SLH One to Five

Chapter One

Ever since Sean came back, he and Emma were Degrassi’s cutest couple. Things were going great for them. For once their relationship lasted more than a few months and they didn’t fight like the used too. Actually, they rarely fought at all, and if they did it was over stupid things and within an hour they would make up. Sean was still friends with Jay and that crew but he was also friends with Jimmy, Marco, Craig, and now Spinner. Emma was friends with everyone she used to be friends with and then some. Even Paige and her crew were becoming good friends with Emma. You would think that Sean and Emma had that perfect life everyone only dreams about, great boyfriend/girlfriend, and great friends. Nothing seemed to go wrong for them. Or so everyone thought. Sean was secretly hiding something that could ruin his relationship with Emma if she ever found out.

Sex was a big deal to Emma and Sean. Sean wanted it and Emma wasn’t ready. Since Sean couldn’t get it from her he got it from other people. The first time happened by accident though. He was drunk and so was the girl he did it with. Sean didn’t mean to do it but he figured that if he could get it from whoever he wanted then he might as well. All of his partners were sworn to secrecy. None of them spoke of what went on to anyone. This had been going on for months until someone found out. Manny invited Emma to a party she heard people talk about but Emma was sick so she couldn’t go. Manny went alone looking for some hot guys. She was talking to one when someone caught her attention. And no it was not Craig. She was way over him. Manny told the guy she was talking to, to wait there, and then she walked over to who had caught her attention. It was Sean and some random girl. They were all over each other and before Manny could blink, the girl and Sean went upstairs and walked right past her. Sean must not have seen her, but Manny knew what was going to happen. You don’t bring someone upstairs just to talk. You bring them upstairs to have sex. The first thing Manny did was call Emma but she wouldn’t pick up her phone.

It was now Monday and Manny had forgotten about what she had seen at the part, that is until she saw Sean. She walked up to him and just gave him the dirtiest stare she could. Sean looked confused.

“Sean I saw you at the party Friday night. Funny thing though, you weren’t with Emma.” Sean’s eyes widened. He didn’t think anyone would see him. He decided to play it cool. “I don’t know what you are talking about Manny.” “Really? Well I just so happen to have seen you go upstairs with some random girl that night. You go upstairs for hookups, mostly one night stands. Sean I can’t believe you would do that to Emma. She loves you.” “I know she does and I love her too.” “No Sean, I don’t think you do because if you loved her you wouldn’t be having sex with random people you meet at parties.” “Manny you don’t understand. I love Emma, I really do it’s just…” “It’s just what Sean? Since she isn’t ready and you are you think you can go screw every hot girl you meet? Well keep screwing around with Emma and making her think you love her and I will tell her what I saw.” Then Manny walked away, just giving Sean another mean stare.

Sean knew he was in trouble. He loved Emma, he really did. He didn’t understand why he was doing what he was doing, he just did it. If Emma found out she would hate him for sure and he couldn’t live with that. He picked up the phone and called Emma.

“Hello?” “Emma? What’s wrong? You sound like you have been crying.” Uh oh, Manny didn’t tell her, did she? “Nothing is wrong. I am fine. Why?” “You sound like you were or still are crying.” “Oh, no I am just tired and I still am a little sick from last week. Anyway, Manny said she saw you at that party Friday night.” Damn it. Manny did tell her. “Uh yeah, about that I can explain really.” “Explain what Sean?” “Well you see, I uh…” “Sean you can go to a party without me. It’s fine. I was sick but I am getting better so this Friday it’s me, you, and a party. Oh and maybe a little surprise I need to talk to you about.” Sean was so relieved. Manny didn’t tell her after all. “Okay. Are you coming back to school tomorrow? I missed you.” “Aw I missed you too. Um I think I am. Manny told me she had to tell me something really important that she couldn’t do over the phone or IM so I guess I have to.” “Do you know what she has to talk to you about?” “Um no but why do you ask? It’s not really any of your business,” she snapped. “Sorry,” Sean said. “Oh, no Sean, I didn’t mean it in a mean way. Listen, I need to go. I will see you tomorrow. Love you.” Sean didn’t know what to say. He loved her of course but it didn’t seem right to say. All he could manage to get out before hanging up was “Same.”

The next day at school Sean saw Manny and walked up to her. “Hey Manny.” She looked at Sean disgusted. “Sean.” “Manny are you going to tell her? I promise I won’t do it again?” Before Manny could speak Emma interrupted. “Sean, won’t do what again? Is there something you two aren’t telling me?” She looked at Sean and then Manny. “No, there is nothing we aren’t telling you. I just saw Sean at the party Friday night and he had a drink. It’s not that big of a deal but we all know what Sean is like when he has a few too many to drink.” Then Manny walked away yet again giving Sean an evil stare. Emma just stood there. “Sean, for some reason I don’t like that’s what she needed to tell me. What’s going on? I need to know. I am your girlfriend you know.” “Nothing is going on. Look I need to get to class. I will talk to you later.”

Chapter Two

Emma was confused and a little angry. Sean didn’t say ‘I love you’ the other night and now he was trying to avoid her. The only time he wouldn’t avoid her was when she was talking to Manny. Maybe Manny and Sean were… No she thought. But just to make sure she was going to ask.

“Manny wait up, I need to ask you something.” “Okay what is it Em?” “Well Sean has been avoiding me all day except for when I am around you. Actually, he is coming over here right now. What’s going on with you two? You and he aren’t…” “Ha. God no. Em I would never do that to you. Besides, Sean isn’t my type. But if you want to know why don’t you ask him?” Sean came over just as she finished talking. “Sean I think we should talk. Manny could you give us a minute?” Without saying anything Manny walked away. “Em, what do we need to talk about?” “Well you keep avoiding me.” “No, I’m not right now am I?” “Uh that’s because I was with Manny. Whenever I am with her you walk over here. Something is wrong with that. Manny is my best friend and I know she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me but you…” “Emma, are you implying that I would hurt you?” Sean said kind of angry. “No, not at all. It’s just you only come over to me when she is with me. It’s like she knows something that she wants to tell me that has to do with you, but you come over to me so she won’t tell me.” Sean had a look of guilt on his face. “Sean? Are you cheating on me?” There it was. The big question. He didn’t know how to answer that. Of course he was but he couldn’t tell her that. That for sure would hurt her. “No. Never in a million years would I cheat on you. I love you too much to do that.” “Okay good because I wanted to tell you something. That party Friday night, well I’m ready.” Then she kissed him and walked away. Sean had a huge smile on his face but then it quickly faded into guilt.

Why was he feeling guilty? Maybe because he was cheating on his girlfriend who he loved so much, with a bunch of girls by having sex with them because Emma wouldn’t. Sean thought for a moment and then realized he had to tell Emma even though it would ruin everything. He had sex with other girls because he couldn’t wait. It wasn’t fair to her. He messed up again and this time he knew she wouldn’t be able to forgive him.

It was Friday, the night of the party. Sean had yet to tell Emma. He was about to but then chickened out. He loved her so much and he knew he screwed up big time. Sean was leaning up against his locker when Manny came over to him.

“So Sean, I hear Emma and you are going to do it tonight at the party. I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell her. She is my best friend and she will hate me just as much as you if she finds out that I have been keeping this a secret. I’m going to go tell her right now.” “Manny don’t please.” “Why Sean? Because you are finally going to get what you want from the person you want it from?” “Well yes and no. Look, I tried telling her but I just couldn’t. I hurt her really bad before and I don’t think she will forgive me if she finds out about this.” “No kidding she won’t and I wouldn’t blame her. Who the hell would forgive their boyfriend for having sex with god knows how many girls because he couldn’t wait for his girlfriend to be ready?” Manny stood there waiting for Sean to say something but he didn’t, at least not in words. His face could tell you everything he was feeling. He looked upset, angry, worthless, and what surprised Manny the most was that his eyes were starting to glisten. “Sean?” Manny was concerned now. Sean was so good to Emma when he was with her but when he wasn’t he was off having sex with other people. If you saw his face you wouldn’t think that at all. It was as if you just told him really bad news about Emma. “Sean?” Manny said once again. “No Manny. Just go away. Go tell Emma. You said you were going to and if you want to ruin my life then go right ahead.” He was really mad and upset. He knew someone had to tell Emma and he knew it had to be today and that’s why he was angry. Emma and Sean were supposed to do it tonight at a party and Emma finding out would ruin it all. He was sad because Emma would get hurt yet again by him and he hated when he hurt her. “Sean, I know you love her and that’s why I am going to do this.” He looked confused. “Do what?” “I will let you tell her, but on one condition.” “Okay what?” “You do it before the party. Don’t wait till after you get some from her.” He didn’t answer for a minute. “Alright, but what am I supposed to say to her? Emma I love you and everything but when you said you weren’t ready I got kind of mad and went out and got drunk. In the process I ended up sleeping with some random girl and from then on I have been doing it every so often. I just couldn’t wait and I am sorry. I know you will never forgive me and I deserve whatever I have coming…” he stopped. “Sean, why did you stop? You were actually getting somewhere with that.” Then Manny looked at Sean. He was crying. She was still confused until she turned around. She gasped and took a step back when she saw what she saw.

Chapter Three

Manny couldn’t believe her eyes. Did Emma hear what she and Sean were talking about or did she have feelings for Jay? Whatever it was it was really hurting Sean. He just doesn’t cry over a girl even if she is making out with his best friend.

“Emma what the fuck are you doing?” Emma stopped kissing Jay but he was moving his hands up and down her back and then to her butt. “I’m not doing anything.” “Really? Well making out with Jay qualifies as something to me.” “Well having sex with god knows how many people because I wasn’t ready also qualifies then.” Manny’s mouth dropped. “Manny don’t worry, I’m not exactly pissed at you. I know you should have told me but you thought it would be better if I heard it from Sean and you were right. And I thank you for that. Now you may think what I am doing is wrong and for all I know it is but so is having sex with other people while you have a girlfriend.” When she said that, she looked right at Sean and gave him a cold stare. He was still crying a little bit too. “Come on Jay, I don’t need this right now and you are the only one who can make me feel better.” Then she and Jay walked down the hall making out and not stopping. She hated making out in public, at least she hated to do that with Sean. Emma has changed so much Sean thought. Or maybe she is trying to get back at me. Who knows?

Manny walked back over to Sean. “Uh Sean, I am so sorry. She shouldn’t have done that. You don’t deserve that. Well you did but he is your best friend and that kind of sucks.” “Kind of? Manny it really sucks. She is never going to forgive me which I didn’t expect but she doesn’t need to go making out with my best friend down the hall in public. She hated making out with me in public.” Manny stood there thinking for a moment. “Sean I have a plan but you can’t go to the party tonight.” “Why not? She wants to break my heart and stomp it into a million pieces then I should be able to do it right back. Manny, you are her best friend…” Her eyes widened. “Sean no way. I am not going to make out with you to get back at Emma. That’s too evil. Just don’t go to the party. Come over to my house or something and we can talk. We can make a plan for you to get her back. I know what you did was wrong by a lot and what she did to you isn’t as bad, not nearly as bad but it still sucks. I know you love her a lot and I know she loves you too. This is just her way of hiding how upset she is. All those other times you hurt her she didn’t hide it which made you see that you did hurt her and can again if you want too. Now she is hiding it which is her way of saying you can’t hurt her anymore even if you can. Does that make sense?” Sean nodded. “So I am going over your house when?” “Uh the party starts at seven and Paige and Hazel are coming over to get ready so how about eight ish? I know I’m not going but they want me to do their make up and hair.” “Sure sounds good. I just hope whatever we plan works. I really love her and I would die for her you know.” Manny was shocked. She new he loved Emma but he didn’t know it was that much.

It was lunch time and Manny spotted Jay without anyone around him so she decided to go talk to him. “Jay can I ask you something?” “Oh boy, Manny the school slut, what do you want?” Manny just gave him an evil stare. “Chill out okay I was joking. I don’t like being labeled badass even though I am so I don’t label people. But what do you need to ask me?” “Well you and Emma were you know, making out in the hall today, why?” Jay stared at her. He had to think of that question. “Well I don’t know how it all started actually. I saw her leaning up against some lockers and when I went over to her she put her fingers over my mouth to keep my quiet. I was in no mood to be yelled at so I kept quiet and that’s when I heard you and Cameron talking about him basically cheating on Emma. She turned around and I saw her crying. I looked at her strange and then she all of a sudden had a smile on her face. Then before I knew what she was doing, she was kissing me. As we were kissing she was pushing me to the other side of the hall so Sean could see us. Then she told me she wanted to go to the party with me tonight.” “Okay well uh are you going to go with her? Sean loves her so much so if you do go with her please don’t do anything sex related.” Jay was stunned. Yeah he liked to get some every once in a while but no way in hell would it be from Emma, his best friend’s girlfriend. “Are you serious? I wouldn’t do that to Sean.” She smiled. “Okay good. Well Sean is coming over my house tonight so we can win Emma back for him even though he screwed up big this time. So do you think you could help us? I mean I know you don’t exactly like me but please?” Manny looked at him with her big brown eyes. Jay had to give in. “Alright I will help. But what am I supposed to do? Make her think I want to sleep with her then when she comes on to me I tell her no because Sean is madly in love with her or something?” “Yeah and she won’t buy it but just keep saying stuff like that anyway.” Jay nodded and Manny walked away.

Chapter Four

The next few days were hard for Jay. He knew Emma was just using him to hurt Sean and from what it looked like, it was working. There was just one problem; he was starting to fall for her. Emma, the girl he was always mean to and called Green Peace. Sean’s ex girlfriend once again. But why? That’s all he kept asking himself. Why was Jason Hogart, the school’s bad boy falling for Emma Nelson the environmental crusader? He and Emma were getting pretty close and even though it was just an act for Emma it wasn’t for Jay. He couldn’t keep doing this. It would ruin his friendship with Sean if it wasn’t an act for him to but what is he supposed to do? Then Jay saw Manny.

“Manny wait up. I need to tell you something.” Manny stopped and waited for Jay. “What is it Jay? Is something wrong? Is it Emma?” “No, nothing like that. But it does have to do with her.” Manny gave Jay a concerned look. “Well what is it?” It took him a moment to gather his thoughts and prepare himself for telling someone what he felt about her. “Manny I don’t know how to say this but I can’t keep pretending this thing with Emma. I know she is just using me and it’s all an act but I can’t keep doing it.” Jay trailed off. His words were rushed right out of his mouth. Manny was confused. “Um Jay why does it matter if you can’t do it? It is just to get Emma back with Sean. She is my best friend and Sean is yours. We would be helping them out.” “Well did you ever think it was supposed to be this way, Sean and Emma not together for good?” Manny shot him a look. She was still somewhat confused but now knew why Jay couldn’t go threw with it. “Jay you aren’t falling for Emma are you?” He shook his head no. “Ah Jay yes you are. Aw it’s kind of cute in a way but you know it would never work. She is destined to be with Sean. They are like soul mates or something.” “Gee Manny you sounded so happy when you said it wouldn’t work between me and her. Do you have something against me? And I am going to take my chances. I am falling for Emma and I have never felt this way about anyone before, not even Alex. I’m going to tell her how I feel about her. If she doesn’t feel the same then fine we can be friends but I need to do this. I can’t pretend anymore. If Cameron hates me then he hates me. But tell him I am sorry for ruining your plans.” Then Jay walked off to find Emma.

All Manny could think about were the words Jay had just said to her. They kept replaying over and over again in her mind. Then Sean walked up to her. He waved his hand in front of her face. “What? Oh hi Sean.” She said in a sad tone. “Manny something is wrong.” “Nothing is wrong Sean. Why would you say that?” “Oh I don’t know maybe because you have been staring at that wall over there for a really long time. Plus, I saw you and Jay talking. What was that about? He is going to go threw with this plan right?” “Well um not really. Sean, Jay is falling for Emma. He said so himself. I told him it wouldn’t work but he insisted on seeing that for himself. He isn’t going to help us with the plan anymore and he is going to tell Emma how he feels about her. Oh and he said if you hate him you hate him but he told me to tell you he is sorry.” Manny looked really sad. Sean looked beyond sad. How could his best friend do this to him? He hated Emma or so he thought.

Jay finally found Emma. She was sitting on the floor alone leaning up against some lockers. “Emma can I talk to you?” Emma jumped. “Whoa Jay you scared me. But yeah sure. What is it about? If it has anything to do with Sean then don’t bother. He cheated on me because I wasn’t ready to have sex. Who the hell does that?” “No it’s not about Sean. It’s about well me and you.” Emma looked up at him. Did he just say ‘me and you’ she thought to herself? “Um Jay what’s there to talk about? We are two totally different people. What else is there to know?” “Well Emma you know this whole thing between us right now is just an act so you can get Sean jealous, and believe me it is working. He and Manny are working on a plan to get you back for him and I was in on it too. I’m not now though and that’s what I need to talk to you about. See, I know this thing with you is an act but for me it isn’t. Emma I think I am falling for you.” Emma’s mouth made a perfect ‘O’ shape. “Jay I don’t know what to say. I mean I like you but I’m not sure if it is that kind of like. I love Sean even though he cheated on me which is kind of stupid and I know I shouldn’t forgive him but I am afraid that if we stay apart for a long time again then something like the ‘Rick incident’ will happen again.” She looked at the floor so Jay couldn’t see her face. Then she spoke again. “Jay this thing between me and you is just physical; I don’t know how to describe it. I think it is just infatuation. It’s like you are there when I need you like a friend which I love about you and then when I am in the mood to do something you are there for that too. It is kind of like we are friends with benefits.” The girl he was falling for just told him it was a physical thing. An infatuation. That he was there when she needed him like they were friends. And then when she wanted to do something like make out he was there, like a friend with benefits. It crushed him. Instead of saying something he got up and walked away. Emma stood up and followed him. “Jay wait. Stop please.” Emma was screaming at him. People started staring and one of them happened to be Sean. She didn’t notice Sean though. Jay stopped. “What Emma? What else could you possibly say to break my heart? You already told me it was some stupid act, an infatuation. I told you my feelings for you and then you act like it is some joke. How I am your little buddy that you can go to if you are having problems or want to do something with.” Emma just stood there. Everything stared to clear the halls. It wasn’t like Degrassi to not stay and watch people fight but Kwan was having a huge test and she would kill them if they were late. So the only people in the hall were Sean, Emma, and Jay. Sean was still not noticed by any of them. “Jay that’s not true. Look, I love Sean but I like you. Is that so hard to understand? I have feelings for you both it’s just the ones I have for Sean are stronger. He and I have been through so much together between him pushing me, us breaking up, him coming to my mom’s wedding, us getting back together, and then him ditching me for you. It’s a repeated cycle. But it only makes our relationship stronger.” Jay was silent. He didn’t know what to say. “Emma I don’t know what to say to you right now. You love Sean but you like me? It doesn’t exactly add up but whatever. I am just used for you to put an act on so you can make Sean jealous. If you love him so god damn much then go back to him. If he cheated on you because of sex then who cares right? I mean what if he killed your fucking brother, would you dump him and then go back out with him because you need him.” Jay was pissed and screaming at Emma. He didn’t understand her at all. Emma started to cry. “Jay that’s not fair.” “Oh, it’s not? Well I think it is. You need him and no matter what he does you will take him back. You are only putting yourself through this shit again. It is your fault you get hurt no one else’s. But I will tell you what isn’t fair. This, I love you Emma. At least I think I do. But my point is why keep going back to someone who only breaks your heart when he promises every time that he won’t when you could be with me? I won’t make promises to you that I can’t keep.” Then he left, leaving Emma just standing there crying. Sean saw this and decided to go over to her.

“Emma, I um…” She knew who it was. How could she not recognize his voice? “Sean what do you want? To tell me you are sorry for having sex with a million sluts because I, the girl you supposedly love wasn’t ready?” “Emma that’s not fair. I don’t know what came over me. I love you though and that won’t change.” Emma just looked at him for a while then she hugged him.

Emma knew that she shouldn’t forgive him again but it was a bad habit. She loved him and he loved her. The only problem was that she had feelings for Jay. They weren’t big or anything but they were still there. She just wasn’t sure if what she was feeling for Jay was just physical, a friend type, or a boyfriend type. It was so confusing to her.

Chapter Five

Emma and Sean went to the party together. They were having a blast. It was getting really hot in the room they were in so Emma went to get drinks for them. On her way there she saw Jay. He was making out with some random girl. Being Emma she walked up to the two of them. She waited there for about five minutes until Jay noticed her and then pushed the girl he was making out with. She got up and left. The girl was pissed at Jay for just pushing her off him.

“Emma how nice of you to come by. Are you here to make me feel better and then say it was an act?” “Jay that’s not fair. I like you okay but I’m just not sure how. But either way it doesn’t matter.” Jay stared at her in shock. She just said that she liked him. He was waiting for such a long time to hear her say that. “Emma you like me?” Emma rolled her eyes. “Well uh yeah I just don’t know how I do okay. But I am here with Sean so could we talk about this later.” “Wait are you and Cameron back together?” “Um well I doubt it. Knowing him he just wants sex.” Then Emma left to get her and Sean drinks. When she left Sean came up and sat next to Jay.

“I don’t want her just for sex Jay.” “Whoa Cameron. How much did you hear of that?” “All of it. I know she likes you in some way or another and thinks she and I won’t get back together but I love her alright. I may have trouble expressing it and I know for a fact that I am a jerk to her some of the time but it’s just me. I can’t change that. I have tried so hard to change who I am because of her. For her but I can’t. I end up screwing up again. But Jay please whatever you do don’t take her away from me. I love her. I need Emma. She is the reason I am who I am today. I am a bad boy because of you though.” He said laughing a little. “But I love her and way back in grade seven she believed in me when no one else would. She said I wasn’t a screw up and that I would make it somewhere. She was always there for me and even though I screwed up so many times she took me back. I had way more than a second chance. But then I got mad at her because she wouldn’t spend time with me. Instead she spent her time with her cancer stricken step dad. I was selfish. But Jay just please don’t take her away from me. I don’t think I could handle it again.” The two of them sat in silence until Emma walked by.

“Emma I love you.” Emma turned around and saw Sean sitting with Jay. “What? Which one of you said that?” She had to make sure because they both supposedly loved her. But before Sean could say anything Jay spoke up. “I said it Em. I love you. But those little feelings you have for me well I don’t know. But my man Sean here loves you more than me. He may be a screw up but he loves you a lot and he needs you. You complete him. Without you he would probably have been in jail before I met him.” Then Jay got up and left the party. It wasn’t fun for him because all he could think about was Emma but he knew he couldn’t have her.

Emma walked over to sit with Sean. “Sean I well did he mean what he said?” Sean just looked at her. He thought she was so pretty. “He’s right you know. If it weren’t for you I would probably be in jail right now. Or worse, I would be living with my parents.” “Sean you didn’t really answer my question. Was he telling the truth about you loving me and how I complete you?” He nodded. “No Sean I need to hear you say it. And I don’t care if you don’t like promises I want you to make me one that you are willing to keep.” “Yes Emma what Jay said was true. I love you and if you weren’t with me I don’t know what I would do. But what is this promise?” “I know you don’t like them partly because you can’t keep them but if you truly do love me and mean everything you say then this shouldn’t be hard. Sean I want you to promise me that you won’t sneak around anymore. I wasn’t ready for sex. Half the girls in our grade aren’t but you don’t see their boyfriends having sex with random girls because of it. I love you a lot and you mean the world to me but if you can’t do whatever it takes to keep that promise for as long as we are together then we shouldn’t be together.” Emma waited for him to respond. “Sean?” He didn’t answer me. He didn’t know what to say. Just as she was about to get up and leave he spoke. “Emma I can’t be certain that I won’t do that again. It was the wrong thing to do about that situation but…” Sean paused. Then he spoke again. “I love you though and that isn’t going to change.” Emma just stared at him. “Then I think we should take a break, maybe a long one. If you can’t keep a simple promise like that then how can I be sure if you lie to me about something or not?” “Emma that’s not it. I wanted to have sex because I wanted to take our relationship to the next level but you didn’t want too. I understand that but I was a little angry that night and I got drunk. Half the time I had sex with random people I was drunk.” Emma stared at him in disgust. “What about the other half? Maybe they were the ones who were drunk and you decided ‘hey my girlfriend won’t find out so I guess I should just take advantage of them.’ Well guess what Sean. I did find out. I had to hear you talking about it to my best friend. That hurts. If you can’t be honest with me or keep a stupid promise then we have no business going out.” Then she walked off. Sean just sat there in a depressed mood.