When
Emma arrived at Sam’s house she heard laughter coming from the inside. There was a window near the door so she peaked
in and saw all of her supposed friends. Even Michelle was there. They were probably all laughing at her and talking about
how much of a slut and pathetic loser she is. Emma didn’t blame them though. She was a slut. She had gone down on Sean’s
best friend and more than once. To top it off she got an STD from him. STD alone spells slut. And then there is the whole
pathetic loser thing. That was true too. She was pathetic for believing Sean when he told her he loved her and she was pathetic
for even forgiving him. And now because of the whole stupid Michelle situation she was going to be a loser. They were some
of the coolest girls in school and Emma was to because she hung out with them but it was just pretend. Sean kicked her out
so it wasn’t like she could hang out with him.
But
because of the fact that Michelle was at Sam’s Emma decided to forget about asking her. It would only cause more trouble
and possibly another fight. Instead she just kept walking until she found herself at the beach. She sat down and just stayed
there thinking about everything. About her love for Sean even though he called her a slut and kicked her out. Even about how
much she wished Sean hadn’t tried saving her from Rick. If Rick had just shot her then none of this would be happening
to her. She wouldn’t have gone down on Rick and Sean wouldn’t have left. Before she could think anymore someone
came up behind her and put their arm on her shoulder.
“Sean
go away. You kicked me out remember?” Emma said in a bitchy voice. “This isn’t Sean.” The mysterious
person said. Then Emma turned around. “Who are you then?” “I’m Tyler. I saw you
sitting over here alone. You have been for a really long time now and you looked like you could use someone to talk too.”
Tyler said. Emma didn’t recognize him at first but then remembered where she saw him. This was
the Tyler who saved Sean’s life and this was the Tyler who Sean deafened. “Yeah I do actually. But if you don’t
mind me asking are you deaf in one ear?” Tyler looked at her funny. “Yeah. How did you know?” “Sean Cameron.
You know him. I’m sure everyone knows him. Well he told me about you way back when we went out and then after the shooting
I came up here with him and I remembered you. You don’t seem that bad actually.” Emma said. “Yeah Cameron
is uh well he’s just him. Lets leave it at that. But why are you all the way out here? I thought you all lived in.”
“We do. I do. But my school and the high school here decided to have some exchange program and I got selected. Lucky
me huh? Well I thought I was too until I showed up at Sean’s house. I have to stay there for the rest of the school
year and maybe more.” Emma said. Then she paused before speaking again. “Actually I was staying there. He called
me a slut and kicked me out. Now I have no where to go. That’s why I am here.” Tyler just looked at Emma. He felt bad for her. “Um well how about you let me get cleaned up and I take you out to
dinner. Nothing fancy but somewhere where we can talk. You look like you need it and there must be something unique about
you. I mean you dated Cameron. That kid is tough and not that easy to control.” Emma just looked at him. “I don’t
know. I would feel bad.” “About what?” “Well you having to bring me out to dinner. I mean you just
met me.” “Don’t worry about it. You need someone to talk to and I want to get to know you. You seem cool.
Now just let me go change and then we can go okay?” How could she resist? He seemed so sweet. “Alright you win.”
Emma said with a big smile on her face. Then Tyler left to go change and Emma sat where she was waiting. This was the first time
she had been truly happen in a long time. Sure she was happy when Sean and her were cuddling next to each other and talking
but nothing like this. For once in a really long time someone wanted to help her. It wasn’t her helping other people
which she loved. Then Tyler came back to get her and then left.
On the
other hand it was getting later and Sean was worried sick. Of course he called her a slut and told her to get out but that
was typical Sean, always screwing up especially with Emma. This time he doubted she would forgive him but he had to try. He
loved her and he knew she loved him the only problem was him screwing up all the time. Sean had waited until it was dark to
go look for her. He probably should have looked for her before but he needed time to think and he didn’t know where
she would be but then it dawned on him. She was probably at the beach. So he got into his truck and drove to the beach but
he didn’t find Emma. He then decided to look around town. Maybe she was there somewhere.
Emma
and Tyler arrived at a small restaurant. You could eat inside or outside and Tyler let Emma choose.
She chose to eat outside. They put their orders in and talked for a bit until the food came out. They mostly just talked about
their pasts and future plans. It turns out they had a lot in common. Everything was going great. The food was good and they
were talking non stop. Everything was perfect until a loud and old pick up truck stopped on the sidewalk across the street
from where they were eating. Emma looked over at the guy getting out of the truck and started to cry. She didn’t know
why she was but she was.
“Emma
what’s wrong?” Tyler asked concerned. “It’s Sean. He’s over there. If he sees us
he is going to come over to us and tell me he is sorry and ask me to take him back.” Emma said. She was crying a little
harder. “Then don’t go back to him. Don’t forgive him.” “It’s not that easy. Sean was
my first boyfriend. We had a lot of firsts together and I really love him but I can’t stand the fact that he always
screws up and I have to forgive him. It’s not fair. My heart always breaks.” Sean was lucky he wasn’t near
them because Tyler was ready to kick some ass. He had only known Emma for a few hours but he already
felt like he needed to protect her. Seeing her or any other girl cry over a guy for stupid reasons like that made him mad.
“Then don’t forgive him. Don’t take him back. It may be hard but try.” “I do try. Tyler I really do try. It’s just something about him.” Emma said still crying. Tyler got out money from his pocket and then went over to Emma and they both got up and started walking. Emma was still
crying but she didn’t care who saw. “Tyler remember when you said that thing to Sean about how the papers think he is some
kind of hero?” “Yeah. What about it?” “Well he is a hero. Well at least to me he is. The psycho who
brought a gun to school pointed it right at me. If it weren’t for Sean then I would have died.“ Then Emma started
crying even harder and Tyler just stopped walking and hugged her. They still were in sight of Sean and it
was just their luck that he happened to be walking in their direction. In fact he saw them hugging.
“Emma?
Tyler? Emma what’s wrong? Tyler what did you do to her?”
Sean asked. He was really mad. He never pictured his true love and his enemy hugging. “Cameron it’s more like
what did you do?” Tyler said. “What are you talking about? I did nothing.” Sean said. Emma
had enough. They were going to end up fighting and she didn’t want that. “Sean stop. You did do something. You
did a lot of something’s. Tyler was just helping me. He saw that I needed to talk to someone and he was there
for me.” Emma said. Neither of them said anything after that. Sean was hurt because he was the reason Emma ran off and
then ended up hugging his enemy. Tyler on the other hand just stood there because he thought Emma was a sweet girl and
didn’t understand why she would keep going back to Sean if he kept hurting her. Finally someone spoke. “Emma I’m
going to go. You two need to talk but if you need anything here is my number. Just call me okay babe?” Tyler said. Emma nodded and hugged him one last time. Then he left. Sean and Emma were just standing there until Sean spoke.
“He
said that we needed to talk and we do so can we just go home and talk there?” Sean said. Emma didn’t respond back
she just ignored him. “Em? Come on answer me. We need to talk.” “Don’t call me Em Sean. And fine we
can talk but don’t expect much. I mean you called me a slut, kicked me out, hit my head on the fucking door, and lied
to me because you were sneaking around with Michelle. I don’t know what else is left to talk about but whatever.”
Emma said in a snobby bitchy voice. Then they got into his truck and drove back to his house.
Chapter Nine
The
whole ride home was silent except for a few words Emma spoke. When Sean turned on the radio the song Just Jane was playing
and Sean didn’t realize it at first but it was the song he and Emma danced to at her mom’s wedding. Emma yelled
at him for not realizing what song it was and then turned it off. Sean seemed a little annoyed because it was just a song.
It wasn’t like it meant anything to her right now. Or did it? And she was just trying to hide it. Once they got to his
house Emma ran straight to the room she was staying in and looked for something sharp. Sean figured she needed time to think
about things so he didn’t go talk to her just yet. It wasn’t until he heard crying coming from his room when he
decided to go talk to her.
“Emma
are you okay? I heard-” Sean stopped dead in his tracks. When he reached the door to his room he saw blood stains on
the floor and Emma crying. “Emma what’s going on? Emma stop please stop.” Sean said as he saw Emma still
cutting her arms. “Why Sean? Tell me why?” “Because I love you. I love you Emma. I know I hurt you with
the Michelle thing but you need to believe me – it meant nothing. I love you. But you need to stop this. Ellie did it
and it only caused problems.” Sean said as he walked over to Emma and took the sharp object she used to cut her arms
away from her. Then he hugged her and she hugged him back. “Sean I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did it. Really
I don’t. It’s just-” “Shh it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. Just promise me you won’t
ever do this again. Emma promise me?” “I promise Sean but what if I can’t control it?” “How
long have you been cutting?” “Uh well when you left Jay and I hooked up and I guess I started after that and then
when I came here I stopped. But then after the whole Michelle thing I started again. Sean I’m scared. What if I can’t
control it? What if something worse happens and I cut to deep and I die?” Emma said. Her voice was shaky and she sounded
terrified. “Oh Emma. Don’t think that. Don’t ever think that. I won’t let that happen to you. I love
you too much. But if you ever feel like you need to do that again just tell me. We can go to a clinic or whatever you want.
Just don’t ever do it again. I lost you too many times before, but me loosing you because me hurting you made you cut
is torture. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself Em.” Emma was still crying but she looked up at Sean and kissed
him. It wasn’t a long kiss because she was still a little mad at him but she at least knew that he wouldn’t be
able to live with himself if she died because of him hurting her. And she knew that he cared. She knew that he loved her and
that was all she cared about.
A few
hours later they were still in his room but they were holding each other while lying in Sean’s bed. But they were interrupted
by someone they least expected to show up.
“Sean
what are you doing? Get off of her.” Michelle said. Emma and Sean both jumped at the sight of her voice and then Sean
got up leaving Emma on the bed. “Michelle leave. I don’t like you, I don’t want you, I don’t want
anything to do with you now leave.” Sean yelled. “Sean-” Emma started to say. “No Emma. She stared
this. She is the reason why you did what you did and I am not going to let her do it again.” “What did I make
her do Sean?” Michelle asked. She had no idea. “You made her... you made her cut.” Sean finally got out.
Both of the girls were shocked. Michelle was because she never thought she could make someone do that and she felt terrible
and then Emma because you don’t just go around telling people that someone cuts. It’s not right. “Sean.
What the hell are you doing? Don’t tell her that. Ah so much for trusting you again. And you are what made me do what
I did not her.” Emma yelled then stormed off outside leaving Michelle and
Sean alone. At this point she didn’t care what they did. They were both liars who pretended to care about her so they
were perfect for each other.
Emma
just sat outside thinking about things. Of course she loved Sean but he always found a way to screw up after they made things
better between them. Like when they made up at her mom’s wedding. And then he ditched her because he step dad was sick.
Then the whole shooting thing happened and he said sorry for everything but then once again screwed up by leaving her at Degrassi
to make stupid choices.
Meanwhile,
back inside with Michelle and Sean it wasn’t looking to good. They were fighting up a storm. Emma could hear them outside
yelling at each other but she tried blocking it out so she could think.
“Sean
what’s your fucking problem?” Michelle asked angrily. “My problem? You are my problem Michelle. Emma cut
herself because of you.” “Excuse me? Sean if I am not mistaking I just heard her say you were the reason not me.
And I can see why you were the reason.” Sean looked mad. “What? Okay then slut tell me why I am the reason. Just
tell me.” He said pissed. “Okay Sean lets start with you lying to her – and I know I wanted to keep us a
secret but that was because I knew she liked you and I didn’t want to hurt her.” “What’s that have
to do with me? You didn’t want to hurt her yet you pretended to be her friend.” “I know I pretended to be
her friend but that’s not the point Sean. I knew she liked you and I didn’t want to hurt her which is why I told
you to keep us a secret. I would have ended it if I had known you were playing fucking tonsil hockey with her while I wasn’t
with you.” Michelle said in a bitchy tone. “Whatever. Just got home. I don’t even want to hear the rest
of the reasons why it’s my fault she cut herself.” Sean said. “Hmm well you wouldn’t want to so I
am just going to leave. She needs time to think so don’t fucking gone near her. She may hate me for pretending to be
her friend but that doesn’t mean I am going to be mean to her because you screwed up yet again trailer park boy.”
Michelle said and then left with a smirk on her face. Now it was just Sean standing in his room thinking about things that
were said between him and Michelle and then him and Emma.
Sean
decided to just stay in his room and think. For once in a really long time Michelle was right. He needed to stay away from
Emma and let her think. Whatever she was thinking about couldn’t be good because a few times when he went by the door
he could have sworn he heard her crying and saying this to herself. Things like ‘Why did he have to do this again?’
or ‘I can’t take it anymore. I love him but he keeps hurting me.’ and
sometimes she would say she loves him and it would only make her cry more. When Sean heard her cry or heard her say those
things it made him feel like dirt. It was true. He always found a way to hurt her even if it wasn’t intentional.
It was
getting pretty late and Emma was still sitting on the steps she had been sitting at hours before. But this time instead of
thinking things over she was preparing herself for the things she was going to tell Sean. She loved him that was no lie but
she had to do something about how he always found a way to screw up. They were going to have a serious talk and she figured
that in the end someone was going to get hurt. Maybe even both of them.
Chapter Ten
Emma
decided it was best to go inside and tell Sean how she was feeling now because if she did it later then it might be too late.
As she made her way into the house she stopped at the door of Sean’s room. She couldn’t do it. Se would be hurting
herself more than she would be hurting him. But she had to do it. It was Emma. Emma does anything she feels is right and she
feels that this is right. She finally got the nerve to enter his room.
“Sean.”
Emma said. Sean turned around and just stared at Emma - his eyes red and puffy from crying. “Sean were you… were
you crying?” She asked in a sympathetic way. “What? No.” Sean said as he rubbed his eyes to brush the remaining
tears away. “Sean yes you were. Come on just tell me.” “Tell you what Emma?” “Tell me why you
were crying. We need to talk Sean and it is going to hurt me more than you but-“ Sean interrupted her. “Yeah I
know it’s for the best right? Well I don’t give a damn. It’s not for the best Emma.” Sean said. His
voice sounded scared like he was afraid of losing her. But she didn’t understand why because he had lost her before.
The only difference was she was doing the breaking up not him. “You don’t even know what I am going to say to
you so don’t say it’s not for the best. But if you don’t give a damn fine. When does the next bus to Toronto leave?” Emma said. Her voice sounded cold on the last few words. She did it on purpose though. Emma was trying
to make him feel guilty. It was going to kill her to tell him what she needed to tell him but she had too. It was better then
not telling him at all. “What? No Emma. You aren’t leaving. I didn’t mean it. I do care it’s just
I am really mad.” “Mad Sean? I am the one who should be fucking mad not you.” Emma yelled. Sean shot back.
He didn’t think she would react this way. “Emma calm down. Just tell me what is going to hurt us both.”
He said in a calm voice hoping she would listen to him. And she did. Emma walked over to where Sean was sitting and sat down
beside him. “Sean this is really hard for me to say but I have thought about it a lot.” She paused. “What
Emma? Come on tell me please.” Sean pleaded. “Well I don’t think we should see each other again. I mean
yeah we had some great times while I was here but you lied to me and you always find a way to break my heart when we finally
make things between us good again.” Emma said trying to hold back tears. Sean on the other hand was pissed. He loved
her even if he hurt her many times before it wasn’t like he intended to do it. Sean got up and walked over to a wall
and started punching his fists on it harder and harder each time. Emma started to let the tears fall from her eyes. She wasn’t
even done telling him what she had to and already he was punching walls and being out of control. “Sean stop it. Sean
stop.” Emma begged. But he didn’t stop. He just hit his fists harder and harder which made Emma hysterical. “Sean
stop. You’re hurting yourself. Sean stop.” Emma begged again and again but no Sean didn’t stop. Now Emma
couldn’t tell that he was crying as he repeatedly punched his fists on the wall but he was. He was probably crying harder
than Emma. Finally she gave up and walked over to him and grabbed his hands. Sean almost hit her but he stopped when he realized
she was holding his hands and then he hugged her. Sean cried into her shoulder as did Emma. They were both emotional wrecks.
Even though they both still needed to say things to the other they decided it was best to just stand there in silence and
huge each other close and tight. Whatever else they needed to talk about could be talked about at a later time. Secretly though
neither of them wanted to talk about breaking up they really wanted to stay together despite what they said before.
