Chapter One

The car ride was long and the entire time in the car I sat in the passenger’s set looking into the sky and listening to my Elizabeth Daily CD, every once-in-a-while I would look over at my dad and see a little bit of disappointment in his eyes. After what felt like the longest car ever, we pulled up to this small tan house, it had a bay-window and a front door and that was it in the front. I got out of the car and looked at the house, “Welcome home, sweetheart,” my dad said as he closed his door and walked over to the trunk, I gave him a smile, he threw me the keys and I walked up the house. I put the key in the lock, turned it but I didn’t open the door, I just short of stood there in fright of what was behind the door.

I threw my bag down in a room, it wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small, and I walked to the window and just saw trees, for what seemed like miles. Back in Wasaga I lived right on the beach and I had my own little balcony in my second floor bedroom, I’d go out there to think, think of everything, think of fights my friends got into and how dirty I felt and when my next English term paper was due, I thought about everything and in the room I somehow felt like I think about anything, It’ll have to do, I do myself somehow not believing it. I stared out the window for five minutes until my dad came in “I want your bed right here.” my dad said pointing to the middle of the room, I rolled my eyes and continued looking out the window.

For two weeks straight I wasn’t in school and I helped my dad move in and then I was able to go to school. When I arrived in Degrassi I proudly walked down the hall, proud and tall and everyone looked at me in shock of something so gorgeous. I walked over to my cousin JT, “I’m gonna make an entrance more often at Degrassi,” I said as I put my arm on the shoulder, “Why?” JT said looking totally puzzled, “It’s a great way to get attention,” I said as JT rolled his eyes at some guy he was standing with. “Who’s this?” I asked really confused looking at someone way shorter than me, brown hair, glasses, some what of a big nose, “Who? Oh him, this is Toby, Toby this is my cousin Danielle, and Danielle this is my friend…Toby.” JT said and my eyes all of a sudden felt bigger then my forehead, “Wow JT, you're dork.” I said taking my arm off is shoulder and whipping off my elbow, I walked away to let the rest of the hall in shock of someone so different from all the other losers at Degrassi. Then I saw someone, someone I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with, about my height, short dark brown hair, and he looked Mexican, it was only time before we’d be hooking up.

Chapter Two

"What? What are you doing here? At Degrassi?" Sean asked looking really excited to see me. "Well my dad got transferred?" I said. "Um, listen, my friend Jimmy is having a party, you should come?" he said, I stood there and pondered the question. "Oh, come on it'll be fun. And it's a great way to meet people," he said, still I stood there wondering if I should go or not, "What the hell?" I said and Sean gave me another giant hug, "Okay, great, it's at 6:30 till one-ish," he said walking away and I just stood there feeling the happiest I ever felt in a long time.

I walked into my M.I. room and handed my schedule to the teacher, he looked at it long and hard. "Okay, Danielle, I'm Mr. Simpson, your M.I. teacher. Why don't you go sit next to Ashley?" he said, I nodded my head yes and walked over to some goth girl and I asked if she was Ashley but she didn't answer she was too busy reading something on the computer, I sat next to her anyway. I signed onto the computer and then I felt weight on the back of my chair, I turned around and saw some dark skinned, tall guy, wearing baggy sweats. "Can I ask you something?" I asked, he took his stare off of Ashley and looked at me really pissed, "How do you find that style of cloths attractive?" I asked, he looked pissed but I heard Ashley laugh. "Okay, laugh it up, but when I'm up on the Grammy stage, receiving an award, don't wonder why I never gave you money and thanked you." he said, I rolled my eyes at him not quite getting what he was saying and read the news bulletin on the computer. "Hey, Ashley, I'm having a party at my place, tonight wanna come?" he said, "Jimmy?" I said, "What?!" he said, "Oh nothing." I said. "Jimmy, what about....last year, remember?" Ashley said, "Don't worry about it," Jimmy said walking away, and when the bell rang I turned around and saw some guy with black hair sitting behind the other computer, I smiled and he smiled back.

            I left M.I. and walked over to my locker and Sean was standing in front of it. "How is he?" he said, "He's doing just fine." I said, "Yeah?" he said, I nodded yes and opened my locker and Sean noticed a picture that was hanging in my locker. It was a picture with me and Sean and a couple of our friends, I turned to look at him and he looked happy and sad at that same time, and I know what that looks like. I closed my locker, "The past is in the past," I whispered in his ear and I walked away and I looked bag at Sean and he was slowly walking down the hall, toward where I came from.

            I opened the door toward my house and called for my dad but I got no answer. I threw my bag on the couch, I walked to my fridge and looked inside it for a good five minutes, finally I pulled out a frozen Yoodle (they're best when frozen), I closed the fridge only to see my dad standing in the kitchen door way, "Daddy...hi." I said, "Um, Daddy, a friend of mine is having a party tonight at 6:30. Can I go?"  I asked a little shaky, "What time does it end?" he said very stern. "Well, he didn't exactly tell me, but when I get there I'll call you and tell you," I said, shaky again. "I want to know as soon as you get there," he said leaving the kitchen; I took a sigh of relief and went to my room. When I went to my room I fell on my bed and reached for the phone and started calling Sean's number, from when he lived in Wasaga. "Hello?" said Mrs. Cameron, "Hi, Mrs. Cameron, it's Danielle," I said, "Um, Danielle, Sean doesn't live here anymore, he hasn't lived here for a year and a half," she said. "I know I'm sorry. I just need his number it's an emergency." I said and there was a long pause on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry I don't have it," she said, I hung up the phone without even a goodbye. I turned over to look up at the ceiling and started to cry, I don't know why, I just did. I then looked over out the window and my tears started to clear up. I got up from my bed, locked the door and walked over to the window, when I reached the window I looked back at the door and then I climbed out my window.

            I started walking until I found a telephone booth. I walked into the telephone booth and took out the yellow pages from under the phone. I opened up to C and went down the listen until I saw Cameron, "Cameron," I said when I found the name. I started dialling the number and waited until someone picked up on the other line. "Hello?" Sean said, "Sean!" I said, "Don't yell, god.=," he said, "Oh, sorry. Sean it's Danielle," I said. "What do you want?" he said, "Can you do me a favor?" I asked, I started to cry as I said this. "Danielle are you okay?" he asked in concern, "Sean can you please take me home after the party?" I asked. "Danielle, I'm not going anymore I'm sorry," he said, "Sean, please?" I was bawling now. "Sorry, Danielle, I can't." he said. I slammed the phone down on the hook and slide down to the floor against the glass and I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath. When I felt better I pulled out the yellow pages again and I looked for Brooks, when I found it I started walking to where the address said.

Chapter Three

By the time I had reached Jimmy's no one had arrived but who could blame them, it was only 4:30, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Jimmy answered as I was wiping off my tears, "What do you want?" he said, "I'm here for the party." I said, "Sean invited me." He looked at me for a little while and then opened the door to let me in. When I opened the door, it was really empty, "I'll help you set up if you want," I said, "Yeah okay," he said. He showed me around and we got out the food and drinks. When we were done we sat on the couch and watched TV, I wasn't really watching, nor do I think he was, we just short of stared in that direction.

Time passed...slowly, but it did. By like 7 everyone that was invited was there. I started dancing and having a good time, I saw that guy that was in my M.I. class, the one with the black hair, he smiled so I smiled back and then I walked down a hall. When I reached the end of the hall there was a room were people were playing the seven minute game, including Jimmy. The seven minute game is short of like spin the bottle, you spin the bottle and who ever you get you have to make out with them in a closet for seven minutes. "Join us," said someone in the circle, I hesitated at first but then I thought what the heck, I sat down next to Jimmy then the door opened again and it was the kid, "What are you fallowing me?" I said, "Come join us, Craig," Jimmy said, "It won't kill you, unless you get Liberty." "Then thank god she's not here," Craig, said laughing, taking a seat, directly across from me.

For a while no one got me and just as I was about to leave Craig got me. "Oh, come on," Jimmy said, I looked at Jimmy like, you're kidding right? He then picked me and Craig up locked up us in the closet. "So we're supposed to make out for seven minutes?" I asked. "Yeah," he said, "Well can we not and say we did?" I asked, I really didn't want to do this, I mean I don't even know the kid. "Well the least we could like kiss, not make out," he said, "Short of like a white lie?" I said, smiling. "Yeah, I guess," he said, then we leaned into kiss, and when I kissed him, I felt like I wasn't there, I felt like I was somewhere else, heaven most likely. When we pulled back I
looked at him and he looked right back with his hazel eyes and somehow I knew he felt the same. He then leaned in to kiss me again, and without thinking we started making out. But, I pulled away about two minutes in, "This is just between you and me," I said, he looked disappointed but I wasn't ready to have a boyfriend yet, at least not right now. When we leaned into kiss again the door opened and the kids started laughing "The whole point of the seven minute game is to make out with the other person," Jimmy said, "We were just about to man," Craig said, I looked up at him, he kept my promise, he didn't tell. I looked at Jimmy then left the room.

When I ran out of the room, I ran into Sean, "Sean!?" I yelled, I couldn't really hear myself over the music, "Danielle!" he said and I smelt alcohol on his breath, "Sean are you drunk?" I asked, "What? Want some?" he said, "Uh, no," I said pushing him out of my way. I pushed through tones of people just to get to the door, when I got to the door there were people in the hall, I felt trapped, I needed time to think about Craig, and the make out session. I turned around and ran into Jimmy's bathroom, I slammed the door and slide down to the floor and I put my head in my hands. I had to think, it looked like Craig, liked me, I mean that was a crazy kiss, I've made out with plenty of people in my life and never felt the way I did when I kissed Craig. I had to think, absorb this all. I looked up at the ceiling fan and took a deep breath. Then I heard a loud crash outside, I opened the bathroom door and everyone was looking at Sean and Jimmy, "Get out!" yelled Jimmy. I walked over to see what happened and there was a liquor bottle broken all over the floor, Sean left but I ran after him. "Sean! Sean!" he turned around and he looked like he was going to beat the shit out of me, why me, I'll never know. "Sean what happened?" I asked, he walked over to me, "The only reason I came was because of you. I don't know why but over the phone it sounded like you were in trouble," he said and I could smell the alcohol on his breath, I just looked at him and he turned away then some really tall girl with blond hair ran past me screaming for Sean, I backed up and ran home.

When I got home I walked through the front door, "I thought you were going to call me?" he yelled at me, I could tell I was going to pay for this. "I didn't feel like going, so I just left, it was nothing., I said walking to my room, when I got to the room, my door was open, "I locked my door!" I yelled at him "Why'd you go in my room!?" "There's no need to yell Danielle." I could feel him breathing on my neck. His hand went around my neck, I felt his boney, dirty, hand slowly make its way down my arm and back up again and down again. I just stood there; I rolled my eyes a few times to keep the tears from coming down. "Did you take your pill today Danielle?" he said whispering in my ear. I quickly moved closing and locking the door behind me, I heard him banging and calling for me, I quickly rushed under my bed and I tried to keep myself from crying, I then heard a loud crash and it was then quite on the other side of the door. I stayed under my bed just in case. After about ten minutes I peeked out of my bed, no one was there, so I started making my way out and then he grabbed me and pulled me up to the bed and all I could do was yell, but no one heard me.

*

I woke up cold and shaking and scared. I looked at the clock it was 12:31 p.m. I looked around the room, my cloths were spread all over, apparently my dad had taken his because I couldn't find them, but I was used to it so it didn't scare me as much as it used to. I got up, wrapping my blanket around me, I picked up my cloths as I heard the shower go on, I hoped he left but I was wrong. I walked over to my dresser and noticed that the door from my room to the bathroom was still open, I closed the bathroom door and opened my medicine case and it was empty. I got dressed and I walked over to the drug store. When I got there I walked around the store aimlessly, I couldn't find the pills. "Can I help?" said a girl whose tag read Amanda. "Um, do you have birth control pills anywhere?" I asked a little shaky. "Aisle six," she said with a smile. "Thank," I said wondering why you'd smile; I got over to the aisle and quickly paid for them at the counter.

I rushed home and on my way I bumped into Craig, "GOD!" I said, "You have a specialty of just turning up out of nowhere," He smiled, "Listen, I was thinking, maybe we could talk about last night," he said, I started walking away "Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about, I said speeding up, "Um, I wasn't the only one in that closet last night, he said trying to catch up to me, I stopped and turned to look at him, "Nothing happened last night, right, Craig? I looked into those hazel eyes again and this time I could tell he was hurt and it hurt me. "I'm sorry, I can't," I said, I looked at him some more and ran away, "HEY! HEY!" I heard him call after but I kept running.

When I got home I found my dad sleeping the newspaper in the dining room, "I hate you!" I said slamming the drug store bag on the table, he looked up at me with drool hanging from his mouth, "I hate you, for everything." I said. "Oh, Danielle don't say that, I'm all you have." He said trying the grab my arm, I picked up the bag and I started to back away from the table, "I don't have anything."

Chapter Four

Time passed since the party and I found out Sean was dating the tall blonde hair girl. I got an invitation in the mail from my friend Dean, he's from Bardell, I went there for about a year, while my dad looked for another job and that's how I wound up at Degrassi, I lived with my aunt at Bardell and her and I got pretty close while lived with her. I called Dean and told him I could go. The weird thing is that I got the invitation the night of the party, maybe they couldn't find me. As soon as I hung the phone up with Dean I got ready for the party. I put my bubble ass jeans on with a brown spaghetti strap top with yellow writing on it that said the Beatles. I grabbed my cell phone which my dad bought for me after Jimmy's party. I found out Jimmy was going to the party so I got a ride from him.

When we arrived there was a lot of people already there, it was crowded, hot, and louder than Jimmy's party. I found a bunch of friends from Bardell, I grabbed a drink and stood there in a circle and talked about everything, which was weird because I had never done that with them before, it was weird but cool I'm mean I think you should be able to talk to your friends about anything. Dean came over and brought Paige, he put his arm around my neck and I just looked at it. "Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked Paige, she of course said yes and he left to get a drink, "You might just want to stay clear, your little to young for him." I said in concern, Dean had a reputation at school of somewhat of a man whore, I would know, he tried to sleep with me once but my friends walked in and helped me out. "And you're a little jealous." she said walking away, I grabbed her arm, "Paige, he's trouble." I said, "I can handle myself, I'm a big girl." she said pulling
her arm away. I looked over at the rest of my friends and they looked back like, oh shit! Paige was in for a world of shock.

*

Monday at school Paige was acting really weird and I asked if she was okay but she just ran off. I was really concerned for her I knew something happened when she left the group I just didn't know what. During M.I. Ashley gave Paige lyrics, they had entered this band competition and actually thought they had a shot at winning, "We can't do this song!" Paige said, I looked up and Paige had the lyrics in her hand, "Why? You said we should do a song that has meaning!" Ashley said, "We can't do this song, you don't know anything about rape." she said and it sounded like she was about to cry, "I researched it, I know a lot more than you do!" Ashley said and with that Paige threw the lyrics and left the room, Ashley fallowed her. After time passed I asked Mr. Simpson if I could go to the washroom, he nodded and I took the pass. On my way to the washroom I passed Paige and Ashley sitting in the hallway and I could hear Paige crying. I ran over and sat on the floor with them, "He did do it? Didn't he? He raped you?" I said, she looked at me and nodded, "It's okay everything’s going to be okay." I said. "Paige, you have to see the guidance counsellor." Ashley said, "No, there's no way." she said, "You have to." I said, "What do you know?" she said. I took a
minute to gather my breath and my guts, "He did it to a friend of mine and we think the only reason she committed suicide is because she didn't tell anyone." I said, she started crying even harder and all me and Ashley could do was hold her tight, and let her know that everything will be fine.

Time passed and Paige saw the guidance counselor just about every day and before I knew we were competing in the school championships, we were the finalist with Bardell. I saw Paige sitting outside and I walked over to her, "What's up?" I said sitting next to her, "I'm not cheering today." she said, "What why?" I said but a part of me knew why, "We're fighting Bardell, I just can't do it." she said, "Yes, you can." I said, putting my arm around her. Then Dean walked over "Hey. What's up?" he said, I gave him a dirty look and me and Paige went inside, except he fallowed us in. "I can't help it if she can't get enough of me." he said, "I was leaving!" she snapped back, she left I just looked at him, "I don't want to see you ever again." I said walking away, "Danielle, why?" he said, "You know why." I said leaving, and I bumped into Spinner, "Spin." I said. "She liked it didn't she, I always she her with that jerk." he said, "What are you talking about Spinner?" I asked. "I know what happened, I'm not dumb." he said, "Well it's not like that." I said walking away and when I looked back I could tell Spinner knew what I meant, or at least he tried to understand.

I walked into the gym and looked for someone I knew, I found Craig and sat next to him. "What'd I miss?" I asked, he looked at me, "Nothing." he said short of ticked off, but who wasn't, it was championships and nothing exciting had yet to happen. And as soon as I decided I should leave J.T., who was the team mascot, stormed in and just started betting up Dean, "J.T!" I yelled at him and Craig looked shocked, worse then I did. I ran over to J.T. and Dean and helped Coach Armstrong take J.T. off Dean. Coach Armstrong yelled at them to leave and Paige and Spinner fallowed J.T. and Dean outside, I then fallowed after. When I got outside Spinner had pushed Dean up to the school bus and Paige said, "I'm coming after you this time! For good!" Spinner let go and Dean walked on to the bus and I ran over and gave the middle finger to Dean, then Spinner pulled me back saying it wasn't worth it.

Chapter Five

We were having a dance coming up and since I had no one to go with I figured why not be on the dance committee. I went to homeroom but something felt different about it. "Students have an announcement to make. Over the weekend Craig Manning's father died, he won’t be back for the rest of the year." said Mr. Simpson. I looked around at everyone and everyone was looking at everyone else, I then looked at Craig’s seat, then I heard Ashley say something about a flower donation. Then I felt Marco looking at me, I looked at him and gave him a smile, a weak one but a smile. The door opened and I turned around, it was Craig, he walked in with a big smile on his face like nothing had happened, he took his seat and the announcements went on, I looked back and him and he just smiled.

I called Sean after school and he said that he was going to Craig's dad’s funeral; I asked if I could join, to least show my respect. I showed up at the funeral and I met up with Sean and Emma outside, "Is he here yet?" I asked, "Yeah, they're inside." Emma said and I fallowed her inside. I took a seat next to Ashley and Sean and Emma sat in front of us. During the ceremony Craig had sudden outburst of laughter and him and his step dad, Joey, got up and left. When he left, he looked right at me laughing, I just looked at him like what the hell, I watched him leave, as did everyone else there.

When I arrived home there was a note on the kitchen table saying my dad went to work and should be back late, I smiled and threw the note out. I went into my room and picked up my medicine case and just looked at it, then at the door, then the case, then my bed, then I popped one in my mouth, just in case, I told myself. I then opened my dresser draws and looked for anything that looked tropical. I eventually found something that I thought would have to do and left.

When I arrived at the dance, no one was there yet, only the dance committee. I set up my booth and then I helped Ashley with the finishing touches on the decorations. Then slowly but surly people started arriving. I took their tickets and stamped there hands and repeatedly had to say "Make sure you vote for king and queen." When Craig came I asked Terri to take over and I pulled Craig aside. "Craig are you okay?" I asked in concern, "My dad died, I'm great." He said, kissing my cheek, he left and I stood there in shock. I walked back over to the booth and took everyone else’s tickets and stamped their hands and I did this for about an hour straight.

Here and there I'd have to take someone else’s ticket but for the most part I sat there and spoke to Terri. And when she went inside to meet up with her friends I sat there and wondered what I could be doing inside the gym, how much fun I could be having and how I'd be with. I thought about Craig, but I didn't like him, I couldn't like him, not now anyways and who wants to go out with someone like me anyways? When Terri came she said I had to vote for king and queen. I went in the gym and for the first time in a while I felt I at home, people were laughing, smiling and having a good time and I smiled, I guess because I felt somewhat responsible for making all this come to life. I got to the voting booth and again saw my "lovely" Toby. "Hey, um, where do I vote?" I asked really wanting to just leave him and his "girlfriend" alone, "Click on who you want to win, it's that simple." he said pointing to the computer. I walked over to the computer and scrolled down the list, Paige and Spinner, Jimmy and Hazel, Craig and Ashley, Craig and Ashley? I voted for Craig and Ashley, I mean it's Craig, he's a good
friend of mine.

I walked back outside and helped Terri take a couples ticket, then from outside I heard Mr. Simpson say it was time to announce the new king and queen. I sat there and waited for what felt like forever and then finally I heard "Ashley Kerwin and Craig Manning!" I smiled and continued reading a magazine Terri picked up for me when she went to get a soda. I read this really interesting article in there about this boy and how he molested his FOUR year old sister. Then Craig came storming out of the gym crying, I stood up and watched him tear down the dance poster. Everyone came out of the gym in shock and Ashley kept screaming for Craig. At one point he got all tangled up in the poster and he ran off, Mr. Raditch told us to stay behind but I ran after him anyway. I found him at the end of some hall and he was punching a some pole in the middle of the glass, the punches started getting slower and slower and I slowly kept getting closer and closer. He stopped punching the wall and slide down to the floor and he too put his head in his hands. I sat down right next to him, he was crying, "When my mom died," I said, and he looked at me, tears stopped and he looked concern, "I was at school and we were playing red rover when a teacher came out and told me and I went around the rest of the day like nothing happened, until I went home and realize that she was gone." I said, "You have a knack for keeping things a secret don't you?" he said, "I guess so." I said, "But, I wanted him gone, so why am I crying now because he is?" he said and he started crying some more. I toke a long pause, I didn't like my dad, I hated him, but I don't how I'd feel once he died so I felt wrong for saying something, but I did anyway, "Because you loved him."

Chapter Six

            The summer was long, really long. Being the new kid in town has its ups and downs. Since I really didn't know anyone I spent most of the summer days with my dad and he made me do all shorts of weird things that I hated. However, when I did leave my dad I would go to Sean's house and hang out with him and Emma and his brother Tracker, and every once and while Craig would stop by. Actually over the summer me and Craig got really close, so close he's like my best friend, the kind that you could go to for anything, well almost anything...Since I became really good friends with Craig, I too became good friends with Jimmy, Ashley, Spinner and Marco and even Ellie. Craig, Spinner, Jimmy and Marco even started a band that was pretty good once they learned how to play the instruments.  I even found out that Craig’s father used to beat him and that was the only reason why he was living with his step dad, Joey.

            Craig and Ashley became a couple over the summer, ever since the dance they've been really close and Marco and Ellie were always a couple so my chance with Marco was shot right out the door. Spinner and Paige even became a couple, he was there for Paige when she was raped so I think that's one of the main reasons, it doesn't have to be but there’s something inside me saying he's just there because he helped her out. I was the only loser in town with out a date! Well Jimmy didn't have anyone but I don't think I could really go out with him, I mean considering how he was not so attractive in his ghetto set up.

            Before I knew it school was starting and part of me was not so happy, I mean it's school the only people I know that like school is Toby and his friend Liberty so they don't even count, they're dorks!  So the first day of school wasn't at all thrilling, I mean Craig and Emma didn't even show up and if you think it drove me up the wall, I feel bad for Sean. I mean his girlfriend is out there gallivanting off with another guy, Craig for that matter!

            The day sucked and for the first day you would think other wise but, no. And, going home didn't help either. When I entered my house, I took a long smell of it; it smelt like my mom, vanilla and cinnamon. I threw my bag on the table and noticed new messages on the machine,

I pushed the mailbox button, "Mr. Smyth, It's Mr. Jones, I have to talk-" I stopped playing the message, it was for my dad. I went into my room and there was two cardboard boxes sitting on my bed, with a letter from my aunt on top. I opened the letter and it read:

            My Sweet Danielle,

                        I was going through a couple of my things when I found these boxes in the back of your room closet. I though you might like them, considering they were yours. Good luck in your new home town, see you real soon.

                                    Maggie

            I put my letter on my dresser and opened the box. The box had things from when I was a little kid, also things from Wasaga and Bardell, like the places I visited and tickets of things I did like going to the movies. When I finished going through the boxes I noticed an even smaller one at the bottom of one of the boxes. I grabbed in and took the box, but I didn't open it, I just stared. When I opened the box there was a little porcelain doll in there, purple dress with white lace, long brown hair, I noticed a tag on her wrist.

            My Sweet Danielle,

                        Merry Christmas

            I remembered where the doll was from. When I was about two maybe three, my mom gave me a little porcelain doll and she said that it was her favorite doll growing up and it's name was, Danielle Clarice Ranoldee.

Chapter Seven

One day I was chilling out with Craig on the steps talking to him about how he took Emma to go see her Dad and out of the corner of my eye I saw Emma with her very best friend Manny. "Ew, Manny, hon, if you're going to go for the poor people look at least add some spice, like a great detective hat and converse help too," I said to her, she looked over at me and I just gave her a smile and she walked over to me. "This year I don't want to be cute, I wanna be hot." she said, "Well for starters, get rid of the coat." I said, and as soon as I said it, she took off her coat to reveal this tight baby blue sweats, my jaw dropped and all Craig could get out was "Wow." Manny went from ugly to hot in less than two point five seconds, Emma was stunned too. And as Manny walked into the school everyone stared at her in shock, actually it was the same stare I got when I walked into the school for the first day. I looked over at Craig who still had his jaw dropped, "That's impressive." I said, "That's hot." he said, I slapped his arm, "Ow, what was that for?" he yelped holding his arm where I slapped him, "You have a girlfriend, remember?"

When I entered the school I saw Paige and Spinner sitting on some of the steps up to the gym. I walked over to them, “Danielle.” said Paige, “Paige!” I replied as if I was a cheerleader, she sort of rolled her eyes at me, and I just proudly smiled, she was a cheerleader, I was relentless. “What are you doing after school?” she asked as if she wanted me to do something. “Anything for you Paige.” I said, with a fake smile on my face, I knew I was in for something, “What are you talking about? I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the beach with me, my brother, Marco, Spinner, Hazel, Jimmy and Ellie, please I really want you there.” I looked at Spinner, how shrugged his shoulders, then at Paige, then I rolled my eyes. “Thank you! I’ll pick you up at your place.” she said giving me a hug then she and Spinner left I watched them walk down the hall and wondered how nice it must be to have a boyfriend.

When I got home I looked through my dresser to see if I had put away any of my suits, I didn’t so I got into this white and blue stripe two piece, it’s really cute. I pulled out my flip-flops and waited on my front steps for Paige to show up, after a while of waiting on the steps a green van pulled up and the horn honked and Marco was in the front seat. I waved, grabbed my things and went to the back of the car where Paige opened the door for me, “Treated like royalty.” I said hopping into the back with Jimmy, Hazel, Ellie, Spinner and Paige. When I got into the car Paige introduced me to her brother Dylan, “He’s cute.” I whispered in Paige’s ear, “He’s gay.”

When we arrived at the beach it was pretty quite, we were like the only people there. It was kind of sad, I mean it was a cold summer-ish day and we played volleyball because the water was too cold that day. I noticed Marco was fallowing Ellie and it didn’t look like the conversation was going well, when just Ellie came back I went looking for Marco. I eventually found Marco on some rocks down by the water, “Wanna talk?” I said taking a seat next to him and he just turned and looked at me. “Okay, we don’t have to, we can just sit here.” I said as I was wiping my hands from the dirty rocks, “Nice view.” He didn’t even urn to look at me. “You know when a friend offers you help, or support, nine times out of ten you’re suppose to take up the offer.” I angrily said, he turned and looked at me, “Marco are you okay?”

”No.”

”What? Why what happened?”

“Ellie and me broke up.”

”Oh, Marco I’m so sorry.” Actually I wasn’t, I mean he’s super cute, has a great sense in style and his a real down to earth short of guy. “Marco?”

”What, Danielle?”

”Did you ever consider, maybe you and me?” He looked at me and smiled, it looked real and fake at the same time but the smile made me smile back, he nodded, “So…” he nodded again, I smiled and looked out into the ocean. Were we together, I wasn’t sure, it seemed that way but you never know I mean there guys, you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

Chapter Eight

The next day at school I ran into Spinner and Paige outside school. “Hey guys what’s up?” they looked at me, “Okay, so today we decided to hold a grudge against Danielle, I get it…Why?” I asked, I was really worried I mean yesterday Paige was like begging me to join and today they were like, ‘um…nice seeing you too.’ “Marco.” said Spinner, I smiled and looked at Paige, “I’m so proud of you hon.” She said giving me a hug, “Me and Spin have been trying to hook him up for a while now and nothing seemed to work, we’re so happy for you. But there’s one problem.”

Spinner and I fallowed Paige into the school building, “Dylan thinks Marco might be gay.” she replied, “What?” said Spinner, “That’s impossible he’s been with Ellie…Dani.” Paige continued walking quickly, “No there has to be some mistake.” he said quickly catching up to Paige, he grabbed her shoulder and quickly turned her around. “Look, Dylan’s gay he has an instinct for these things.” replied Paige, “Well he should know he’s gay.” as soon as I said that the bell rang and I started to walk away, “Apparently I have a thing for gay guys.” I turned around and left Paige and Spinner to argue about in the hall.

Before the bell rang for M.I. to start, Paige came over to my computer,“This afternoon, dinner, movies, with Marco.” she said, I looked up at her only to see the biggest smile I’ve seen on Paige in the longest time. “I hate that you do know that, right?” I said blinking my eyes several times, “Hate what sweet potato?” she said with another boost of confidence. “That attitude in your voice that convinces people to do whatever you say, it drives me crazy.” I said, she smiled and walked away, “What movie?!” I called back and she made her hand into a phone signifying ‘call me.’

I meet up with everyone at the Dot, which is the restaurant that we’ve discovered a new fondness for; it was like the place to be on the weekends, the tween hangout I like to call it. When I arrived Spinner, Paige and Marco were already there, “Sorry I couldn’t go to the movies.” I said taking my seat in the booth, “Oh, a double date with Paige and Spinner, the tongue linking couple…sorry Marco.” “What’s there to apologize for hon? Soon you and Marco will be doing the same.” I laughed at Paige’s lame attempt at a joke and looked over at Marco who didn’t look so pleased. “I’m gonna get a drink anyone want anything?” said Marco leaving the booth, “I’ll have a soda, Pepsi.” I replied.

As Marco ordered the drinks Spinner got up and fallowed and puller Marco outside, me and Paige could here them argue from inside. “What is your problem man!?”

“I don’t have a problem Spin.”

”Oh yeah!? Marco, you have beautiful Danielle inside and all you could do is ask if she wants a drink! What’s your problem man!?”

“I can’t do it okay. It’s none of your business.”

”Why? Cause you still have feelings for Ellie?”

“No.”

”Then why!?”

“Because Spin.”

“Because why!?”

“Because I’m gay!”

Chapter Nine

Since Marco came out of the closet all Spinner could do was say how stupid it was and that he didn’t believe him. It didn’t bother anyone else that Marco was gay, it just bothered Spinner in a big way. Me and Marco, we’re history too, just good friends.

At school on Monday I literally ran into Jimmy on my way to lunch and he told me that Spinner had written ‘Marco is gay’ on the bathroom walls. I felt like I was going to cry. Marco is gay so what? He can’t help who he likes. When I saw Spinner at lunch I got so frustrated that I quickly walked over slamming my books on the table, “Marco is gay! Couldn’t think of anything better!?” I yelled at him and he jus looked at me in shock, “Tell me did it feel good when you wrote that!? Did it!?” he didn’t answer me he just looked at me scared. I leaned over the table and looked at him at eye level, “What are you going to write next? I’m Jewish? Hazel’s Muslim? Jimmy’s black?” and I walked away.

During the rest of week I noticed what looked like a little spark between Marco and Paige’s brother Dylan and let me tell you something, I felt so proud, it was like my baby was going to get his first boyfriend, well that’s what it felt like to me, anyways. Paige ran into me in the library as I was thinking up of a plan to make Marco and Dylan go out. She told me that while me and Marco were “going out,” we promised to go to her brother’s hockey game so that’s all she was reminding me about. I said I’d go, I mean I paid for the ticket, might as well show up and Jimmy was going, and Paige was going, and Craig was going too so I wouldn’t be alone.

When we arrived at the hockey game Marco had not yet shown up, “Who cares?” said Spinner repeatedly, “He’s your best friend you shouldn’t care if he was gay or not.” I kept telling Spinner but of course it didn’t get through to him. Before the hockey game started I called Marco who said he was five blocks away and would be there soon, the buzzer sounded and we all went in to take our seats.

At half time there was still no sign of Marco, “Jimmy?” I leaned over to him, “Call Marco.” He did and it said that the number was disconnected. Jimmy and I told everyone we were just getting a drink and left to find Marco. We looked everywhere for him inside the building and he wasn’t there, “Where did he say he was last?” Jimmy asked me pushing through the crowd, “He said he was five blocks away but that was like twenty minutes ago!” I tried calling Marco’s phone again and it still said that the number was disconnected, “Lets go.” said Jimmy, “Where are we going?” I replied quickly fallowing him, “To find Marco.”

We walked five blocks in every direction and the last block we go to we saw these guys beating someone up and Jimmy being the brave guy he his had to break up the fight, “HEY! HEY!” Jimmy yelled at them while they ran away, and what was on the floor in a little curled up ball was Marco. “Damn it Marco are you okay?” I said helping him up, and just when I did a cop car pulled up and thought we beat him up! We told the cops that we were friends with him and just helped him up, “What happened?” the cop asked, “Someone bashed Marco.” said Jimmy, the cop looked at Marco and then she helped clear out the cuts.

When the cops were done with Marco, we went back to the hockey game and they were just starting the third quarter. When we got to our seats everyone was freaking out about were we have been. “Fags beat up Marco.” I said taking my seat, “I though Marco was the queer.” said Spinner, Paige slapped him, I laughed and I saw Marco attempt a smile. I could tell that Marco was seriously hurt about it. These guys beat up Marco for who he was, and that was wrong.

Chapter Ten

Following Marco’s bashing was a little weird but I guess seeing other people in school helped a little. Considering Marco was Sean’s friend I figured I better mention something before “bad guy” Sean said something he shouldn’t have. When I entered the cafeteria I saw Emma but no Sean, I walked over and sat at her table, “Where’s Sean?” I asked, and instead of answering she looked behind me. I turned around to see who she was looking at and I saw Sean with a group of people, one of the guys was really hot “Excuse me a sec.” I said getting up from the table, I walked over to Sean’s table were everyone was laughing and having a good time, “Hey boys.” I said leaning up against the table, they looked up at my like what the hell? “Um, this is my friend Dani.” Sean said taking tough, I held my hand out to shake but no one did, they looked at the hand then up at me. “Is she cool?” said the hot guy, “She’s cool.” said Sean, then the hot guy gave me a hand shake and moved down on the bench, “Jay.” He said, I smiled a took a seat and before I knew it, I was in.

After lunch I was looking in my locker for my history notes and I couldn’t find them anywhere. I slammed my locker shut and Spinner was behind the door, “Fuck!” I said not to loud so the teachers could hear but loud enough that he got my point. He held up my history binder, I looked at it in shock and relief, “You gave it to me so I could copy the notes remember?” he said handing me my binder. I looked at him like I don’t remember things Spin, he handed the binder over, “Listen, I’m holding a surprise Sweet 16 party at Ashley’s for Paige…” I cut him off because I knew what he was going to say, “And I’m invited and it would mean the world to Paige if I showed up.” I said and he nodded, I looked at him and said I’d go, “Great, Friday night, Ashley’s don’t be late, it’s at like 7.” He said taking off, “It’s at like 7!?” I yelled at him, he nodded and continued down the hall.

When I reached history there was a note on the door about sending a rose-a-gram. For the rose-a-gram you sent a rose, or roses, to the person you loved, I looked at them knowing that I would never buy or receive one. I ripped the note off the door and threw it in the garbage, the bell rang, I took my seat and the lesson began. When the class ended I practically ran to my next class. On my way there I saw Marco and Craig so I ran to catch up, “Well do you love her?” Marco said, “Oh, are you guys officially a couple?” I said in that cute baby voice, holding on to his arm. He looked down at me then at Marco, “That’s a really powerful word.” he said, “Three words.” I said, smiling, “Wait so you didn’t say anything?” I said letting go of his arm, he nodded no and then Manny pasted us, said something, I was to busy by how slutty she had turned. When she left Marco said, “Manny’s just putting it all out there.” “Never noticed.” Craig said sarcastically walking up the stairs, “What if you sent her a rose-a-gram.” I told Craig. “To Manny?” he replied surprisingly, “No jackass…Ashley.” I walked over to the rose-a-gram and paid for Craig’s flowers, “Make that a dozen.” he said putting the money on the table, I smiled and he signed the card. Everything was right with the world.

The next day in homeroom everyone received flowers. I sat next to Ashley in homeroom and I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face once she got all the roses. She received the roses with a big smile on her face and then the second she read the card the smile turned upside down, “What’s your problem, hon? You have a dozen roses in your greedy lap. I haven’t even gotten one.” She gave me a rose and read the card aloud, “Ashley. You rock! XOX Craig.” Ashley and I looked at Craig with sadness in our eyes and he had sadness too, however he tried not to show it as much as we did. When the bell rang for homeroom to end, Ashley quickly left the room and as I followed I threw my rose out, a part of me didn’t want it because it was Ashley’s and it just felt wrong, with what Craig said and everything. When I threw the rose out I felt like someone was watching me, I turned around but no one, it was probably me just losing my mind, I mean I was stressed out so that could be a reason.

The next day Craig looked kind of upset, I grabbed on his shoulder and turned him around, “Um, what’s your problem?” I said kind of ticked off, “Ashley dumped me.” he said walking away and I all I could do was stand there and feel bad for him. I mean I know he didn’t write anything on the card that’s “boyfriend” material but Ashley didn’t have to go and break up with him, I mean the least she could have done was given him a chance. I saw Ashley pass me as I stood in the way and watched Craig walk away, I was determined to set them back up. “Ashley!” I said, she turned around, “Why did you do that? You could’ve at least given him a chance, it takes time to tell someone that you love them, be patient with them. Love is based on patience and trust, and honesty.” She came closer to me, “I dumped him because he wasn’t doing anything, that’s my problem. Now if you’d excuse me I’m late for class.” I stood there upset even more and I don’t know, I felt bad for the both of them, I couldn’t take a side, they were both my friends,

I didn’t know what to do now.

During lunch I thought about what I should do and I still felt like I had to set them up! I saw Craig on the lunch line so I ran over to talk to him. “Craig!” I said, he turned around, “What?” he said really pissed off, “Not having a good day?” I said, he turned back around and continued to walk to his lunch table. “Alright, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Craig I think you and Ashley should get back together.” I can’t believe it came out of my mouth that easily. “Like what? She hates me already?” he said and I could hear in his voice on how much he didn’t want to talk about Ashley. “I don’t know. You can figure something out. I mean you’re…” I couldn’t finish my sentence because I was going to say amazing but I didn’t want thinking that I liked him. “I’m what?” he said, “Did you ever think of writing a poem? A song?” and when I said that he stopped walking, “Telling her in your way on how you feel…maybe…” I stood there for a minute and then Craig took a seat a pulled out a piece of paper and started writing, and I smiled, I felt like my work here was done.

I saw Paige walking down the hall after school with two giant bags filled with clothes. I ran up to her and grabbed one of the bags, “Clothes drive?” she nodded no, “Cheerleader uniforms for this year.” I was stunned I didn’t know that that many people were cheerleaders. “Where are they going?” She pointed, with her head, at the gym. We opened the door and Craig was playing his song in front of Ashley. Manny came and her and I looked stunned at what Craig was capable of.

Somethin' bout the way you shine

When the lights go out

I'm gonna make you mine

Somethin' 'bout the way it seems

You're always here in my dreams

When there's no one there

No, I'm not scared

But I'm in love

With you

It was actually a really nice song. Before I knew Craig and Ashley were back together, thanks to me. The rest of the week was a drag but when I Friday came around I couldn’t have been happier. I was really excited about Paige’s birthday. Everyone one arrived and it was a huge turn out. I helped Ashley bake the cake and let me tell you, we did a really good job. At one point Spinner blew up one of those narrow balloons and it hit me right in the head. Then Ashley pulled Craig outside, and being the little sneak I am, I accidentally heard their conversation.

”First you con me into sleeping with you then you go and tell Spinner!”

“I didn’t con you into having sex with me.”

“No, then what was that song about?”

“It was telling you I love you, the only way I know how.”

“You’re lying!

”That wasn’t a lie!”

“Wrong! Cause you don’t really love me!” I was shocked at what Ashley just said, I mean he said so in the song. Craig came storming in the house and ignored me as I tried to get his a attention. When he got his stuff he just left the party and everyone watched the door as if some way he’d apologize and come back, but nothing. Manny then followed Craig and everyone looked at me like I was to blame. However I short of felt like I was because I made them get back together now look, Craig is getting chased down the street by some slut…that shouldn’t bother him much but you never know. Some how deep down inside me I felt like I just screwed something up…big time.