Paige was lying on her stomach, on JT’s bed, doing her homework. While he sat next to her, leaning up against his pillow, reading his science text; preparing for a test he had the next day.

Paige loved the time that they could just sit here, together. She turned around to face him, “Hun how about we take a little bit of a break.”

He glanced over at her, and grinned, “You know I need to do well on this test,” going back his reading.

Sitting up, grabbing the textbook out of his hands. Pouting, “So you’ve telling me you’re choosing homework over your girlfriend?”

“Usually I wouldn’t, but I’m not doing too well in this class. If I don’t pass, I’m going to fail the term, and then my mom’s going to flip, which means no more hanging with you for a very long time.”

Not caring what he had just said, “You’ve been at this for an hour now.” Crawling onto his lap, “Now a break is a must,” kissing him, biting his lower lip; making him give in to her.

*********************

Darcy sat in the office of her doctor’s. It was quite a familiar place to her, not that most people would know that. There was a lot about herself that she didn’t bother to share with anyone else.

“Darcy, Dr. Hunter will see you now,” the nurse replied as she stood there in front of her, almost scaring her since she had been in her own little world; she had a lot on her mind.

She followed her to his office, you cold tell by the look on her face that she was rather nervous, sitting in front of her doctor. She bravely said, “So lets here it,” knowing that it couldn’t be good if she was asked to come see him in person instead of telling her over the phone.

“I’m sorry…the second kidney isn’t working.”

“So what does this mean?” Was she going to die? She always knew it was a possibility, but always prayed that she wouldn’t have to deal with again, especially now that she had Spinner.

“We’ll put you back on a dialysis until we are able to find another match.”

“But that could take years,” tears began to flow down her face, she had tried to keep it in, but couldn’t. “I don’t want to live like that anymore.”

“But if you don’t, you will die before we are able to get you a donor.”

“I’ll probably die before it will be my time on the dialysis,” knowing that the donor list was very long. It just didn’t seem fair, she had already been through this not only once, but twice.

“Don’t talk like that, you need to be positive,” not wanting his patient to give up.

“I’m sorry…I’m just so tired. I can’t go through this again,” she admitted. Last time it was so draining, it was really hard on her.

She hated that a girl this young was giving up on her life. “You have good chances of making it until you get another donor, you’re still young.”

Standing up, “Give it up, I know that’s not true,” knowing how much her organs were probably damaged. She ran out of the office, out of the building in tears; unsure what she was going to do.

*********************

JT walked into his house only to be greeted by his grandmother, “Hello James, how was your day?”

Giving his grandma a hug, “It was good, I’m pretty sure I passed my test.”

“That’s good to here, where’s Paige?” it wasn’t that often she seen her grandson with tout her connected to his hip.

“She had to work this evening, so she went home to do homework and study.”

“I see…oh I almost forgot,” picking up the envelope from the side table, “this came for you today,” handing it to him.

He looked at it back to front; it didn’t seem to have return address on it. “Thanks. I’m just going to go read it in my room.”

“Alright…dinner will be ready around 6pm.”

“Okay.” He walked into his room, shutting the door behind him. He dropped his bag on the floor next to his desk, sat back on his bed, and opened his mail. It looked like some sort of letter.

Dear JT

It’s been a long while since the last time we saw one another. I really miss you; I wish that I didn’t have to leave.

You probably are wondering why it took me so long to write you. I just couldn’t put into words what I’m feeling. I’ve been pondering whether or not to tell you the real reason I left. I actually never was going to come out with the truth, but it’s been eating me away, especially the last few weeks. I know I know what you’re thinking, why would I do that to you, truth is cause I didn’t want you to suffer. So here it goes…..I was pregnant.

Did he just read that right, he thought, he had to read it over a few times to make sure that he wasn’t mistaken?

I had the baby yesterday, and when I was looking down at her I knew that I had to confess the truth, it was only fair to you, and especially our little girl. She’s very beautiful. When I get out of the hospital, and have time, I will send you a photo of her. I named her Amelia after your grandmother. Don’t worry about having to take care of anything; my parents are taking care of that all.

I hope everything’s going okay with you there, and that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me for lying.

With all my love

            Liberty

This was too much to take in one day. He wanted to get mad at her for doing this to him, but she was here. It also scared him to know that he was someone’s father; that he helped create a human being, and yet wouldn’t ever get to be part of their life.

He threw down the letter on his bed, grabbed his keys, heading for the door. He just needed to get out of here, wrap his brain around this.

*********************

“Hey Darcy, where were you today?” Spinner asked, sitting down beside her. He was worried why she hadn’t been at school today. Now that he looked at her she didn’t look the greatest.

She wondered how she was going to do this, she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know, if she wanted his pity. “Spin…can’t be with you any longer.” It broke her heart to break his.

He was surprised, his face showed it. “What, why?” He didn’t understand where this was coming from; he thought they had a good relationship.

“Because I can’t be with anyone right now,” she said running out, crying. She wished she didn’t have to do this, but in her mind she had no other choice.

Spinner tried with all he had not to cry, but it was really hard. He really loved her, but he guessed sometimes that wasn’t enough for another.

*********************

“Toby,” Paige said coming up behind him in the library, “have you seen JT?” She hadn’t seen him all day; she was beginning to wonder if he was avoiding her.

“Did you two get in another fight?” he laughed.

Rolling her eyes, “No. He didn’t answer my call after work, and was no where to be found this morning.”

“Well you’ve got me where he could be. I haven’t seen him either, he wasn’t even in MI lab this morning; I just thought he was skipping with you.”

“This isn’t like him, I don’t get it. Is he mad at me?”

“Maybe, that or something’s wrong with his grandma,” knowing that she hadn’t been well lately.

Paige closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, “I hope not, I know she means the world to him.”

Putting his hand on her shoulder, “You and me both.”

*********************

“Darcy you’ve got to go to have a dialysis; you’ve got to keep yourself well,” her mother urged her, as she sat next to her on her bed. She wanted to see her daughter well, to see that smile back on her face.

“Mom I’m so…tired, so very tired of doing this. I don’t think my body can’t take doing this again.” She hated to see the look her mom gave her when said that, she didn’t want her mom to be upset. “Please understand…I’m ready to go home, ready to go be with my Lord.”

A tear ran down her face; she was supposed to be the first. She didn’t want to let her give up, but she knew that she must be in a lot of pain, more than she had ever let on. “I love you so much; I don’t want to let you go.”

“Maybe it’s my time,” she cried. She hated the thought of leaving them, her friends, and especially Spinner, but she knew in heaven she could finally rest.

*********************

Paige knocked on JT’s front door, hoping that she would catch him there, and find out what was going on.

His grandma greeted her at the door, “Oh Paige it’s good to see you.”

Smiling, “You too! How are you?”

“I’m good, have you seen JT?”

“I was hoping that he was here, or at least you would know.”

“He never came home last night; he left here in a huff.”

“Oh…” looking a little down, “I see.”

“If you want you can wait for him in his room.”

“Thanks, I think I will,” she replied, walking towards his room.

She worried about what had made him mad, not come home last night, or at least contact his grandmother. What if something bad had happened to him, that he was hurt, and somewhere no one could help him.

She sat on his bed, and heard some sound, like she something. She moved, to notice it was some paper. She picked it up, “What’s this?” She knew she shouldn’t read it, but something deep inside made her want to. She began to read it; her eye’s bulged out at the very sight. “No…no this can’t be right.”

“But it is,” JT replied quietly, coming into the room unexpectedly. This wasn’t how he wanted her to find out.

Paige was startled by his voice; she hadn’t expected him to show, to walk in. She didn’t know what to say to him, she was speechless.

He slowly walked over to her, “I drove around all night unsure what to think if I should be mad, happy, sad, or what. But most of all how I was going to tell you.” He was afraid of hurting her.

She didn’t think she could handle the thought of her boyfriend, a father of someone else’s child even if it was before her. “JT, I’m not ready for this right now…I got to go,” quickly walking away.

“Paige…Paige,” he hollered trying to get her from leaving, but she just kept walking away. He was afraid that she would never talk to him again, that he lost her.

*********************

Spinner walked up to Darcy’s house, he needed to know why she broke it off; the real reason. And since she hadn’t been to school for the last few days he came here.

“Hi Spin,” her mom said as she opened up the front door, not surprised that he had finally gave up ringing and come in person instead.

“Is Darcy here?”

Shaking her head, “Yeah.” Even thought her daughter had asked her not to let anyone in, she thought that this boy deserved to know the truth.

“Do you mind if I go see her?” not sure would allow him if it was against her daughter’s wishes. He prayed that she would though.

“She’s right up in her room.”

Smiling at her as he passed her, “Thanks.”

He knocked gently on her door, only to hear, “Go away, I just want to be left alone,” she cried, putting her face into her pillow.

Did she know that he was there, he thought, not thinking that she would tell her mom to go away. But why was she crying, she had been the one to call it off. Was she thinking that it was a mistake? There was only one way to find out.

He turned the handle to the door, and walked right in, “Hey Darce.”

She spun around, “Spin…” startled by his presence, it was the last person she thought she would see here, especially after breaking his heart. “What are you doing here?”

Drawing in closer to her, to the bed, “I need to know why you broke it off.”

Unable to look at him, “I already told you, because I just can’t be with anyone.” This was partly true, because in truth fact it wouldn’t be fair to them.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t explain it really.” Sitting down on her bed, “Why can’t you be with anyone?”

“Because I can’t,” still refusing to give up a reason, still unable to look at him. She couldn’t see his face, see it breaking, it would make her break; probably make her bare her soul to him, something she wasn’t prepared for.

“Why?” he began to get angry. He believed that she owed him that much.

She didn’t like that he was yelling at her, getting mad. She knew he had all the reason, but it didn’t make her feel any better. At a moment of weakness she looked at him, at his heartrending face, and just broke down, “Because I’m dying, because I don’t have much time left,” she finally blurted out.

Spin’s eyes popped out of his head, his stomach falling to the ground, he didn’t hear her right, this couldn’t be right. He shook his head, backing away, unable to real get his head around this one, “No…no…this can’t be happening.”

Looking at him, trying not to cry anymore, she had to be the strong one now, be strong for Spinner, “It is.”

“Isn’t there something they can do, something to prolong it at least?” not sure what they do for something like this.

“I’ve already done it twice, I can’t…”

He jumped off of the bed, in a huff, “Excuse me, why haven’t I heard this before. You talk about this honesty thing with me, but you can’t even do the same. Is this the only thing you’ve been keeping from me, or is there more?”

She reached out for his hand, “Spin,” but he pulled it back. “I didn’t want to burden you; I didn’t think I would have to deal with this again.”

“I’m your…was your boyfriend, don’t you think I had the right to know,” his anger grew.

“No because I’m not married to you, my health has nothing to do with you,” regretting those words the moment they came out of her mouth, but she wasn’t given time to apologize.

Walking towards the door, “I guess I didn’t mean that much to you,” slamming the door right behind him, hurt that she hadn’t had faith in him, and in their love.

Darcy fell back onto her bed, and began crying for what seemed like the millionth time, hating the way she had just treated the man she loved.

She hadn’t wanted to burden her friends of Spinner, with his, that’s the true reason she never told the, about being sick in the past, and now. She didn’t want them to pity her, to feel sorry for her.

Doctor’s had high hopes that the last kidney would be successful, so she had no need to say a thing. Then last moth she got sick yet again, only to find out that her body was yet again rejecting the kidney.

*********************

Paige sat holding onto her knees, crying, on the bench, in the park. She felt like the world had just thrown her another punch. It seemed every time something was going right with her life, that she was actually happy, something came in and wrecked her; telling once more that she wasn’t meant to be happy, she was meant to live miserably.

“It’s not fair…” she whimpered.

“What’s not fair?” Ellie asked, sitting next to her, after noticing her here as she walked by.

She jumped slightly, “Oh my,” putting her hand on her chest, “you scared me. What are you doing here anyways?”

“Just needed time to clear my head,” she had just had a fight with Craig. “So what’s got you down?”

Felling like she needed to tell someone, have someone to talk to about this. “If I tell you, you can’t share with anyone else,” not wanting JT secret get out. Even though she was upset, she didn’t think it was right for the whole school to be talking about it.

“Alright,” shaking her head.

Taking a deep breath, “I just found out that JT’s a father, that he and Liberty share a child together.”

Astonished, she never thought that Liberty would be that stupid, after all she preached to everyone else, “What? Has he been keeping this from you?”

“No, he just found out himself. I found the letter on his bed. I knew I shouldn’t have read it, but it was just sitting down. Now I’m wishing that I didn’t even know.”

She could see the sadness in her eyes, “So why are you upset?” If he didn’t lie then what was the problem, was it that he had a child with someone that wasn’t her, she thought.

“I just feel that this child is going to change everything; that it’s going to somehow change how he feels about me.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because now that he knows he and Liberty have a daughter, I feel like he’s going to try to get them back, and be a family with them.” She didn’t want to be left alone, she wanted to be with him, and she wanted to be his family.

“Why?” Why was she doubting herself, and how he felt for her, she thought, she had seen them together, she knew his feelings for Paige were genuine.

“Because every time I’m happy, something comes and pulls rug from under me.”

Moving closer to her, putting her arm around her shoulder, “Paige have you talked to JT about this, about your fears?”

A tear ran down her face, “No…I kind of ran out on him before we could talk about what I was feeling I was a little overwhelmed.”

“Maybe you should go and see him, talk this out.”

“You’re right,” embracing her, “thanks.”

*********************

“I knew I could find you here,” Darcy said, walking behind Spin; who was sitting on a picnic table at the Ravine.

Glancing back at her, “What do you want.” Not meaning to sound as harsh as it came out. He didn’t know if he should be mad because she wasn’t truthful or gloomy because she was dying.

“I’m sorry, I know it was wrong not to tell you, but I didn’t want you to look at me differently, to pity me,” she had already gotten that enough from her family.

Looking deep into her eyes, “I wouldn’t have done that.” Taking her hand into his, “So what exactly is wrong?”

“I have kidney failure. My body has rejected its second donor.”

“This can’t mean the end,” not wanting to lose her. She was his life; she was the one he dreamed of having a future with. If she was gone then where was his future, what would he do?

“Like I told my mom and dad, I can’t go through it all over again. It’s just too much for me to handle again.”

“Why not? Isn’t us worth fighting for,” he cried, tears now running down his cheek. Did she not care about what he would go through seeing her die, especially when there is something she can do?

The tears that she has been holding in began to slide down her face. She wiped his away from his eyes, “I love you so much, but going through that all again…I can’t.”

“No, you have to,” he pleaded.

“Spin…Gavin,” putting her hand on his cheek, getting him to look at her, “I’m going to die…it’s my time.”

He just leaned over and kissed her as if it was his last with her.

*********************

Paige was walking down the path of the park, heading to her van. She had finally found it in her to head over to JT’s house, to go talk to him.

“Paige,” she heard someone calling from behind her, she didn’t even have o ask who it was; she would recognize his voice from anywhere.

She spun around on her the end of her toes, “I was just coming to see you.”

“Well I’ve been everywhere, looking for you.”

Feeling bad, “Sorry.” She hadn’t wanted him to worry about her, even if she had been mad when she left his place.

“No I’m sorry…I’m sorry that this situation has to hurt you I didn’t…”

Closing the gap between them, putting her hand over his mouth, “This isn’t your fault, none of this is. I ran because I’m scared that this has changed everything, that it’s changed your feelings for me; that I’m going to lose you.”

“Oh Hun,” putting his arms around her waist, “I may have a daughter out there, but that doesn’t change that fact that I love you.”

“Are you sure?” not wanting to be second fiddle to Liberty.

“Yes of course I am,” leaning down, kissing her softly on the lips.