Emma stood there, in Spin’s arms, staring at the wall awaiting news from the doctor, the nurse, or at least someone who knew something. She had never been so scared in her whole life, as she waited anxiously for the news, the news that could officially break her. It felt like forever since they had gone in there to revive him. From the length of the time it was taking them she expected to hear the worst.

Spinner still had his arms around her, but she was unable feel it because she was numb to everything surrounding her, well except the emptiness she felt. It was as if she could feel him slipping away from her, that she could feel that he was losing the battle he was fighting.

Even though she hated to admit it, maybe it was his time to go. He had been through so much; he must really be tired, not just physically, but emotionally. He had been through more things than some go through in a lifetime. Maybe it was really his time to finally rest. Tears just gushed down her face at that thought.

Dr. McCartney came out of his room, with just a straight face; you couldn’t read what he was about to tell you. That sent butterflies through Emma’s stomach to know that it could be either way.

“Mr. Manning damage is just too severe, his body is trying to heal itself, but he is real weak, and that’s why his heart stopped. I’m sorry….” glancing at all the faces the stood waiting what the final verdict was.

“NO…………………….” Emma shrieked. Her whole world had been shattered in a million pieces in only a matter of seconds, well at least she thought since she hadn’t let him finish. She couldn’t listen to all these people tell her how sorry they were so she just sprinted out of there, as fast as she could, hoping that no one would follow her, that they would just let her be.

They all just stared at her, unsure what they should do. They realized that she must have been so sure what the doctor was going to say that she just freaked, but they all still didn’t know for sure if he was really dead.

“So doctor you were saying,” Joey said needing to know, to know if it was really true that he was dead, or if Emma had jumped to conclusion.

“Like I was saying I’m sorry, but I don’t really know if his body can heal the damage, he’s become weaker since he’s been here. But we were able to revive him for the time being.”

A sign of relief flooded their faces; this was some good news, at least for the time being.

“He’s going to need a miracle to recover though,” the doctor said, before leaving them, letting them get back to talking amongst themselves.

“I’m going to go find Emma,” Kelsie said. “She needs to know that he’s not dead. I know what’s going through her head, and with her not thinking straight anything can happen.”

“Thanks,” Joey said.

“You’re welcome,” she said smiling.

“I’ll come with you,” Chris said, standing up from the chair he had been sitting in for the last few hours. “Plus I really think someone should relieve the babysitter anyways.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” she agreed. “So I guess I’ll be back when I find Emma,” she said to Joey. She glanced over at Angie, who sat there with her toys; this wasn’t a place for a child to be for so long. She needed some proper rest, some time away where Joey didn’t have to worry about taking care of her for a while, so he could put his full attention on Craig. “How about Angie come with us, and than you can come and play with your niece for a while.”

Her face grew with happiness, happiest that he hadn’t seen since they had gotten here, “Can I daddy?”

“Sure sweetie,” over her shoulder he mouthed to Kelsie, ‘thank you’.

She mouthed back, ‘you’re welcome’. “Okay let’s go Angie,” grabbing a hold of her hand, leading her towards the exit of the ward; away from all the drama if only for a little while.

******

Emma had come back to his apartment feeling the need to be around all his stuff; she felt that it was the only way to be close to him. She lay on Craig’s bed, curled up in his favorite hoody; she could still smell the scent of his cologne upon it as she took in the aroma of his sweater.

She remembered that Craig had smelt like this the first time they had made love. She could still remember every bit of that night, the way he kissed her, or the way he brushed back her hair so that he could look into her eyes, into her soul. But now that was nothing but a distant memory, he would never ever be able to make her feel that way again; he was gone, and she believed that no one would ever be able to make her feel that way again, that it was a feeling that he had taken with him.

“I guess I deserve this,” she whimpered. “He lost his life because I was trying to set him free. If I had stayed and listened to my heart then I would be in his arms right now. I will never forgive myself for that…I’m such a horrible person,” she cried, tears falling on his sweater, and his pillow.

Emma soon cried herself asleep. It was the first time she had slept since he had his accident three days ago. Now she was finally getting the rest she needed; maybe once she had rested she would see everything differently.

******

“Chris I just don’t know where she would have gotten to by now. I’m so worried, I mean she wasn’t in the most stable state when she took off, what if she does something stupid?” Kelsie said in a paniked state as she talked to him over her cell. She prayed deep down that that wasn’t the case.

“Kels, calm down. She’ll be fine, we just need to put our heads together and think of somewhere she would go, I mean she doesn’t know Victoria too well,” he replied. He was just as worried as she was, but he didn’t want her to panic anymore than she was; someone had to be the rational one here.

“Chris I don’t think you really get it. She really blames herself for this, not just because she left, but because she never told him the truth to why she was leaving.”

Sitting on the floor, next to Angie who was playing there with Ava, he was a little confused to where she was going with this, “What do you mean?”

She knew exactly how he was going to react when he first heard it, well that is if he didn’t let her finish. “She told him that she was leaving because she thought he was still in love with me…”

“What!” he roared, he couldn’t stand the thought that he had been trying to get back Kelsie behind his back.

Putting her hand on Chris’s arm, “Is something wrong, is it Emma…is it Craig,” the little girl asked.

Chris looked at her, with sympathy, guessing this is how his sister must have felt, “No sweetheart it’s not.”

She slowly went back to playing with Ava, but she still had a cheerless look upon her face as she sat there. The joy that she once had was gone, and lost in this tragedy.

“He better not…”

“Shut-up and let me finish.”

“Fine,” he couldn’t believe that she had just snapped at him. What did she think his reaction would be?

“The truth was it was just an act to get him to hate her so that it would be easy for him to let her go so that she wouldn’t have to tell him the real reason.”

“And what is the real reason?”

She knew that she shouldn’t be telling him her secret, but she knew he would be able to keep the secret, and act like he didn’t know. “She found out a few months back that she can’t have kids, and she didn’t want him to have to do without kids after seeing how he was when he was with Ava. She just couldn’t bear that. She wanted him to be able to have as many kids as he wanted with someone he loved. I just wish she would have been able to tell him before all this.”

“Poor girl, I don’t even know what could be going through her head right now…I hope she’s alright.” He knew how she felt, because he knew that he and Kelsie may never have their own children, knowing that she may not be able to carry to term.

Kelsie took a deep breath, and really began to think smart, and then it came to her. Slamming her hand against her steering wheel, “I’ve got it; I don’t know why we didn’t think about this.”

“Where?”

“She’s gone to his apartment. That’s the only place that she could feel close to him right now. I’ll let you go now, let you get back to the kids. I’ll call you after I’ve talked with her.”

“Alright, I love you.”

“I love you too.” She threw her cell on the passengers’ seat, and started driving to Craig’s place. She was tempted to drive fast, but then she was reminded of Craig, lying there in a coma.

******

Out of nowhere the group heard a yelling coming from down the hall, “Joey…Joey.”

He spun around in his seat, “Spike,” raising from his seat, “oh my goodness.”

She ran over and gave him a hug, “I’m so sorry. How…is he?” worried that it could be real bad, worried how her daughter would react if he didn’t make it through this.

Looking at her, he had a hard time looking in the eye, seeing the pity, “Not good, but I’m optimistic that he will recover, that he will get through this.”

She looked around the room, “Where’s Emma? Is she with him?”

He shook his head, “I’m not sure where she is, Kelsie went to find her.”

“But Kelsie said she was here, what happened?” confused why she would leave, did she decided that it was too much. She began to fret about it.

“A little while ago the doctor came out to tell us about his condition, before he was finished she ran out. I guess she thought that he was going to tell us that he had died.”

“I hope she’s alright,” she began to cry. Joey didn’t know what else to say to one of his oldest friends, so he just embraced her again; letting her cry on his shoulder.

******

Kelsie walked up to Craig’s door, pulled out her key from her purse and slid them into the deadbolt. Craig had given her a key in case of an emergency. “Emma,” she called out as she walked through the door, but there was no answer. She prayed that she was here, because she was out of ideas, and drained from her long search.

She looked in the living room, but there was no one in sight, so she decided to try his bedroom. As Kelsie came around the corner of the bedroom door, she saw Emma’s petite body curled up on his bed, sleeping; she sighed with relief. By the redness around her eyes she knew she had been crying, a lot.

She sat on the edge of the bed, and shook Emma slightly, just enough to wake her up from her slumber.

Emma awoke hastily to see Kelsie right beside her. Why could no one understand that she didn’t want to be bothered, that she didn’t want to see anyone, she thought. “LEAVE!” she said quite abruptly.

“No, we need to talk,” she said firmly, standing her ground.

“Well this isn’t your place, so go,” when she wasn’t listening to that, “GET OUT!” she seemed to scream louder, gripping tight with her fists to the comforter.

She kept telling herself she’s just doing this because she’s upset, keeping herself calm. “I don’t care how you talk to me, I’m not leaving. I have something to tell you.”

“I don’t care,” she said turning her back to her. “Nothing you say will really matter, because it won’t bring him back,” her cry was stuck at the back of her throat.

“Craig’s alive, he isn’t dead,” she finally spurted out, when she finally was able to get a word in.

Emma heart fell, did she just hear right or was her mind playing tricks, wanting her to believe in a lie, she thought. She slowly turned around to face Kelsie, a girl that had just given her hope. Shaking her head in disbelief, “No this isn’t true, because I killed Craig.”

Kelsie sauntered over to her, to embrace the broken girl in her arms, “No you didn’t. After you left, the doctor told us that he was still with us, just was more fragile than he originally thought.”

Gazing up at her, putting her hand against her mouth, “Oh my goodness, I need to see him.”

“Okay, I can take you back there,” she said smiling slightly. She really hoped that it worked out for all of them, because after all they been through this past year they both deserved it.

“They must think I’ve gone crazy,” she laughed at herself; thinking of how she left in such a huff.

“No, they totally understand that this hasn’t been easy on you; that it’s been rather stressful,” rubbing her thumb against the service of Emma’s hand.

“When the doctor came to talk to us all I could think is that it was going to be bad news. I felt like the walls were moving in on me, making it harder and harder to breath. And his tone just made me think the very worse,” she cried.

“You weren’t the only one that thought that way.”

Smiling slightly, biting her lower lip, “Maybe we should bring some of his things from here to make him more comfortable.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” thinking that it may help him.

The girls packed a few things, mostly a few photos of friends, family, Ava, and Emma. Then Emma changed into something more comfortable, but of course put his sweater back on too, she wasn’t going to let go of it, not until he was well again.

When she was looking for some sweats of his to wear, since she didn’t have any here, she came across a cd that had her name written on it. She picked it up, “What could this be?” She took it out of its case, and put it into the cd player, and listened.  “Hey Emma.”

She was startled, she could not believe that she was hearing his voice, it was like hearing his ghost, but what was this?

“I bet you’re wondering why I made this for you when it isn’t even our anniversary, but that doesn’t really mater because I love you. I was thinking the other day that it’s been almost 5yrs since I came back into your life, and I’ve loved everyday since. I know we haven’t been together too long, but I already know that you’re the one for me. And I never could imagine that I would be this happy with anyone in my life.”

Tears ran down her face, she couldn’t believe that he was saying these words to her.

“Here’s a song that I wrote for you, a song that is just for you; one of the many that I’ve written for you. They’re all on this cd, because they deserve to be heard by you.”

You with those sad eyes

Don't be discouraged

Though I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can loose sight of it

And the darkness inside you makes you feel so small

But I see your true colors shining through

I see your true colors

That's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors, true colors

Are beautiful like a rainbow

Show me your smile

Don't be unhappy

Can't remember when

I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

Just call me up because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors shining through

I see your true colors

That's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors, true colors

Are beautiful

Like a rainbow

You're beautiful

I see your true colors

Just remember

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

Just call me up because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors shining through

I see your true colors

That's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors, true colors

Are beautiful

Beautiful

Like a rainbow

Like a rainbow

You're beautiful

Your true colors are beautiful

She couldn’t believe he did this for her; she was really beginning to realize the depth of his love for her. She had allowed her doubts of her not being enough and others comments get in the way.