It was lunchtime, and Craig was walking down the school halls with his camera around his neck, looking a little dejected, as if he had just put on the first thing he saw when he got out of bed. He hadn’t really cared about the way he looked since the incident happened. He pretended that he wasn’t upset that Kelsie said that it meant nothing, but he was just lying to himself. To him had meant everything in the world because he had begun to fall in love with her.

Emma perceived this from a distance, finding it a little peculiar because he was usually upbeat when it came to taking photos; it was one of his passions. She actually hadn’t seen him this bummed since the summer months. She decided to stop what she was doing and catch up with him to see what was up.

“Craig…slow down,” she said, almost out of breath from chasing after him.

He just kept on walking down the hall; he didn’t really feel like talking at the moment.  Yet she was very persistent, and kept on after chasing him. She wasn’t bound to letting him get away.

“What is it?” he asked finally stopping in his tracks, turning around to face her. He knew once she had something set in her head she wouldn’t give up, so there was no point going on.

“I’ve been chasing you for a few minutes.” Looking into his eyes, “What’s up with you, you don’t look like your normal self?”

Taking a deep breath, “I can’t talk about it,” he said, starting to walk away. This was just killing him inside. He had wanted to kiss her for so long and of course, she says it’s all a mistake. Life just wasn’t fair!

Emma grabed his arm to try to stop him from walking away again, “Why not, you look like it’s really disturbing you.” She hated to see him like this.

“I promised I wouldn’t,” he pleaded for her to stop asking. Just thinking about how she had given him that glimmer of hope, and then just shattered that, it hurt inside. It was as if he wasn’t meant to have a love life with someone he actually wanted, that he was doomed.

“Well I hope it’s worth keeping, cause whatever it is looks like it’s really inundating you.” Emma started to walk the opposite direction, hoping that reverse physiology would work on him.

He just couldn’t keep it in; he needed to talk about his feelings with someone, someone that he could trust to keep it to themselves. “If I tell you, will you promise not to say anything to anyone?”

“I promise, so spill it,” eager to hear what it was. It had been a while since she and Craig had really spent some time talking. He had been spending a lot of his time with Kelsie, and at times, it felt like she had taken her place. Before the summer they had become close friends, and yeah he was busy this summer but she hoped that they could continue that friendship once school started, but it didn’t. She missed him.

Grabbing her arm, pulling her, “Not here, let’s go somewhere else, somewhere more private.” He was going to make sure that no one else heard this; he didn’t want to get in trouble with Kelsie, and have her hate him.

“Alright.”

Emma followed Craig closely, to the little creek behind the school. The creek seemed to be deserted, so they decided to sit down on the damp ground, against a big oak tree.

“So what’s the matter with you? I haven’t seen you like this since the summer,” Emma said looking into his eyes.

“See I have these feelings for Kelsie, but the only problem is she has a boyfriend,” looking at the leaf he was fidgeting with in his hand. He knew what she was going to tell him already, and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t thinking about it himself.

“Last thing you need is another triangle like last year,” worried that he might get himself into some more trouble. She knew how hard it was after that all came out, and she hated the thought of him going through it again, only thrown out in the dirt. She knew he wouldn’t win in the end.

“I know, I know. But that’s not even the problem,” he sighed, leaning his head up against the tree, looking right ahead of him.

What else could there be, she thought. “Then what is it?”

“Kelsie came over to my house early the other night, see she was coming to see my band play as she does from time to time. Well she walked in on something personal to me, something that I didn’t want others to know about. She had me open up about it, and it felt good to know that she knew how I was feeling. Then we were drawn into a kiss, the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had, and the only reason we stopped was only because the boys showed up. She says it didn’t mean anything, but when she was kissing me, it said otherwise. I’m just so confused, I mean if the guys hadn’t walked in, what would have happened?”

“Maybe she needs time to really see it. Show her that you care, but don’t tell her you like her because you might scare her away.”

“Are you sure?” unsure if this was the right thing to do. He rather be totally honest with her though, seeing where dishonesty got him last year. Maybe if she knew how he felt then she would decide in his favor.

“Yes, trust me,” patting him on the knee.

Putting his hand over hers, “Thanks!” He felt better now that he had gotten it off his chest. He was glad to have a good friend that he could trust with this sort of thing.

******

Kelsie turned up into their Social Studies class, and scurried right over to Paige, who was already sitting down at her desk. She really needed to talk to her about what had happened, get someone else’s opinion on what happened. She really needed to know if she should tell Chris about the whole thing. She hated to lie to him, but at the same time, she didn’t want to take the chance of losing him.

“Hey girl, how’s it going?” Paige said in a cheerful mood, smiling.

Kelsie sat down right in front of her, turned around, facing Paige, “I have a problem.”

She saw the anguish in Kelsie’s face; she looked like she might end up braking down in tears, “Calm down Kels, what’s wrong?”

Taking a deep breath, having a hard time getting the words to come out, “The other night…Craig and…I kissed.”

“What, why?” wondered why she would do that when she had a great boyfriend back in Sechelt that worshipped her, and she thought she felt the same way.

“Lately since it’s near my birthday I’ve been really missing home…and Chris. We were talking about his life, and the next thing I know my lips are on his, and we’re kissing,” knocking her head a couple of times on Paige’s desk.

“Did you like it?” prying to know details.

“I don’t know. See I really love Chris, and truly believe that we’re meant for each other, but something in me is drawn to Craig and how he makes me feel when I’m around him sometimes.” She despised herself for feeling this way towards Craig; he was only supposed to be a friend.

“Do you have feelings for him?”

“I don’t know, and even if I do, I think that it will all change once I see Chris again,” trying to convince herself. She wasn’t sure about anything anymore, it seemed like all her feelings seemed to be all boggled in her head, and didn’t seem so clear anymore.

“I don’t know,” thinking that there was more there than Kelsie was willing to admit. She hated to see her friend in so much anguish, she wish she knew what to do for her.

Kelsie decided to change the subject, and perked up, “My parents have decided that for my birthday that they’ll pay for me to go to Sechelt.”

Paige found her change of attitude totally uncanny. She didn’t quite understand how she could be upset one moment, and totally cheerful the next, but she wouldn’t bring it up. “Your parents are way cool,” she wish her parents would do stuff like that for her.

“I know I could hardly believe my ears when they told me. I just can’t wait to be in his arms again, holding me, among other things,” she said raising her left eyebrow.

“You will have to fill me in on the details,” she laughed, maybe she was wrong, maybe Kelsie would be okay after seeing Chris.

“I will, but before I leave next week, we have to a girl’s night since this means I won’t be here for my birthday.”

“I agree, maybe a girl’s night at my house,” she already had a plan unraveling in her head.

“Yeah, I like that idea,” thinking it was better to not to be around Craig for the time being, let her have time to get some perspective on everything. She just prayed that this trip would just prove to her that Chris was still the main thing in her heart, that nothing would change that.

“You don’t worry about any of the details, I’ll do it all.” It would be was a night that Kelsie wouldn't forget, Paige thought.

“Thanks,” she grinned

******

Paige met Spinner, Craig, Ashley and Jimmy at Craig’s house, in his garage. She had them all meet her there, so that Kelsie wouldn’t find them. She wanted this to be a surprise, something very special for her.

“Paige what this all about, Why did we need to meet in secret?” Ashley questioned, as sat on Jimmy’s knee, leaning against his chest, with his arms around her waist.

Paige came and sat on the arm of the couch, putting her feet on Spinner’s lap, “I want to throw Kelsie a surprise party at my house before she goes to Sechelt for the weekend, since she won’t be here for it.”

“Are you sure she would want one, didn’t you say she just wanted something with the girls earlier?” Ashley asked, unsure if it was such a great idea throwing a party for her, having a gut feeling that it would only end badly, like so many of their other parties.

“Yeah, but I want to do something special for her,” Ashley just rolled her eyes as Paige went on, “make her feel like this is her home too. She still doesn’t feel like this is her home yet,” remembering the many conversations that they had amongst themselves. “I want to change that.”

“Why doesn’t our band play at the party?” Craig suggests, smiling, thinking that would be a great way to show off to her without actually doing anything about his feelings. He wanted to show her that she was special to him.

“Before we say yes I think we should ask Marco first.” Jimmy said, knowing that he should get a say in the matter, since he was part of the band too.

“Dude we know he would say yes, so Paige what do you think?” Spinner asked, getting a little excited about their first performance since the battle of the bands. He loved to impress the ladies!!!

“Sounds good, all we need to do is make a guest list. Whoever comes is not allowed to bring anyone else. I want this to be a birthday party not a party, party,” knowing how some teens can get a little out of hand at parties, breaking things, or getting in fights. The last thing she need was for them to trash her house.

“I agree,” Ashley said, even though she still wasn’t sure if this was the best idea.

“How are we going to get her there without her knowing something’s up?” Craig asked.

“One of the girls will pick her up, and then blindfold her, telling her that I have a surprise at my house. We won’t have any music playing at the time so she won’t clue in. Then when she walks in we’ll take off the blindfolds and yell surprise.”

“Who’s going to do what job now?” Jimmy asked, imagined that is would be easier if someone had a job instead of everyone trying to do everything.

“Ashley will pick her up that night; Craig, you and the band will plan the music; Spin will help me with invites and decorations; and Jimmy& Ash can also do the refreshments,” writing it down as she said it.

“Sounds good to me,” Spinner said, pleased that he didn’t have to do much, knowing that Paige would do most of the work, wanting it all to be perfect.

“Well we only have a week to pull this off so lets get to work on it,” Paige said getting up off the couch, and heading towards the door, the rest just watched her leave, as they stayed put. They didn’t feel like quite getting up yet.

They still weren’t sure if this was the best idea when she only wanted a girl’s night. However, you couldn’t stop Paige; once she had her mind set on something, there was no stopping her.

******

The day of the party had come; Kelsie walked to her locker after the third block. Only one more class, which meant she could go get her stuff ready to head to Sechelt, and then head over to Paige’s house.

As she was opening up her locker, she heard someone holler her name, startling her a bit. “Kelsie.”

Kelsie turned to her left to see Paige making her way towards her. “Hey Paige, what’s up?”

“Well I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” Paige, said as she leaned against the lockers, twirling her hair around her finger.

“What about it?” speculating what else they could really talk about, they had already figured out the details during class, or at least Kelsie thought they had.

“There’s been a little bit of a change in plans. I have a few errands to do after school so you won’t be coming over right after school. Ashley will pick you up a little later when she heads over.”

Thinking it was silly for someone to drive her, “There’s no need for her to pick me up; I know where you live,” she had been to her house a million times.

“I know you do, but this way you won’t have to bring your car back before you head to the airport,” trying to convince her this was the right way to do it.

“Paige I wasn’t planning to stay over night, I have to be up early,” being as nice as possible, not wanting to hurt her feelings after all the work Paige put into their girls night.

“Come on girl we’ll make sure you’re up, and we were planning on taking you,” begging her.

Giving in, after all it would be nice to have a sleepover with them so that they could gossip about the boys at Degrassi, among other things. “Okay, I’ll stay. It would be easier on my parents, and then they don’t have to go to work late.”

“So you just make sure that you’re wearing something cute tonight,” she said as she started to head down the hall.

“Paige wait,” she grabbed her books, closing her locker, darting to catch up to Paige. “Why would I need to wear something cute? I thought we were just going to stay at your house,” beginning to think something was going on.

“I was thinking we might go out for a little while,” she lied.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tonight,” as she headed down the opposite hall towards her last class.

“Bye Hun.”

******

Kelsie turns around in her seat to face Craig who was looking at something closely in his notebook. To Kelsie it looked like, he was really concentrating on whatever was in that notebook, but what was it? Kelsie couldn’t really make it out when she was looking upside down. It defiantly wasn’t something for this class, since he wasn’t one to take many notes, so she figured he was just doing homework for another class, but why would it say her name on it?

“Craig.”

“Yeah,” not taking his eyes off the notebook.

“What are you doing after school?” not feeling like being alone all afternoon, knowing that all her friend had something else to do.

“Oh I have a couple of things I have to do for Joey; he’s been working a lot lately so he asked me to clean around the house and the yard for him,” he lied. He hated to lie to her, especially when she meant so much, but he promised Paige.

“Everyone seems to have something to do this afternoon,” slumping back into her seat, sounding a little bummed that she was going to have to spend the afternoon alone.

The bell rang for the end of the day. It was the last day of the week since there was a Pro D Day tomorrow. A nice break from this place, Kelsie thought. It would be nice to have time with the friends she missed dearly and especially time with Chris. She was going to make up her wrongdoing to him, if it was the last thing she did.

“Well I hope you have a good weekend in Sechelt,” Craig said as he rose from his seat. In some ways, he hoped she didn’t though because the thought of her with him made him sick to the stomach. It wasn’t fair; she should be with him not Chris. What he felt for her had to be much more then what Chris felt for her, if he was wrong then he didn’t know anything.

“I do too,” excited that she would finally get to see Chris for the first time since she had moved, but worried that time and distance had changed things between the two of them.

As they started walking up the stairs to their lockers, “I hope you have a good birthday too!” Placing his hand on her arm briefly, “Have fun at Paige’s tonight.”

“Thank you,” she said, shooting a smile his way as she headed past his locker to hers.

Craig watched, her walk off, he couldn’t help but anxiously wait to see her face tonight when she saw what they all had done for her. He only hoped that she would love it, and realize that this was her home.

He noticed the time it said on the clock on the wall of the hallway, he needed to get home, and finish practicing his present to her; it had to be perfect for someone that was already faultless.

“Craig,” Spinner yelled down the long hall.

“What is it; I was just heading home,” turning around, walking backwards.

“I’ll be over around 5pm to help bring over the equipment to Paige’s house, so make sure you’re ready by then.”

“Alright, but I really have to get going now,” hoping he didn’t sound rude. He just didn’t have time to chitchat.

“Okay, bye,” waving.

“Bye,” Craig said as he walked towards the stairs.

******

Kelsie was in her room finishing packing, when she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly zipped up her suitcase, grabbed her coat, and headed downstairs to answer the door; she was wearing a pink vest, with a black tube top underneath, a pink plaid skirt, and her pink suede boots.

 “Hey Ashley.”

Ashley stood there in her low-riders, and a red sleeveless turtleneck.

“Ready?”

“Yep, just let me just turn off the lights, and then we can go,” she said heading into the living room, no one else was home; her parents had gone out for dinner. Therefore, she wanted to make sure everything was secure before she left.

“Do you need help with your bag?” seeing that it looked heavy.

“No it’s okay,” grabbing a hold of it.

They got into Ashley’s car, “I have to put a blindfold on you.”

“Why?” curious what this was all about, what could there be that they didn’t want her seeing. She had a weird feeling arise in her stomach, she knew Paige was up to something, but the question was what?

“Paige’s orders, don’t ask me. I’m not really sure,” she lied.

“Alright,” Kelsie turned so that Ashley could put it on. “Paige is up to something, what is it?” knowing her too well.

“I don’t know, she wouldn’t tell me a thing,” doubting that she believed that, but she knew that she wasn’t going to budge, so why keep asking.

They drove a couple of blocks over until the hit Cobble Hill Drive. They turned left on the road, and drove until they hit the house that read 2230. Ashley stopped right in front of it and got out of the car, going right over to help Kelsie out of the car.

“We’re here, grab my hand, and I’ll lead you up to the house.”

“Okay,” with that she put her hand out so that she could help her out, and slowly got out of the car with a little bit of trouble. She almost fell on her face when her foot got caught.

They went up the pathway, Ashley helped Kelsie keep a steady foot, “Okay Kelsie we’re going up the stairs now, so we’re going to do it slowly.” As they got to the top, “We’re finished; we just have to go inside.”

“Can I take this off already?” a little impatient to know what the surprise Paige had in store for her.

“Not quite yet.”

Ashley brought her through the door; everyone was standing around the house. She slowly brought her into the living room, where the band was waiting for her to come in so that they could start.

Everyone yelled surprise as Paige took off her blindfold. She definitely had a surprised look on her face, as she looked around the room. She couldn’t believe that they had done this for her. However, that was just the start; Craig had something up his sleeve that no one knew about.

“Paige you didn’t have to do this,” Kelsie said looking around the room with a giant smile upon her face. It felt nice to see that her friends cared enough to do something like this for her.

“Nonsense, you seemed like you needed something like this to help you feel like this is your home.”

Kelsie went and gave her a big hug, “Thanks, it really means a lot to me, more than you know,” this was just what she needed.

“No problem,” Jimmy said, coming over putting his arm around Ashley waist. He was glad that this had made her so happy.

“Our band would like to start with a new song, a song that means a lot to me,” Craig said.

This excited Kelsie, had he really decided to play that song, and show others that side of him. She really hoped so; it would be a perfect present to her. Kelsie went and sat down on the stool put there for her so she could just sit and listen to the words being sung.

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall,
in love ,
with you?

Listening to those words Kelsie knew that Craig had written this song about her; it may not be clear to everyone else but she knew it. This infuriated her; what right did he have to do this when she had a boyfriend? She told him that kiss hadn’t meant anything to her. She kept telling herself this because she couldn’t think that she may be falling for him. Well this wasn’t going to stop her from having fun with her boyfriend. Whatever he thought it might change, it wouldn’t.

When they were finished with the song, Kelsie went up to them, and gave them all a big hug, “That was wonderful!” When she got to giving Craig a hug she put on a fake smile, she didn’t know it but he knew it wasn’t a real smile.

“Thanks!” they all said.

“Now let’s get this party started,” she yelled. She wasn’t going to let this get her down.

The band started to play dancing music, everyone hitting the dance floor. Manny and J.T were dancing rather close in the middle of the floor, not really noticing anyone around them. They were too much in love to notice anything. It was as if the two were the only ones in the room when they were together.

Craig watched them, and wished he could have something like that with Kelsie; just thinking about her left butterflies in his stomach. He hoped that the song actually spoke to her, and made her realize that she couldn’t deny what she felt when they kissed.

“Time to sing happy birthday to the birthday girl,” Paige said as she brought out the cake full of candles from the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Kelsie, Happy Birthday to you,” they all sang.

“Make a wish,” Spinner said wanting her to do it fast so he could eat some cake.

Kelsie thought for a couple moments about it, and she knew exactly what to wish for, and then blew out the candles.

“Well I have a surprise for Kelsie, and a little for you all. She’s going to sing us all a song,” Craig hollered.

When Kelsie heard those words, her face dropped. She couldn’t believe he had just done that, broken his promise. As she walked up to where the stool was, just glared at Craig. She roughly grabbed his guitar, and sat down on the stool before her.

“This was unexpected, but here’s a song I being working on for a while called ‘Let Me Go’.”

One more kiss could be the best thing

But one more lie could be the worst

And all these thoughts are never resting

And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

And you love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for

And I turn my back on loving you

How can this love be a good thing

When I know what I'm going through

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

You love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Just Let me go...

Let me go

And no matter how hard I try

I can't escape these things inside I know

I know....

When all the pieces fall apart

You will be the only one who knows

Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

And you love me but you don't know Who I am

So let me go

Just let me go

And you love me but you don't

You love me but you don't

You love me but you don't know who I am

And you love me but you don't

You love me but you don't

You love me but you don't know me

Everyone was amazed by her ability to sing, none of them knew she had it in her. They all clapped for her as she finished her performance, coming up to her. She had finally shown them something that she had kept secret for so long.

“That was great!” Marco said patting her on the back.

“Thanks,” she said smiling. That actually felt good, she thought. She had done it no problem. It was nothing like she thought it would be. She had finally faced her fear, well at least one of them.

After everyone had finished telling how great she did, Kelsie began to get a little warm, and decided that she needed some air, so she walked out the front door, and sat on the front porch. Craig saw her go outside, followed her out, and sat down beside her.

“Is something the matter?” Craig asked seeing a frown upon her face. He didn’t like to see her upset, he wanted to see that beautiful smile of hers.

“Yeah…what gave you the right to do that?” she sneered; you could see the fury in her eyes. She had a look that could kill.

“Do what?” acting as if he didn’t know what she was talking about. He knew exactly what he had done wrong. If given the chance to do it again, he would.

“Telling everyone that I could sing and that I would come up and play. Making me feel obligated to do it,” she started to roar, standing up and throwing her hands in the air. She felt like she could strangle him with her bare hands. He was walking a thin line with her now.

“I though maybe it would be nice for you to show your friends your amazing talent after they threw you this amazing party.”

“Well you promised that you wouldn’t tell anyone until I was ready,” she continued to shriek, walking back and forth on the step. She felt like he didn’t even really listen or how she felt about it. It was as if he only seemed to think about what he wanted, and what she says didn’t matter.

“I’m sorry,” he said looking to the ground, he couldn’t bare to look at her any longer, seeing the anger in her eyes, eyes that seem to be burning a hole through him. He never thought she would react this bad, he really didn’t.

“And what was with that song you wrote?” bringing up his other wrongdoing, the one that pissed her off even more then having her sing. He was the most selfish person she had ever met.

“What about it?” like he even had to ask, but he felt he had to show her some way that he cared about her before she left to see her boyfriend.

“I know you wrote it about me. Why, after I told you that kiss meant nothing,” she implored. It took all the power in her not to slap him right now.

“I think you were lying,” he spat back. How could she say what he felt to be wrong, especially after that kiss they shared? He felt the magic in that kiss; could she not say the same?

“How dare you?” she said slapping him across the face.

Craig put his hand on his cheek, he could feel it stinging. He couldn’t believe she actually just did that, when all he was doing was telling the truth.

 “You don’t know how I feel about Chris; you don’t know how we were when we were together, so you don’t know anything!” Kelsie spat out before she began to run up the stairs.

Grabbing her arm to stop her, he wasn’t going to let her get away without finishing, “No I don’t, but I know what I felt when we kissed,” bringing her into another kiss. This time she quickly pulled away, without looking back, she just run back into the house.

******

The rest of the night, they both avoided each other. The last thing they both needed was another confrontation with each other, especially in front of their friends. Craig knew what it would be like, because of the way she acted outside; he needed to let her cool off. He worried that they might never get back all that he worked for, that their relationship was forever ruined.

Around everyone else Kelsie acted as if nothing happened, and kept an up beat attitude throughout the rest of the party, counting down the time until she was in Chris’s arms again. She especially wanted to get away from Craig; he definitely wasn’t in her good books right now. As long as she had known him, he had never been this way, but she guessed that he finally showing his true colours.

Songs: “How Did I Fall in Love With You” by the Backstreet Boys and “Let Me Go”  by 3 Doors Down