Chapter Three: Finding Out Who She Is

Kelsie walked into Craig’s garage, they had already started their practice. She sat down on the couch and began to listen to the song they were in the middle of singing.

You’ll knock me down

When you come around

You’ll take my heart

Tear it apart

You’ll mess around

Confess it now

Y'want me to crawl

But I'm standing tall

In spite of it all

I'm done with you

You're done with me

Don't make it hard

Why cant you see

You're wasting my time

I spend it all on you

I'm not gonna fall

In spite of it all

You’ll knock me down

When you come around

You’ll take my heart

Tear it apart

You’ll mess around

Confess it now

Y'want me to crawl

But I'm standing tall

In spite of it all

Those words were speaking to Kelsie; she thought the words had a lot of heart behind them. She began to wonder where this song came from; she had never heard it before. She had no idea that Craig was able to write his own music.

You lose me

You confuse me

Don't use me

Then refuse me

You're lying

I'm trying

I'm done with your denying

Craig began to look as Kelsie, watching her reaction while got into his music. She looked so beautiful today, yet all she was wearing was sweatpants, a t-shirt and a baseball cap. She had a natural beauty to her, something that he felt was very rare. He wondered what she was all about back home, what kind of things she loved to do; he longed to know about her life before Degrassi.

You’ll knock me down

When you come around

You’ll take my heart

Tear it apart

You’ll mess around

Confess it now

You want me to crawl

But I'm standing

You’ll knock me down

When you come around

You’ll take my heart

Tear it apart

You’ll mess around

Confess it now

Y'want me to crawl

But I'm standing tall

In spite of it all

Kelsie began to clap as they finished the song, “Guys that was wonderful!”

“Thanks,” Jimmy said, as he put down his base, and walked over towards her. He sat on the couch beside her.

“Where did that song come from?” thinking maybe she would purchase the cd if the group had one out.

“Me. I wrote it,” Craig replied. He was delighted that she had enjoyed his music. He thought maybe that if she were drawn to it, then maybe she would come to realize that he had something to offer. Plus the big thing he had going for him was that he actually lived here, and Chris didn’t.

“I didn’t know you wrote too. Wow that was amazing!” She could now tell that he was really talented. She knew he would go far in his lifetime.

Craig was flattered that she really liked the song that much. “Yeah, I write all the songs that we sing. I like to sing about what we’re feeling, not what others are thinking.”

“So Kels do you have any hidden talents of your own?” Marco asked as he came and sat right beside her. They still didn’t know too much about her.

“I like to write stuff like stories and poetry, but that’s about it,” she said. However, there was something else, but she didn’t feel the need to share, at least for the time being. She was a little guarded when it came to things about her life.

“So tell us Kelsie what was it that you guys did in Sechelt for fun?” Spin asked.

“Well weekends especially we liked to build a fire on the beach, and had a big party with all of our friends. Sometimes we would go down to Pender Harbor to go camping. Basically a lot of things that you do here, except if the girls wanted to go shopping we would just have to head to Vancouver to do that.”

“It must be a real small place then,” Spin said. It had to be if they had to go to another town, he thought.

“It was, but it was beautiful. The west coast has to be the best place in the world. It has a beauty that most places don’t,” she smiled just thinking about her hometown, well, her old hometown.

“I know what you mean, I loved going there with my dad when I was younger,” Craig admitted. That had been one of the only trips that he enjoyed going on with his father. Maybe it was because it was the last one he went on with him before he changed for the worst.

******

Kelsie sat in her room with Paige and Ashley; they were doing Social Studies homework. It seemed like they had been at it forever. They couldn’t believe that Mr. Mack had given this much homework to do on the weekend.

“I think we need a break, why don’t I go get us a few drinks,” Kelsie suggested, as she got up from the bed.

“Sounds good to me,” Paige replied. She was getting rather thirsty.

Once Kelsie left the room Paige got up and began looking around the room at the photo’s she had on her wall, when she came by a 2-month calendar on her wall. She noticed that it said that Kelsie’s birthday was in November, and then she began to question things. “Ash, does BC have a younger license age then Ontario?”

“No, why?” not knowing where this was coming from.

“Well on Kelsie’s calendar it says her birthday is next month, yet she already has her license.”

“Why don’t you ask her?” she didn’t see what the big deal was, so what if she was a little older.

“Ask me what?” Kelsie asked as she walked into the room with 3 cans of sprite.

“How come you have your license if you haven’t had your birthday yet?”

“Well because I’m going to be turning 17 this year.”

“Then why are you in gr. 11 then?” being her old noisy self.

“Because I had missed half of my gr. 11 year last year.”

“Ah I see now, why haven’t you ever told us?” thinking that maybe there was some reason she was hiding it from them. Made her wonder what other secrets she may be holding.

“It just never came up, I didn’t really think of it to be that big of a deal anyways.” She didn’t really want to have to explain the real reason.

******

Kelsie and Craig were sitting at The Dot eating. They had just come from watching a movie at the theatre.

“So how’s Chris doing?” he wanted to allow her to see him being supportive, pretending that he cared, so that she would see that he cares for her. Eventually see him in another light.

“He’s good; he and the boys just went to the Green Day concert in Vancouver,” she had been so jealous of him, she would of really loved to go see that concert; they were one of her favorite bands.

“How was it?” He wished he had gotten the chance to see them when they were here, but he had spent his money on other things.

“He said it was awesome, and that they’re much better live than anything.”

Craig put another fry into his mouth. He stared at her from the corner of his eye, oh how much he wished that she were his, so that he could kiss her anytime he wanted. “That’s kewl! What did Chris think about the book?”

“He thought that it needed a little cleaning up when it came to some of the grammar, but otherwise he says it’s ready to be published.”

“I’m looking forward to reading it; I think it will be totally awesome.” He wanted to see her writing skills; maybe have her write some lyrics for their band.

“So did you and the boys get the gig?” He had told her about their auditions a few weeks ago. She really hoped they got it, she really saw their potential.

“No, they thought we needed a little more work,” he stated, a little bummed. He had been looking forward to performing once again.

“Oh well, you’ll get it next time. I know I love you guys’ work,” she said, smiling at him.

“Why thank you,” he said before bursting out laughing at himself for sounding so stupid. He thought he sounded a little cheesy.

“So how are you taking this whole long distant thing?” hoping that for his sake that it wasn’t working. He was being very selfish, but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t as if he could help how he felt for her. He tried not to feel this way, but the more time he spent with her, the deeper his feelings got.

“At times I’m ready to quit, I mean sometimes I want him to be here, to hold me when I’m sad. Or when it comes to the physical aspect, I have my needs that aren’t being fulfilled…” then she realized that she was saying too much in front of him. “Sorry about that, I kind of rambling on without really thinking.” She went totally red; she put her hands over her face. She couldn’t believe she told him that, it wasn’t something you regularly tell your guy friend.

Putting his hand on her shoulder, “It’s alright. Have you told him how you feel?”

“No because I don’t want to hurt him; I really love him with my whole heart. I mean it’s only going to be 8 more months and then he’ll probably be here. I should be able to handle that long. I guess maybe it’s just because it’s been a while since I seen him. I’m sure it will be different once I go visit him.”

“Probably,” Craig said looking down, not wanting her to see his disappointment.

Song: “In Spite Of It All” by Kalen Porter