so sure." "Why didn’t you come see me before?" Emma saw Jay wipe a few more things off his face, which she now realized were tears. Jay looked casual as normal. He had his backwards hat on, black cotton zip up hoody along with a white shirt, and he had baggy jeans on. Emma was glad he came today because since she was at Sean's she fixed herself up and she looked better then the day before then. Jay looked at Emma and more tears fell from his eyes. He dropped the backpack he was holding and walked over to Emma and hugged her crying. She hugged him back. Finally when he let go he looked in her eyes and kept crying. "What happened Emma? Why did you do this to yourself?" "Jay…" He hugged her tightly and cried. He never wanted to let her go.

Spike, Emma, and Jay

The next morning Emma woke up and Jay was sleeping next to her on her bed. She smiled at him and closed her eyes. She hated mornings because there was nothing to do besides sleep until somebody told her to get up. Jay opened his eyes when Emma shut them. Jay got out of bed and put on his shoes and Emma opened her eyes and looked at Jay. "Hey." She said. Jay, startled, looked back. "Oh hey Em, you scared me." "Sorry." "So Blondie, did you sleep well?" "Not really. You?" "No." "Yeah these beds suck." "Tell me about it." Jay got his shoes on and looked at his cell phone. "School is going to start in about 15 minutes. I should go, but I can skip if you want me too?" "No, you should go." "Thanks." Jay said sarcastically. Emma laughed and he rubbed her head. "Later Green Peace." "Bye Jay." Jay was halfway through the door until Emma called back "Hey Jay." Jay ran back into the room "What’s wrong?" "Are you going to come back?" Jay smiled, mostly because the worrying ness was gone. "Of course. I'll come back today after school. Are you sure you don’t want me to skip? It’s just one day. No problem." "I’m sure. You need to get to school." "Okay see ya Em." "Later" Jay finally left and Emma laid on her bed looking up smiling. Good thing she wanted Jay to leave, because her mom came in next. "Emma." Emma looked up and there stood her mom. Emma's smile turned into a frown and she laid back on her bed. "What do you want Spike?" "Emma I’m sorry. What can I say? I paid all the money I had to get you into this place."  "So you basically paid people to call me crazy?" "No Em-" "No um see it sounds like you gave all your money away for me to be in here getting bad medicine that doesn’t even work, getting strapped on a chair for no reason, and being bored, alone in a hospital, and when I finally get to come home, I have no home." "I’m leaving Snake." "What?" Emma looked up at her mom. "Yeah I don’t have enough money for him. I can take care of me and you. Not him." "But you love him." "I do but not as much as I love you." "You can’t do that mom." "I talked to him already. We are just going to move out into an apartment. If we stay there and give Snake the house we'll have enough money to go shopping everyday." Emma smiled at this. She needed more clothes. So did her mom. She had to wear these stupid huge white shirts that were made out of some paper/cloth material. But she wore her jeans there. She couldn’t wait to go home and take a nice shower. "But I mean-" "You mean what? Look. Snake understands. And we are going to stay married. But just live differently. Emma you’re my world. Jack is going to stay with him. Guys and guys and girls and girls.” "Are you sure? I thought I was supposed-" "To stay with Sean?" Spike crawled on her bed and sat next to her. "Yeah, well would you rather stay with him?" Emma looked at Spike and Spike was smiling. "He is cute Emma." "Mom." "And he cares about you." "Mom shut up." they were laughing by now.

Emma's Thoughts

 I have to choose between my mom and my first love. What about Jay? I didn’t know he cared about me that much. I mean I know we have a history together, but I mean. Wow. I didn’t know he cared about me. Sean loves me. But so does my mom. Maybe Sean could live ya know? But my mom had me more. I’m so confused. What is Sean going to say after I tell him? I love him oh so much. What do I do?

Twenty One

Emma and Sean

Emma ran on the side of the street hoping to get to Sean's house before school started. She ran up to his door and knocked the door like crazy. "Sean! Sean! Open up!" Emma heard some rustling in the background and saw Sean getting out of his room. "Okay hold on." Sean said, not noticing Emma was there. Sean even looked casual in his sleep. He was wearing a grey T-shirt and jean cut-off's. And since his hair was longer, it was kind of messed up. Sean opened the door and his jaw dropped. He immediately put her in his house and started getting his jacket on. "Emma are you okay? Why aren’t you at the hospital?" He asked while she sat on his couch as calm as she could be. "I’m fine and I left the hospital." Sean stopped getting his shoes on and looked over at Emma. She couldn’t have left the hospital because she was wearing the big white shirt, with her arm wraps, and her jeans. But she had her tennis shoes on. Sean took his shoes off and looked the other way sitting next to her. He took a big sigh. "What did you escape or something?" He said jokingly. Emma on the other hand didn’t have the smile on her face as Sean did on his. "I had to get out of there." Emma said. "Well why did you come here then?" "Because I was just letting you know my mom and I are moving." Sean stood up and looked down on Emma. "What? No you are not you are staying here!" "Sean I can’t. My mom put off her marriage with Snake to be alone with me." "Emma no, I love you." "I love you to but I can’t.” Sean looked down at her and realized she was right. He walked out of the room and into his own. Emma sat there and thought she was going to cry. She couldn’t believe what she just did.

Emma

Emma walked back into the hospital and into her room. She saw all these doctors around her room marking papers and everything. She walked over to them. "What’s wrong?" The doctor flinched when she talked. "Emma where were you? You can’t just leave this place. I don’t even know how you got out." "I walked through the front door." "Okay, well that’s not the point. The point is you just can’t leave. Now we are going to have to do all these tests just to make sure you are okay." "Doctor Williams I’m fine. I was gone for ten minutes, maybe even less. And I was just down the street. I shouldn’t even be in here. You know that." "Okay fine, no tests. But promise you won’t leave?" "Okay I promise." The Doctor smiled at her and walked out of the room. Emma grabbed the cell phone out of her jean pockets that she grabbed over at Sean's house (which he gave her) and called her mom. "Hello?" "Mom hey it’s Emma." "Emma hey. How did you call me?" "I got a cell phone um I can’t stay here anymore mom." "Honey." "You know I can’t. I’m not crazy and I need to get out of here." "Emma it’s not that easy. I have to go through a bunch of papers and it’ll take a few days to get you out." "Well then work on it. We are moving remember?" There was a silence in the background. "You are coming?" Spike suddenly said. "Of course I am. I wouldn’t leave you." Right after she said that Emma realized how mean it sounded. I wouldn’t leave you, like her mom left her? "Sweetie I’m so sorry. You don’t belong there." Emma put out a sigh of relief and her mom and she talked it out. They decided if Emma would stay there for two more days then Spike would get her out.

Sean

Sean walked through Emma's door the next day and saw Emma drawing something. "Knock knock." Sean said. "Hey." Emma said with a bunch of glee. "So Em did you call your mom?" "Yeah I did." "And what’s happening?" "We are moving in about a day." Sean took a big breath and sat on the end of the bed looking at the ground. "Emma I was thinking, if you won’t live with me then get a house next to mine so we can still be together." "Sean I might still be going to Degrassi." "I know but I mean still just in case. I can talk to your mom." "Sean." Sean just then got the hint. He didn’t say anything else. He walked over to her and kissed her lips with the longest romantic kiss they ever had. Sean didn’t even look at her after the kiss was over. I guess it was a goodbye kiss? Something like that. But he just walked out of the room and left her there.

Emma and Spike

Two days later Spike came to pick Emma up. They were sitting in the park looking through newspaper ads for new homes. "Hey this is nice; two bedrooms, one floor, hard wood floors, and three bathrooms. There is tile in kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry room. What do you think of that Em?" Emma looked over at Spike. "Yeah that’s nice." "It’s probably the best affordable one we can get. We can check it out t-" "Where is it?" "What?" "Where is it? Like, Toronto? Near Degrassi?" Spike looked down on the ground and back up. "I love it here. It’s where I was born. You were. I never want to leave but we have too." "Can’t we stay?" "No, we have to go away from everything. It'll help us both." "You mean it will help me stop hurting myself, when you know it won’t." "Emma, sweetie, please." "Please what?" "Calm down. I’m trying to help but you won’t let me." Emma threw the newspaper on the ground and ran back up to Sean’s house as fast as she could. Spike thought she would be at Snakes so she didn’t worry.

Emma and Sean

Emma ran through Sean’s house sobbing. "Sean! Sean!” Sean ran out of his room and saw Emma crying. "Emma what’s wrong?" "I have to leave now. I don’t want too." Sean looked around the room and back down at Emma. He sat on the floor with her. "Then we have to leave together." "When?" "Right now. Where do u want to go?" "I I don’t know." "Then we'll just go. I have all this extra money from my job. We can go." "What about our stuff?" "I don’t own anything and screw your stuff. I'll buy you knew stuff." "Are you serious?" Emma had a big smile on her face. She continued. "Sean just leave? We just leave? Right now? Not getting anything else?" "No we go. We leave." Sean now was smiling. "Are you serious?" "Leave. Lets go." Emma stood up and so did Sean. They both raced out of his house holding hands. They went in his truck. They got in and sat down. "Wait." Sean said. "What is it?" "Your medicine?" "It’s in my purse." "Your shots and everything?" "Yeah."

Sean’s Thoughts

Emma needs to get better. I know she will with me here. I just don’t want her to have a big attack while were down here and me not having anything to do. If that happens that would suck big time. I don’t know what I would do.

Twenty Two

Sean and Emma

They sat in silence for the first ten minutes or so. Then Emma broke the silence. “Sean, where are we going?” Sean thought for a moment then answered. “Alberta. We can visit Tracker. He likes you enough to let you and I both stay with him for a while and I haven’t seen him in a long time.” Emma just smiled and nodded. Throughout the whole ride there they just talked about random things. For instance, Emma always brought up their past which made Sean a little mad but then he realized it was in a way a good thing because it only made them stronger.

Sean, Tracker, and Emma

Sean walked up to his apartment and knocked. Tracker opened the door. “Sean, Emma, how are you guys?” He said motioning them to come inside and gave them both a huge. “We are doing fine but we were wondering if we could crash here for a few days.” Sean said hoping his older brother would help them out. “Okay sure. As long as you don’t trash the place or something and as long as you to don’t you know…” Tracker gave Sean a wink and Emma knew what he was talking about which is why she blushed. Emma looked around Tracker’s apartment. It was nicer than their old one. “Tracker you are the best. Thank you so much for letting us stay here.” Emma said. “Well it’s my pleasure Emma.” Sean looked at Emma. She looked a little pale. “Emma are you feeling okay? You look a little pale.” “I’m fine Sean. Don’t…” She was just about to speak when she collapsed. Tracker called 911 and he and Sean went to the hospital with Emma.

Tracker and Sean

“Sean what happened? Is there something you are not telling me? You need to call her parents.” Sean gave him a look but then got up and went to the front desk. As much as this was going to ruin everything he knew he had to call her parents. What if she was really hurt this time or even worse.

Spike and Sean

“Hello?” Spike answered. “Spike it’s Sean. I uh I know you didn’t want me and Emma to run off or whatever but you need to come to Alberta quick.” “Sean what’s wrong? Is Emma okay?” “No. She collapsed. She is in the hospital now but I wanted to tell you. The doctors wanted to see her parents so I called you. I am so sorry.” “No Sean it’s fine but we are going to have a chat when I get down there. But I will be there as soon as I can.”

Spike, Tracker, and Sean

“Sean where is she?” “She’s in room 429 but they won’t let anyone go see her.” Just then Tracker came into the lobby where they were waiting. “Mrs. Cameron I just saw the doctor, he said he wants to go see you. Just go to the front desk and ask for Mr. Dickson.” She nodded and walked over. Then she went back over to Sean and Tracker. “What did they say?” Sean asked. “She is going to be fine but Sean I can’t believe you would do this. Now I know you aren’t the most responsible kid but this is common sense. Sean you don’t take any patient away from their home while they are on medicine. Something like this could and did happen. You should know better than to just take her away. She needs to still see the doctors to make sure she is alright.” Spike yelled. Sean just stood there and so did Tracker. “Spike I am sorry. I didn’t know this would happen. I was crazy about this whole idea and I’m just a stupid kid. I love your daughter and I would do anything for her. If I had known this was going to happen I wouldn’t have taken her. Sure she would hate me for it but it’s better then her being in a hospital again.” Tracker and Spike just stood there. “Sean I think you should go.” Tracker said. “What? No. Why?” Sean said angrily. “Sean just leave. Come back in a few hours. Just go back to my apartment and think about some of the stuff you pulled today and then bring Emma and your things back with you.” Sean couldn’t believe it. His own brother wasn’t going to stick by his side. He knew it was his fault that she was in the hospital but he didn’t need two other people blaming him as well. “Sean leave now. We will talk about this later.” Tracker yelled. Sean didn’t know why he had to leave though.

Spike and Tracker

“Tracker you didn’t have to make him leave. I shouldn’t have blown up at him like that.” “No it was fine. But he needs to think about this. Something worse could have happened. And if they didn’t stop to visit me they could have been on the highway when this happened. That would have been worse. When she gets out she is going back with you and Sean can go back too. But he is going back a while later. I am going to bring him to our parent’s house. I know he will hate it but maybe some time apart from Emma will make him realize that he can’t pull stunts like this. I hope you don’t mind.” Spike just stood there. “I don’t care either way. I understand he loves Emma and she loves him but I do agree that he can’t pull stunts like this. But neither can Emma. If you think some time apart will be good then so be it. It is just going to be hard telling them that.”

Twenty Three

Emma and Spike

Spike didn’t know how to tell Emma she couldn’t see Sean anymore because she knew how much Emma loved him. Emma was throwing the biggest fit after Spike told her. "What?” Emma screamed. "Honey, it’s for the best." "How?" Emma was racing around the room scared to even talk back but she knew she couldn’t live without Sean there. "This way nothing like this will ever happen again." "Mom, you don’t understand!" Emma started to get tears in her eyes. Emma tried to continue "If I lose Sean, I might as well just die!" Emma couldn’t even sit down she knew she would sit back up crying again. "Oh Em you don’t get it." "No you don’t get it mom!" Emma ran out of the house crying. She didn’t know where she was going to go or where to find him. But he had to be around somewhere but she had to talk to him.

Sean and Tracker

Tracker tried to get Sean to sit down so he could talk to him. He wasn’t scared to tell Sean even though he knew his temper grew easily. But Tracker and Emma were the only two people in the world that knew how to tame it. Sean sat down next to him kind of confused, but listened. "Sean me and Christine have been talking and..." Sean started to get even more confused. But he knew it had something with him and Emma. Either that or some flare was sparking up between Tracker and Spike. "Continue." Sean said after a long pause from his older brother. "You are on restriction" was the only thing he got out of his mouth. Sean's eyes went big but he couldn’t help but put on a smile from relief. "From what?" Tracker took a deep breath in and opened his eyes. "From Emma." Sean started to feel confused and sad at the same time. From the start of the news he never had enough time to think about it. So all he was thinking about was what a shocker this was. A few more seconds past in silence and Sean understood everything, and felt so alone and angry he was ready to beat up the next guy who passed him. Sean got up and threw a chair against the wall. "Sean what the hell." Sean tore the chair apart, piece by piece. This was the only time Tracker, alone, could not control him. Sean opened the door and slammed it shut. He ran down the street looking for the only person who could understand him. Emma.

Emma and Sean

Emma was walking down the street sobbing, when she bumped into somebody. "Oh sorry." She looked up and Sean was standing there. She jumped up and hugged him. He was holding onto her so tight. It was like the world was ending. As soon as he saw her the tears started coming to his eyes. Emma started crying in his shoulder, and Sean was trying to hold it in. "Sean my mom-" "I know. Shh. It’s ok." "No its not! Sean I need you." "We're not going to let them do this. It’s not their choice so screw them." Emma couldn’t say anything else besides tears. She was crying and crying and Sean had a tough time just holding it in. "Emma if this doesn’t work out I’m sorry." "If what doesn’t work out?" "Us. I’m sorry." "What are you saying?" Sean didn’t know what he was saying. He knew Emma was the best thing that ever happened to him. But he knew they couldn’t stay together forever. It would be impossible. Emma is so smart; she would go to college somewhere. And Sean would be here working on cars while he’s in Community College for being a mechanic. Things he loves to do. "Emma we can’t stay together." Emma's tears stopped for awhile, while they looked at each other. "What?" Was all she could get out. "It’s impossible. We're going to college soon and we'll never see each other again most likely." Sean couldn’t hold it in any longer he started crying right there in front of Emma. Emma wasn’t as sad as she was before when she was crying, because she thought Sean was the only one who understood and they would be together. But Sean was trying to make a point, and do the right thing. "Sean..." Emma started to back up a little. "No Emma-" "Why...why would...just..." Emma started crying while she was walking backwards. "Emma please. Come back." "Sean I need you. It’s…I…I…Why?" "No Emma I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please." Sean all the sudden regretted everything he said. He realized he probably needed Emma as much as she needed him. "Emma please, I don’t mean it." Emma turned around and ran home. Sean tried to run after her. "Emma!" Emma kept running and running. "Emma please stop!" Turns out Emma wasn’t wearing any shoes and she fell down. Sean went up to her and picked her up and Emma was crying still. "Are you ok?" Emma grabbed onto him again and kissed him, and ran off. Sean screamed back at her "Emma. Come back!" No response. "What was the kiss for?” "Think of it as a goodbye kiss!" Emma screamed back sobbing. Sean looked at her slowly disappear down the street and wiped a tear from his eyes and turned around and walked home.

Emma

As soon as Emma got home she slammed the door shut and fell to her knees. She screamed in tears so loud the whole neighborhood could probably hear her. "Emma, oh my God what’s wrong?" Spike tried to hug her and pick her up but Emma pushed her off. Emma stood up and kicked the door so hard a hole punched through it. Emma ran downstairs and locked her bedroom door. She went into her nightstand next to her bed and opened it so fast the drawer flew out. She, unsteadily, grabbed her razors, knifes, and scissors, everything that she cut with. She owned about twelve different things of everything she used to cut. She grabbed them all and went into her bathroom, and locked the door. She took the first razor and went over her arm and fast and deep as she could. She took the knife and went over that one, then the scissors and cut as deep as she could over that one. She fell to her knees and blood was everywhere. It was almost two inches of the wall in the corner of the room, where she was keeping her arm. Then she grabbed her sharpest razor she owned and cut her wrist, she grabbed the knife and repeated, and so on with the scissors. Emma didn’t feel anything after a while but started to feel a tingly feeling in her wrists instead of the calming feeling. The tingly feeling started to turn into a sharp pain, and Emma closed her eyes and sat there waiting for whatever will come.

Sean

Sean walked into his room crying, though not worrying. He knew Emma would act like this. And he thought Emma would be okay. But he put his jacket on his desk and lay on his bed. The second he opened his eyes the phone rang and sunlight burst through his window. His eyes felt crispy and hard, from crying as much as he did the other night. But he leaned over and grabbed the phone. "What?" He said. He wasn’t in that great of a mood considering he just woke up and what happened with Emma. "Sean it’s Christine." "Oh hi Ms. Nelson." "Something terrible happened, you need to come down to the hospital right now" "What’s wrong?" "Emma she had an accident." Sean hung up the phone and ran out the door.

Emma and Sean

Emma was in so much pain. Her wrists were so cut open they felt like they were going to fall off.  Emma sat there in pain, but didn’t show it. Her mom left, and so did her dad. Nobody was there but her. Sean ran inside and saw Emma. He dropped to his knees when he saw her. "Oh my God Em." Emma didn’t say anything back. She sat there looking at him. "What happened?" He said while crying. Emma looked at him. "I cut myself again." Sean looked at her wrists and saw how much wrapping was around them and saw blood still coming up from it. "Emma why? Why would you do something like this?" Emma looked around and just closed her eyes. “Because I have no reason to stay alive anymore." "Yes you do baby. Yes you do. Em I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry." Emma laid there with her eyes shut. Sean remembered something he learned in school, something in health about the wrists. And he realized Emma wouldn’t survive. She had a few more hours and she would be gone. When you cut that deep on the side of your wrist like that, your veins get cut open and soon the blood will leave your system and you won’t have enough to survive. Sean looked at Emma and layer next to her. "Emma." "Yeah?" "I love you." "I love you too." "Are you sure?" "I’m positive." "You said you had nothing to live for though." "Because I couldn’t see you anymore." "Oh." Emma kissed Sean’s cheek "Emma, I’m going to miss you." She laid her head on his shoulder. "I love you Sean." "I love you too."