After ignoring three phone calls Sean had turned his phone off and had a few drinks of his own.  He had told himself he wouldn’t drink tonight before he left the house, but it seemed he just couldn’t help it here lately.  He couldn’t help but think that Shelby was doing this to him.  She was making him weak and he hated her more with every swallow of the liquid he had promised himself he would never touch again.  The thought had occurred to him that maybe this is why his parents drank.  Maybe they needed it to stand being around the other.  Turning into his parents wasn’t something Sean wanted to think about so he looked back to the stage and the girl he couldn’t stop watching.

******

The show had wrapped up and now Ava, Jay, Ellie, Sean, Marco, Tyler and Paige were sitting at a round table in little diner down the street.  Ava was trying to get Paige and Sean to drink some coffee with little success.  Paige was still pouting because they had dragged her away from Sam.  Sean insisted he was fine and didn’t need to sober up.  They weren’t exactly having the best time but Marco was trying. 

“El you really should see Tyler’s work.”

“I’d love to,” Ellie said smiling at Tyler.  “What is your favorite form?”

“I paint a lot but I love to sculpt,” Tyler said.

“Tyler has several things at a gallery just down from Damsel,”Marco said looking to Ava.

“At Stone?” Ava asked.

“Yeah,” Tyler answered.

“I love walking in that place.  I’ll have to go in and see what you have,”Ava said smiling.

“There is going to be an open house there in a couple of weeks.  You guys should come,” Tyler offered.

“Definitely,” Ellie said.

“Cool, I’ll get you some information on it.”

“That’d be good.  Well it was really good to meet you Tyler,” Ellie said standing.

“El can you get Paige home?” Ava asked.  “We have to be home soon so the baby sitter can go.”

“I don’t need anyone to get me home Ava.  I know where I live,” Paige said coolly.

“Come on Paige we can just share a cab.”

“Whatever,” Paige said rolling her eyes.

“If you don’t mind can I share too?” Sean asked.

“Dude we can take you,” Jay said.

“No, I’m going to go to the shop tonight.  Sleep there.  I just don’t want to deal with all the shit that will be waiting for me at home,” Sean said softly to Jay then turned back to Ellie and Paige and asked, “Is it okay with you two?”

“Sean I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Ellie said.

“Ellie, it’ll be fine Hun it’s just a ride,” Paige said looping her arm through Sean’s and walked to the door.

Ellie crossed her eyes at the friends left at the table and followed them out.

Ellie was last to the car and found herself beside Sean.  Paige talked the whole way when they got to her house Ellie walked her to the door and helped her get inside.  The relief of getting rid of Paige was short lived as Ellie open the door of the cab slid in and was alone with Sean for the first time in a very long time.  Well the first time he was aware of it too.

The car had just pulled away when he started.  “El I still love you,” he said softly.

“Sean don’t do this,” Ellie pleaded.

Sean leaned across the backseat and rubbed the back of his hand against her cheek.  Ellie closed her eyes and tried to fight the feeling in her stomach. 

“Sean please stop,” she whispered.

Sean took her chin between his fingers and turned her face to his.  “I can’t Ellie,” he whispered back staring into her eyes.

“Sean you have a family at home,” Ellie said.

“I have a daughter Ellie that’s all.  Shelby is nothing to me she never was.”

Ellie closed her eyes and shook her head not wanting to hear anymore.

“I never stopped loving you El.  What happened with her was a mistake.  I swear El she was the only other person I was with after you and I was only with her the once.  I was drunk and I don’t even remember it.  I know a baby after one time is hard to believe but it happened Ellie.  I didn’t even know about Callie until right before I came back.  Please believe me Ellie,” Sean begged.

“I believe you. A baby after one time isn’t all that uncommon,” Ellie said turning back to the window.

“Ellie please look at me,” Sean said putting his hand over hers.

Ellie turned back to him and said, “Sean there are some things we really need to talk about but tonight isn’t the right time.” As she finished speaking the cab stopped.

Ellie jumped out and ran towards the door but felt Sean’s hand around her wrist just as she unlocked the door.

“Go back to the car Sean,” she said turning to him.

He was so close.  She could smell his cologne mixed with the alcohol he had earlier that night.  “Sean go,” she begged him.

“I can’t,” he said leaning in, his lips were almost on hers when she tipped her head down.

 He reached out and once again lifted her head.  “Ellie please. I need to touch you, taste you. God El I missed you so.”

Sean didn’t finish his sentence.  Ellie had softly put her lips on his.  That’s all it took.  He pulled her body against him hard.  Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss.  Sean reached for the door knob and backed Ellie into the apartment.  Once inside Sean lifted Ellie up and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist.

Sean got to the couch and sat down keeping Ellie in front of him.  The kiss only broke to pull shirts over heads.  Sean had both hands under Ellie’s skirt tugging on her fishnets.  “Stand up baby,” he breathed against her neck.  Ellie obeyed and soon was free of all clothing.  Sean, now standing, pulled her into another kiss.  Ellie put her hands between their bodies and unbuckled Sean’s belt.  Soon his pants were undone and Ellie closed her hand around him.  Sean took a sharp breath.  His head fell to touch her forehead, he looked into her eyes and said, “Are you sure El, do you want to stop?”

Ellie moved the hand touching him and whispered his words back to him, “I can’t.”

Sean stepped out of his pants and sat back on the couch, he pulled her onto his lap.  Ellie slid him into her body and began to rock as Sean moved beneath her.  Sean soon cried out just as Ellie slumped against him.  He wrapped his arms around her and ran his hands up and down her moist back as her heartbeat slowed against his.

After a few minutes of sitting like this Ellie spoke, “What have we done?”

“Don’t regret us Ellie.  I love you.  I want to be with you.”

“Sean are you still drunk?”

“No ma’am you sobered me right up,” Sean teased placing a kiss against her shoulder.

“Sean I’m serious.”

“No El I’m not drunk.”

“I have to tell you something.  Let’s get cleaned up.”  Ellie said pulling herself off Sean.

A few minutes later they were dressed and Ellie was sitting in the rocking chair facing Sean on the couch.  “First I have to tell you I’ve been seeing someone.” 

Sean closed his eyes and took a hard breath.  “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know?” Ellie said lamely.

“Do you love me?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

“Who is he?”

“His name is Cameron.  He’s Ava’s older brother.”

“Oh.  Well what’s next El?  You know how I feel.  Are you going to tell him about us or are we going to pretend this never happened?” Sean asked not looking at her.

“Sean there’s more we need to talk about.”

“What else could there be El?”

Ellie stood up and held her hand out to him.  Sean put his hand in hers and stood.  Ellie led him down the hall and to a closed door.  Ellie took a deep breath and looked at Sean unsure.  He smiled and she turned the knob.  “This is my son’s room,” Ellie said louder than she meant to.

“You have a kid?  Is it his?” Sean asked not looking at her.

“No Sean.  I haven’t slept with him,” Ellie admitted.

“Who else El?  Who have you been with?”

“You,” Ellie said softly.

Sean turned to her.  “Are you saying -” Sean stopped speaking and cleared his throat.

“He’s yours.  Sean you are the only person I’ve ever -”

“WHY!”  Sean yelled interrupting her.

Ellie jumped.  “Sean I -”

“No tell me why.  Why didn’t you tell me El?  My god I have a son,” Sean said.

“Sean I tried.  When you left it was a while before I found out.  I wasn’t going to tell you.  I didn’t want you to think I was trying to trap you or pressure you into coming back.  But at the ultrasound they said a boy and I just had to let you know so I went to your parent’s house but your dad told me you had gone.  I didn’t think you would be back so I just decided to do it myself and let you be happy.”

“Let me be happy?  Are you fucking crazy?  Did you think my child wouldn’t make me happy?  I can’t believe you did this to me,”  Sean said as a tear fell.

“To you!  I did it for you.  I let you go.  I let you be young while I had a baby and dealt with everything on my own.  I didn’t do this to you this happened to me.  If you had been around you would have known everything.  You chose to leave me and I chose to let you go.”

“Where is he? What’s his name?” Sean asked refusing to argue with her anymore.

“His name is Aidan,” Ellie began

“Aidan,” Sean repeated.

“Yeah Aidan Cameron Nash.”

“Nash?  Why didn’t you give him my name Ellie?”

“I didn’t think you would ever see him and I didn’t want to explain why his name was different from mine.  I just thought it was the best thing to do.”

“You have to change it Ellie.  Where is he I need to see my son.”

“He’s at my parents.”

“What?  You left our child with your alcoholic mother?”

“She’s changed Sean and my dad is home now.  Aidan is fine.”

“I’ll be back in the morning.  Have my son here.”

“Where are you going?”  Ellie yelled at his back.

“I can’t be around you right now.  I’m going to the shop,”  Sean said and closed the door behind him.

Ellie watched the door for a few minutes after it closed and wondered how this night had gone from the love she felt earlier to the hate that Sean had just had in his eyes for her.  She had expected this but it still hurt.  Ellie went into the bathroom and ran a bath.  She could smell him on her and she knew she would never sleep tonight if she didn’t get his scent off of her skin.