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Chapter One
It was seven in the morning and he just lay there thinking
about things. It had been almost a year since the incident at Degrassi. But it was time to finally move on. He needed to start
a new life and as much as he hated to admit it, he was better off staying with his parents to do so. There was just something,
actually someone, he needed and missed the most. To his surprise it was not Ellie. Before he had time to finish his thinking,
his mom came into his room.
"Sean, wake up. You are going to be late for your first day if you don't get a move on,"
his mother said. It was now quarter till eight. "Mom I have been up since seven. What time do I need to be at school by?" he asked
waiting patiently for his mother to answer. "You need to be there by eight twenty
now get a move on Sean." "Sure thing. Just get out so I can change and then I will be on my way." His mother left the room
and Sean changed out of his boxers and white t-shirt into a pair of blue jeans with a navy blue shirt and a grey hoodie. He
said goodbye to his parents and left for school.
On his way to school Sean felt something sticking out of one of the
pockets in his hoodie. He remembered letting Emma borrow it when they where at the beach. It was getting a little windy and
she didn't have a jacket so he let her borrow his. He searched his pocket and found a white piece of paper. He decided to
open it.
Dear Sean,
I know that we have had a rough past and I know with you moving
away it is going to be hard for us to keep what little of a friendship we have but I want to work it out. I need to work it
out. I know I told you that everything that happened in the past is now in the past but that was a lie. I can't put that in
the past. I forgive you for everything but if I put it all in the past then you are going with it and that is something I
am not ready to give up just yet. I am not going to write all my feelings out for you on paper because that would be a waste
of time. Besides, you have Ellie now. Well if we are going to keep in touch you know my number and I don't know if you have
email but if you do, here is mine. Have fun in Wasaga. I will miss you so much.
Always,
Emma
By the time Sean was finished reading Emma's note he was
at school. He shoved the note into one of his pockets and walked up the steps of his new school and headed straight for the
office. On his way there he bumped into some random girl. All of her books dropped everywhere. "Oh. I am so sorry. Here let
me help you with those." He handed her the books she hadn't collected off the ground and they both stood up. "It's okay. Don't
worry about it. My name is Brittany." Brittany
stood there waiting for this mysterious boy to tell her his name. "Oh sorry. My name is Sean. Sean Cameron." "Well nice to
meet you Sean. Oh well I need to get to class. You should get going too." "Actually I was trying to find the office. Could
you tell me where that would be?" "Already in trouble are we?" She asked sarcastically. "No. Actually I am kind of new here."
"Oh. Well in that case go straight down the hall and take a left. It is the first door on your right." "Okay thanks." Sean
started walking to the office and got a piece of paper with all his classes on it. Then he walked to his homeroom.
His
homeroom teacher was Mr. Caltazuski. He was a strange looking man. He was tall and tan, but he was bald. It came as a surprise
because he didn't look much older than twenty five. Sean knocked on the door and went in. "Class we have a new student. His
name is-" He looked over at Sean and quietly asked what his name was. "His name is Sean Cameron. Well Sean would you like
to tell us a little about yourself?" He thought back to the time Mr. Simpson asked him that and how he was rude and didn't
say anything. "Not really if that is okay?" "It's fine. Why don't you take a seat next to Brittany. Brittany raise your
hand please." Brittany raised her hand and he went to go sit next to her. "So
you're following me now are you Mr. Cameron." She said teasingly. "Well what can I say, I am the following type." He said
to her with a playful smile. Then the bell rang and it was time for them to go to their next class.
All day Sean couldn't
stop thinking about Brittany and how much she reminded him of Emma. Brittany was into some
of the same things Emma was. Emma and Brittany both cared about the environment and stood up for what they believed in. While
he was walking to his next class he bumped into none other than Brittany yet again. This time nothing
dropped to the ground. "Mr. Cameron are you trying to deliberately bump into me now? Once was fine but twice now?" Brittany
said jokingly. "Ha. Sorry again. I didn't mean to bump into you for the second time." She smiled and then walked away.
Finally,
the day was over and Sean could head home and think. Since it was the first day of school the teachers were not allowed to
give out homework unless it was the usual things you need your parents to sign. In fact, teachers would not be able to give
out homework for the next week. It was kind of weird but he didn't mind.
"Sean how was your first day?" His father
asked. "Oh uh it was good I guess. I found everything okay." With that said he walked into his room and threw his bag onto
his computer chair. He thought about what Emma said in the note and took the crumpled piece of paper out. He opened his email
up on his computer and looked for Ellie's email. He decided to break it off with her.
Dear Ellie,
We need to talk. I'm sorry I haven't been able to call you these
last few weeks. I am sure you are mad about that. Anyways, we need to talk. There is no easy way to put this but I think we
should break up. Uh you see we aren't that far away but I don't like how we aren't close either. What I'm trying to say is
that we both go to different schools. You should meet new people and so should I. We don’t get to spend as much time
as we used to together and my love for you is fading. Don't get me wrong, I still love you a lot. Just not in that way. More
like a brother sister type of love. I hope you aren't upset. It's just things are different between us now and I don't see
our relationship going any further.
Love,
Sean
He felt guilty for what he was doing but it was driving him crazy.
His girlfriend - now ex girlfriend - was Ellie and all he could think about was Emma. Emma, Emma, Emma. She was in his thoughts
and dreams. The girl at school he met even reminded him of her. Sean knew he had to do this. He had to tell her his true feelings
and his only option right now was email. The phone would be a little weird since they hadn't talked in a while and Ellie wouldn't
get her email till tomorrow so if Emma started saying things and Ellie heard it wouldn't be good. It took him a while to figure
out what he was going to say but he finally thought of something.
Dear Emma,
It was my first day of school today. I wore my gray hoodie. You
know, the one I let you borrow when you where here in Wasaga with me, Jay, and Ellie. Anyways, my point is I found your note.
I couldn't stop thinking about you after I read it. There was this girl I bumped into and every time I looked at her I saw
you. I know, it is kind of weird but it is the truth. Uh well the real reason I am emailing you is to tell you the truth.
Ellie is my girlfriend and every night I'd end up thinking about you and not her. Every time I tried thinking of her I couldn’t
go to sleep. I wrote her an email and I said that I wanted to break up. Don't think you are the reason why either. Well you
are part of it but what you said in that note made me realize something. Emma, you are all I think about. At night I have
dreams of us getting back together and everything. I know it's crazy but it's the truth. Basically I am trying to say that
letting you go was a huge mistake. We had a rough past and I am willing to leave it in the past. I see it differently than
you and I wish you would just put it all in the past too. But just keep me in your present and future. I love you with all
my heart and even if you don't feel the same way I will be here waiting for you. Nothing I am saying can change your mind
but I just want you to know that if I get you again I am not letting go. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world Em.
Love,
Sean
"Wow. I can't believe I just let out all my feelings to Emma on an email.
I should have just called her. She is probably going to think it is a joke because I didn't say it so she could hear me."
He muttered to himself. He didn't get much sleep last so he walked over to his bed and decided to take a little nap. His little
nap turned into a long nap. Sean didn't wake up till the next morning when his mom came in to wake him up for school.
Chapter Two
It was seven in the morning and he just lay there thinking
about things. It had been almost a year since the incident at Degrassi. But it was time to finally move on. He needed to start
a new life and as much as he hated to admit it, he was better off staying with his parents to do so. There was just something,
actually someone, he needed and missed the most. To his surprise it was not Ellie. Before he had time to finish his thinking,
his mom came into his room.
"Sean, wake up. You are going to be late for your first day if you don't get a move on,"
his mother said. It was now quarter till eight. "Mom I have been up since seven. What time do I need to be at school by?" he asked
waiting patiently for his mother to answer. "You need to be there by eight twenty
now get a move on Sean." "Sure thing. Just get out so I can change and then I will be on my way." His mother left the room
and Sean changed out of his boxers and white t-shirt into a pair of blue jeans with a navy blue shirt and a grey hoodie. He
said goodbye to his parents and left for school.
On his way to school Sean felt something sticking out of one of the
pockets in his hoodie. He remembered letting Emma borrow it when they where at the beach. It was getting a little windy and
she didn't have a jacket so he let her borrow his. He searched his pocket and found a white piece of paper. He decided to
open it.
Dear Sean,
I know that we have had a rough past and I know with you moving
away it is going to be hard for us to keep what little of a friendship we have but I want to work it out. I need to work it
out. I know I told you that everything that happened in the past is now in the past but that was a lie. I can't put that in
the past. I forgive you for everything but if I put it all in the past then you are going with it and that is something I
am not ready to give up just yet. I am not going to write all my feelings out for you on paper because that would be a waste
of time. Besides, you have Ellie now. Well if we are going to keep in touch you know my number and I don't know if you have
email but if you do, here is mine. Have fun in Wasaga. I will miss you so much.
Always,
Emma
By the time Sean was finished reading Emma's note he was
at school. He shoved the note into one of his pockets and walked up the steps of his new school and headed straight for the
office. On his way there he bumped into some random girl. All of her books dropped everywhere. "Oh. I am so sorry. Here let
me help you with those." He handed her the books she hadn't collected off the ground and they both stood up. "It's okay. Don't
worry about it. My name is Brittany." Brittany
stood there waiting for this mysterious boy to tell her his name. "Oh sorry. My name is Sean. Sean Cameron." "Well nice to
meet you Sean. Oh well I need to get to class. You should get going too." "Actually I was trying to find the office. Could
you tell me where that would be?" "Already in trouble are we?" She asked sarcastically. "No. Actually I am kind of new here."
"Oh. Well in that case go straight down the hall and take a left. It is the first door on your right." "Okay thanks." Sean
started walking to the office and got a piece of paper with all his classes on it. Then he walked to his homeroom.
His
homeroom teacher was Mr. Caltazuski. He was a strange looking man. He was tall and tan, but he was bald. It came as a surprise
because he didn't look much older than twenty five. Sean knocked on the door and went in. "Class we have a new student. His
name is-" He looked over at Sean and quietly asked what his name was. "His name is Sean Cameron. Well Sean would you like
to tell us a little about yourself?" He thought back to the time Mr. Simpson asked him that and how he was rude and didn't
say anything. "Not really if that is okay?" "It's fine. Why don't you take a seat next to Brittany. Brittany raise your
hand please." Brittany raised her hand and he went to go sit next to her. "So
you're following me now are you Mr. Cameron." She said teasingly. "Well what can I say, I am the following type." He said
to her with a playful smile. Then the bell rang and it was time for them to go to their next class.
All day Sean couldn't
stop thinking about Brittany and how much she reminded him of Emma. Brittany was into some
of the same things Emma was. Emma and Brittany both cared about the environment and stood up for what they believed in. While
he was walking to his next class he bumped into none other than Brittany yet again. This time nothing
dropped to the ground. "Mr. Cameron are you trying to deliberately bump into me now? Once was fine but twice now?" Brittany
said jokingly. "Ha. Sorry again. I didn't mean to bump into you for the second time." She smiled and then walked away.
Finally,
the day was over and Sean could head home and think. Since it was the first day of school the teachers were not allowed to
give out homework unless it was the usual things you need your parents to sign. In fact, teachers would not be able to give
out homework for the next week. It was kind of weird but he didn't mind.
"Sean how was your first day?" His father
asked. "Oh uh it was good I guess. I found everything okay." With that said he walked into his room and threw his bag onto
his computer chair. He thought about what Emma said in the note and took the crumpled piece of paper out. He opened his email
up on his computer and looked for Ellie's email. He decided to break it off with her.
Dear Ellie,
We need to talk. I'm sorry I haven't been able to call you these
last few weeks. I am sure you are mad about that. Anyways, we need to talk. There is no easy way to put this but I think we
should break up. Uh you see we aren't that far away but I don't like how we aren't close either. What I'm trying to say is
that we both go to different schools. You should meet new people and so should I. We don’t get to spend as much time
as we used to together and my love for you is fading. Don't get me wrong, I still love you a lot. Just not in that way. More
like a brother sister type of love. I hope you aren't upset. It's just things are different between us now and I don't see
our relationship going any further.
Love,
Sean
He felt guilty for what he was doing but it was driving him crazy.
His girlfriend - now ex girlfriend - was Ellie and all he could think about was Emma. Emma, Emma, Emma. She was in his thoughts
and dreams. The girl at school he met even reminded him of her. Sean knew he had to do this. He had to tell her his true feelings
and his only option right now was email. The phone would be a little weird since they hadn't talked in a while and Ellie wouldn't
get her email till tomorrow so if Emma started saying things and Ellie heard it wouldn't be good. It took him a while to figure
out what he was going to say but he finally thought of something.
Dear Emma,
It was my first day of school today. I wore my gray hoodie. You
know, the one I let you borrow when you where here in Wasaga with me, Jay, and Ellie. Anyways, my point is I found your note.
I couldn't stop thinking about you after I read it. There was this girl I bumped into and every time I looked at her I saw
you. I know, it is kind of weird but it is the truth. Uh well the real reason I am emailing you is to tell you the truth.
Ellie is my girlfriend and every night I'd end up thinking about you and not her. Every time I tried thinking of her I couldn’t
go to sleep. I wrote her an email and I said that I wanted to break up. Don't think you are the reason why either. Well you
are part of it but what you said in that note made me realize something. Emma, you are all I think about. At night I have
dreams of us getting back together and everything. I know it's crazy but it's the truth. Basically I am trying to say that
letting you go was a huge mistake. We had a rough past and I am willing to leave it in the past. I see it differently than
you and I wish you would just put it all in the past too. But just keep me in your present and future. I love you with all
my heart and even if you don't feel the same way I will be here waiting for you. Nothing I am saying can change your mind
but I just want you to know that if I get you again I am not letting go. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world Em.
Love,
Sean
"Wow. I can't believe I just let out all my feelings to Emma on an email.
I should have just called her. She is probably going to think it is a joke because I didn't say it so she could hear me."
He muttered to himself. He didn't get much sleep last so he walked over to his bed and decided to take a little nap. His little
nap turned into a long nap. Sean didn't wake up till the next morning when his mom came in to wake him up for school.
Chapter Three
Sean was
so nervous. He had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was going to get caught. There wasn’t really anything
for him to get in trouble with Emma, but he figured that if she came while he was hanging out with Brittany things would become
crazy. Emma would think the complete opposite of what was going on and Brittany would feel like she let out all her feelings
for Sean and he was rejecting her. Either way someone would get hurt. Of course he loved Emma but Brittany was like an Emma clone.
The only thing that was different about the two was that Brittany would get defensive and pissed off if someone she cares about gets hurt or taken away from
her.
It was
the end of the day and Brittany was supposed to walk home with Sean to go to his house. They were a block from the school when
Sean realized he forgot something. He told her to walk to his house and wait for him there. It would only take a few minutes.
She agreed and walked to his house only to find someone standing in his driveway. Brittany was a little curious and she didn’t
like how there was some random girl she had never seen before hanging around Sean’s house. Especially since the girl
looked like his age and she didn’t go to their school.
“Excuse
me, can I help you?” Brittany asked. Hoping the person was just lost or something. “Yeah actually you can. I was looking
for Sean. Do you know him? Sean Cameron.” Emma looked at the girl. She looked a lot like her except for the hair color.
“I know him. He will be here shortly.” “Okay, then I guess I will wait for him.” Brittany looked puzzled. Why
was some random stranger that she didn’t know looking for Sean? “If you don’t mind me asking, who are you
and what do you want with Sean?” Brittany said in a cold tone. “My name is Emma. Sean and I went to school together and we dated
on and off for a long time. Has he ever told you why he came back?” Emma was confused now. She figured he would talk
about her to all of his friends. “No. I just kind of assumed he didn’t like it at his old school. Why?”
Brittany was beginning to think that this person was the person Sean kept going to visit but she wasn’t sure. “Well
he moved back here to deal. At my school there was a shooting and I was one of the targets. Sean, Toby and I wanted to see
what was going on so we started walking down the hall to find out. When we got there this guy Rick had a gun. He had already
shot someone and I was next he said. I really don’t know why Sean did what he did because he hated me before that but
he and Rick fought over the gun. Sean got shot in the arm and Rick died.” Emma sounded like she was going to cry. Bringing
up the shooting only brought back bad memories. She was scared to death. She really thought she was going to get shot and
die. “Oh. Well he never told me any of that.” “I guess he didn’t. Anyways, I came up here to talk
to him about some things and there was one thing in particular but I shouldn’t bother with it now.” She had a
sad tone to her voice. Again she sounded like she was going to cry. “Can I ask why?” Brittany asked concerned. “You.”
“Me?” She was confused now. “He has you now I guess. When I told him I was coming up for a visit he kept
making up reasons why I didn’t have to come, and that’s when I got suspicious. Sean had this weird tone in his
voice that made it sound like he was hiding something and that if I found out what it was he would feel guilty and I would
feel stupid for coming here but I ignored it. Now I realize I shouldn’t have come.” Emma was on the verge of tears
now but she wasn’t going to cry in front of a complete stranger. “You like him don’t you?” “Well
I normally don’t tell people I hardly know personal information but if you must know yes I do like him. He was my first
love and you don’t get over your first love easily.” “Well Emma, I can assure you he has gotten over you.
He has me now so don’t think that just because you came up here to tell him your feelings that he is going to just leave
me for you.” Brittany’s voice was cold and harsh. Emma gasped at how rude the girl was to her.
Just then
Sean came walking up to find Emma and Brittany standing there. He figured they had had a somewhat friendly conversation but
then he realized that Emma’s eyes were glistening and she looked like she was about to cry. Brittany must have said something.
Sean knew he was in for it now.
Chapter Four
“Hey
Emma, I see you have met Brittany.” He said, hoping she wasn’t mad at him. “Yeah, I definitely met her.”
She gave Sean the coldest stare she could and he could tell she was mad at him. It was silent for a few minutes until Sean
broke the silence. “Well how about we all go into my house and I don’t know, talk?” He looked so innocent
Emma thought, but she couldn’t believe he was playing her. “No Sean. We can talk out here. You know, where everyone
can hear how much of a two-timing asshole you are.” “Whoa Emma, what’s with you today?” “I think
someone is PMSing Sean.” Brittany said with a little laugh. “Brittany now is not the time for jokes. Maybe you should go. I need to talk to Emma.” He said hoping
she would leave but she didn’t. “No Sean, I think that whatever you have to say to little miss Emma over here
you can say to me.” “No Brittany. Now isn’t the time.” “Oh but it is Sean. You can tell me your decision and
you can also talk to Emma about how she came up here to tell you how much she loves you.” She let out a little laugh.
“You can hit two birds with one stone.” She said letting out a little smile to Emma. Emma was just standing there.
Tears falling from her eyes, and this time Sean couldn’t go up to her and wipe them away. “Sean she’s right.
Whatever you have to talk to me about I’m sure she can hear it too. I mean come on Sean, you couldn’t have made
it anymore obvious that you were hiding something. I didn’t want to believe it but now I realize that I should have.
It was a waste of time coming up here. Basically the only reason I came up here I guess was to get my heart broken into two
again. This is oh I don’t know the third time maybe? I want an explanation Sean Hope Cameron, and I want it now.”
She was furious. She trusted him. He said he wouldn’t break her heart ever again. “Emma I-” Sean was cut
off by Brittany. “Emma, he likes me. You see, we are really close friends.” She put a strong emphasize on close. “Yeah
that’s right, close. We do things you can’t even imagine.” By the time she was finished Emma was balling
her eyes out and Sean couldn’t have been angrier. “Brittany I think you have said enough. You should
go.” “Ha. Why Sean? Afraid little Miss Princess over here is going to do something bad to you. If she does she
will get her ass kicked.” Brittany was so calm. She thought she had it all worked out. Sean and Emma fight and then she gets Sean
all to herself. She had never gotten into this type of thing with any of her other guy friends but that’s because she
didn’t like them like that. “Brittany just leave now. We can talk later okay?” “Yeah sure whatever you want Sean.”
She walked up to him and gave him the longest kiss she could before she lost her breath. Emma jumped back. Sean was surprised
but he didn’t pull back. Brittany turned around to Emma. “See Emma, I kissed him and he didn’t pull back. That should
tell you something.” With that said she walked off.
Emma was
just standing there waiting for Sean to say something. Anything at all would be better than this silence. It was killing her
inside and he knew that. Sean just didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he wanted. He already screwed
up a third time with Emma and he was afraid that if he said anything else there would be a screw up number four.
Chapter Five
“Emma,
I’m sorry okay. I didn’t think you were coming till later or I would have cancelled my plans with Brittany.” He lied. He
was actually looking forward to spending time with her, but he really was sorry. “No Sean, who am I to make you cancel
your plans with your new girlfriend. I’m so stupid. I should have known it from the start. I mean you stopped emailing
me as much and you didn’t call for a week.” She said sadly. “Emma no she isn’t my girlfriend. Brittany
and I-” He was cut of by a screaming Emma. “You and her are what Sean? Come on tell me. I need to fucking know
otherwise I am wasting my time here. Let me guess, you figured that since you couldn’t stop me from coming that you
would dump me when I got here so you and her could go do more of that close thing she was talking about because obviously
you don’t care for me at all.” Sean walked over to where she was standing. There was a little amount of space
between them. “Emma that wasn’t the plan, there was no plan. She was just supposed to come over and hang out like
we do almost everyday. She and I are-” “She and you are what, boyfriend and girlfriend? Or maybe you and she are
fooling around behind my back. Sean I trusted you. You promised you me you wouldn’t break my heart again. I loved you
so much. But what the hell gives you the right to do this to me?” “Emma I meant what I said. Look there are things
you wouldn’t approve of that go on between Brittany and I but we aren’t exactly boyfriend and girlfriend you know.
I will always love you Em, even if you hate me right now I still love you but-” he was cut of again but this time Emma
didn’t say anything. She kissed him really hard. She almost didn’t want to let go but she had to. She couldn’t
allow him to keep on doing this to her. After she kissed him she whispered into his ear. “I just needed to feel your
kiss one last time. I’m sorry for everything you know, for meeting you, for becoming friends with you, for kissing you,
for going out with you, for everything. Most of all I am sorry I ever met you. She and you can be together without worrying
about me, not that you ever did. I hope you and that bitch burn in hell Sean.” She walked away after that. Leaving Sean
to soak in what she just said.
After
ten minutes of just standing there watching Emma fade away his parents pulled up. “Sean what’s wrong? You look
like you have just seen a ghost or something.” His mother said. “No mom, it’s worse than that but I don’t
want to talk about it.” Sean slowly walked into his house. He went into his room and for the very first time, he cried
about what had just happened. Never in his life has he ever cried over a girl before. The girl he was crying over certainly
wasn’t Brittany, but it was Emma. The so called love of his life had just told him to burn in hell. It wasn’t
that he didn’t love Emma, it’s just he was so far away from her and Brittany was like a clone of Emma, well almost.
Anyway, he thought that being with Brittany would be like being with Emma. It almost was too.
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