WBT Six to Ten

Sean turned around and decided to stay. Even after how bad he treated Emma she still decided to help him which made him realize that she still cared.

“Alright Em. You are right I did come because I have something else to tell you. Manny I guess you can listen to but you have to swear on your life that you won’t tell anyone. Please?” Sean pleaded. “Alright I won’t tell anyone,” Manny said laughing a little. “Manny. This is serious. Stop laughing or you can go upstairs,” Emma snapped. “Sorry Em. But yes I swear on my life I won’t tell anyone Sean.” Then all three of them walked over to Emma’s bed and sat down.

Sean told them how he went to the doctors after school and they said that his Leukemia was getting worse and worse each day. He had even blacked out while he was in the doctors office. Sean told them that he didn’t know what to do. He was scared. He was afraid that he was going to die and leave the ones he loved. Sean was so afraid that he would never get to admit his true feelings for this one special person. Once Sean finished telling them everything he realized that Manny and Emma were crying really hard. Sean couldn’t take it. He hated seeing people cry especially if it was because of him. So he got off of the bed and starting walking towards the basement window but then Emma got off of the bed and stopped him. They stood there looking in each other’s eyes for a few minutes before Emma hugged him. Manny was still crying and in shock but she decided to go upstairs to leave Emma and Sean alone. When they pulled apart from their huge they didn’t even realize Manny was gone until they walked back over to Emma’s bed.

“Emma I’m scared. What if I never get to see all the people I love again? What if-“ Emma cut him off. “Sean please don’t. I’m scared too. I’m scared of a lot of things like me not being able to tell you things you really need to know but don’t think like that. Snake always thought like that and then he thought he was going to die and he made a will. It scared me half to death. I don’t want it to be like that with you. It can’t be. Even though you don’t have what Snake had maybe your Leukemia could go into remission or something. But you just can’t die Sean. You can’t,” Emma said crying into his shoulder. Sean felt tears forming in his eyes and didn’t even bother to hide them. One by one the tears fell down his cheeks. “Emma I hope you are right. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t see the ones I love again,” He said crying. Emma saw the tears fall from his eyes which made her cry even harder. About a half an hour later Manny came back down and her eyes were still puffy from crying. Sean decided it was best if he left. He told Emma he would call her if he needed anything or just drop by.

Emma and Manny just sat on Emma’s bed talking about what it would be like if Sean really did die. It was so hard to think like that and you could tell it was because they cried even harder. Soon enough they cried themselves to sleep.

Chapter Seven

When Sean gets home he found a very unhappy Ellie sitting there waiting for him. That’s when he remembered. Sean forgot to tell her he was going out. The least he could have done was leave her a note or something.

“Ellie what are you doing up? It’s late. You should be in bed,” Sean said. “Funny. I was just about to ask you the same thing. But at least I was home the whole time unlike you,” she said in a bitchy voice. “Sorry Ellie,” he said feeling guilty. “You should be. By the way Alex stopped by a few hours ago.” “Okay? Thanks for telling me I guess,.” he said confused. “Well she dropped by for me. To tell me she saw you walking somewhere. She said she followed you to Emma’s house and saw you go in her basement window. Sean what’s going on? Do you love her? Are you cheating on me?” Ellie said pissed off. “Ellie I wasn’t cheating on you and I don’t love her,” he said. But he was lying. Tonight was the first time in a long time that he realized he still had feelings for Emma. “Then what the hell were you doing at her house?” She said demandingly. “I can’t tell you that.” “What? You can’t tell me? Why? You obviously were cheating on me then Sean.” “Ellie I wasn’t. I just can’t tell you okay? You will start cutting again,” Sean realized what he just said and tried to say sorry but she slapped him across the face. “How dare you say that Sean. I haven’t cut in a really long time. But at least I don’t get fucking high,” she said yelling really loud. “Ellie that was twice back in Wasaga. I was depressed okay? It was two times. When you get depressed you cut what five times? Big difference Ellie. Really big difference,” Sean yelled just as loud back. “Whatever. I don’t care. I have stopped cutting and the reason you were at Emma’s isn’t going to make me start up again Sean,” Ellie said a little bit calmer. “I don’t care Ellie. I am still not telling you.” “Oh fine. But you can tell that slutty bitch and not me? I am your girlfriend Sean not her. And if you were her boyfriend she would probably have five others on the side,” Ellie screamed. “Don’t ever talk about her like that again. She’s my friend Ellie. And she is the only one who can help me right now. Not even Suave can help me. So just drop it. Emma is my friend and I went by her house to tell her something important that I found out today and Manny ended up being there. They may have been or still are known as sluts but they understand what I am going through right now and they want to help me Ellie,” Sean yelled. “I want to help you to but you won’t even tell me what’s wrong.” “That’s because I can’t trust you Ellie. It’s my secret okay. Manny wasn’t even supposed to know but she happened to be at her house. But if I tell you then you will start cutting Ellie that’s how bad this is. So just drop it. You know it’s serious and that it’s really bad which is all you need to know. That’s already too much information,” Sean yelled and then stormed off into his room. “Whatever Sean. I won’t cut again. I only did that because of my mom. You aren’t my mom Sean.” Ellie yelled and then walked over to the couch and started to cry. Why couldn’t Sean tell her what was happening? Why was it that his ex girlfriend and the biggest slut of Degrassi got to know and not her? Did he really trust them more than her – his own girlfriend? All these thoughts were running through Ellie’s head as she fell asleep. When she woke up she saw Sean sitting at the table eating breakfast. Ellie just thought it would be best to ignore him for a while. They both said a lot last night and they still needed to cool off from it.

Chapter Eight

The next day at school was kind of weird. Chris wasn’t with Emma, Manny, and JT which made it seem awkward because it was usually the four of them not three. Sean and Ellie weren’t talking. They were trying to ignore each other for the whole day and so far it was working.

Manny, JT, and Emma are already sitting in their seats in Media Immersion when Chris and Sean walk in about five minutes late. Mr. Simpson gave Chris a detention for the following day as well as Sean. There were only two seats left in the class. One was next to Emma and the other one was in the back. Sean quickly went to the back. Now he could have sat next to Emma but he still wasn’t fully calmed down about he and Ellie’s fight the night before so he thought it would be best to stay away from Emma. This meant that Chris had to sit next to Emma. He gave her a disgusted look and then sat down. Emma on the other hand just ignored it.

“So Manny do you think he will, you know, be okay?” Emma asked. She was talking about Sean but she didn’t want to say his name out loud. “I hope so Em. I mean I knew he was a jerk before but I think that that was the reason why. It might not have been but who knows?” Manny whispered. “Well what if he blacks out in school or something? That would be so embarrassing. I would like die,” Emma whispered back to Manny. “I know and I would feel so bad for him. But you just have to think positive okay? Be happy he came to you with this. I don’t know many people who would go to their…” Manny was about to say ex but then saw that Chris was listening. “Manny you were saying?” Emma asked confused. “Chris is listening to our conversation and if I say what I was about to say he will know who we are talking about.” Emma just nodded and looked over at Chris. He was listening to their conversation. Then Mr. Simpson got her attention by saying that he had to go to the copy room so the class would be left alone for about ten minutes. That’s when Chris decided to talk.

“Hey everyone. Did you all know about Emma? You know the whole ravine slut thing?” Chris said loud enough for the whole class to hear him. “Chris stop,” Emma said getting mad. “Why? I bet you never told Jay once to stop. Maybe you liked it or maybe you just wanted to be the new Degrassi slut. Take Manny’s place,” Chris said and then laughed afterwards. “Chris shut up. You’re a terrible DJ.\,” Manny shouted. “Butt out Santos.” “Weren’t you the one who just called me a slut? I think you brought me into this DJ,” Manny yelled to him. “Whatever. Anyway, all you guys up in here just go touch Emma’s ass or something and she might just give you a blow job. Who knows? I mean isn’t that what Jay did to you?” Chris said laughing once again. “Shut up Sharpe,” Sean yelled. Everyone turned to the back of the room to see a very angry Sean. “And what are you going to do about it Slim Shady?” Chris said in a cocky voice. “You really want to know?” Sean said walking over to Chris. “Sean don’t. Please don’t,” Emma said. “Emma stay out of it.” Sean said. “Why Sean? You are just going to get in trouble or suspended.” “Who cares?” Chris said. “Shut up Chris. No one asked you,” Emma yelled back. “Emma I don’t care. No one insults people I care about and get away with it,” Sean said and then realized that it came out wrong. It sounded like he was in love with her or something. “Aw isn’t that cute? Slim Shady is in love with the ravine slut. Who would have guessed it?” Chris laughed then quickly stopped laughing when Sean’s fist hit his nose. Then Chris punched him in the stomach and so on. The fight quickly got worse and worse. Sean hit Chris in the face about five times and the stomach about ten. Then Chris must have punched Sean in the nose about six times and in the stomach about eight times. By the time Mr. Simpson came back and pulled them apart they were covered in blood. They were both sent to the nurse’s office to get cleaned up and then straight to Mr. Raditch.

Throughout the day the only thing that was talked about was Chris and Sean’s fight and how it was over things Chris said about Emma. Ellie was a little mad about that but she knew that Emma and Sean were supposedly friends now and that he would have done it for anyone of his friends. But what no one talked about was what Sean said to Chris and to the rest of his class. He said that no one gets away with insulting people he cares about. That was replaying over and over in both Emma and Sean’s heads.

Finally the day was over and Emma could go home. She was sick of everyone looking at her because of the stupid fight. What she was sick most of was seeing what Chris did to Sean. She hated that Chris did that to Sean because of her. Emma was mad at herself in a way because if she had just let Chris walk all over her then maybe Sean wouldn’t have gotten involved. Chris and Sean didn’t get suspended but they did have two months of Saturday, Tuesday, and Wednesday detention. It sucked but it was better than getting suspended.

When Emma got home she decided to go online. She was hoping Manny would be on but she wasn’t. Instead she saw that JT, Chris, and Sean were on. Just as she was about to sign off an IM popped up. It was Sean’s.

whocares: Em I’m so sorry about today. Are you okay?

sparklespaz: Sure. I mean it wasn’t like the whole school was looking at me.

whocares: Come on Emma. It wasn’t my fault.

sparklespaz: Are you sure? If I recall correctly you hit him first.

whocares: He was talking bad about you.

sparklespaz: I can take care of myself thank you very much.

whocares: Emma don’t be like that. I was just trying to protect you.

sparklespaz: I don’t need damn protecting but what was with that whole people I care about thing? Who are you trying to fool Sean? You may care about your friends, family, and girlfriend but I don’t fit into any of those categories. We aren’t friends Sean. Just because you came to me with your stupid secret doesn’t mean we are automatically friends you know?

whocares: I’m not trying to fool anyone Emma. I do care about you. Even if you don’t feel the same way back I consider you one of my friends. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have gone to you with my “stupid” secret. I trust you okay? Is that so hard to believe?

sparklespaz: Actually yes it is. You always think I am going to come back to you and be there for you but what if this time I don’t want too? What are you going to do? I trusted you before Sean and look what you did to me. You broke my heart not once, not twice but three times. Hm in grade seven when you pushed me, the grade after that when you ditched me for your wannabe gangster friends and then back in Wasaga Beach. You left when I needed you the most Sean. Why else do you think I did what I did with Jay? It wasn’t because I wanted to you know. It was because he was the only one who could get my mind off of the shooting. If you were here then I wouldn’t have done that. I could have gone to you.

whocares: Fine Emma. Be that way. But it isn’t my fault you did that with Jay. If I had stayed you would have probably ignored me and done it with him anyway. So it doesn’t really matter. And I know I broke your heart okay? But that was in the past and on the beach I apologized for it and you accepted my apology. I don’t get why you are bringing up the past again when you said you forgave me. But fine whatever. I won’t come to you with my stupid secret anymore. I bet you would like it if I just died right here right now. Make your life better. Well thanks for nothing Em.

When Emma finished reading what Sean said she was about to respond when he signed off. That wasn’t true at all. She didn’t want him to die and if he did it would make her life a living hell not better. Now she felt pissed at herself for saying things she didn’t mean. She wanted to help Sean. She cared about him. Not in a loving type of way, at least she didn’t think so, but she still cared about him. Deep down inside she was happy that Sean trusted her enough to come to her with his secret. It made her feel wanted by him again. Even if it wasn’t a girlfriend type of want it still made her feel good.

Chapter Nine

The next day was going by slow for Emma. Chris was still being an ass to her about the whole ravine thing and to top it off he wouldn’t stop talking about how Sean said he cared about her. Now Sean might not have meant it in a loving type of way but Chris sure made it out to be like that. The worst part of her day so far was that Ellie and Sean were finally talking again. Emma saw them in the lunch room really close together. So close that if you lightly pushed one of them they would fall into the other and wind up kissing. It disgusted Emma so much that she had to leave the lunch room. Normally this wouldn’t bother her but for some reason it did. When she walked out of the lunch room she bumped into Jay.

“Watch where you are going you-“ Jay stopped when he saw it was Emma. “Oh sorry Green I mean Emma,” Jay said with a smile. “Sure Jay. Sorry I bumped into you.” Then she walked away. Jay knew something was wrong because normally she would flip him off or tell him to go away but this time she didn’t. Jay decided to follow her. “Wait up Emma.\,” Jay said as he finally caught up to her. “What now?” Emma snapped. “Whoa sorry. It’s just you don’t seem like yourself that’s all,” Jay said sounding concerned. “Ha. And you almost sound concerned,” Emma said with a little laugh. “That’s because I am Emma.” “Well don’t be okay? I am fine. Really I am.” Then she walked away from him. Jay caught up to her again though and grabbed her shoulders and turned her so she was facing him. They were inches apart. “Emma you are not fine. I may not act like I care but I do okay? And I can tell you aren’t fine. I’m guessing part of it is because of yesterday, right?” He asked waiting for an answer. Emma didn’t answer him though. “Okay well you don’t have to answer me right now but we are staying here until you do,” Jay said. “NO we aren’t Jay. I shouldn’t even be around you.” Emma snapped. “Why not? Is it because of that stupid ravine slut thing Chris said? If it is then screw him. The Emma Nelson I knew wouldn’t let anyone boss her around and she sure as hell wouldn’t take crap from anyone. What happened to her?” Jay asked with a concerned look on his face. “She went down on you Jay,” Emma said with coldness to her voice. Then she walked away. Jay didn’t bother to catch up to her this time. She needed time to herself to think. Jay walked into the lunch room to go talk to Sean.

“Cameron have you talked to Emma lately?” Jay said. “No. Why?” Sean said. “She seems kind of depressed. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.” “Well I don’t care about environmental freak. Besides, if I were her I wouldn’t exactly tell you what’s wrong either. Look what you did, well gave to her.” Sean said with coldness in his voice. “Whatever man. Just saying okay? No need to get all peevish on me.” With that said Jay walked away. Sean looked at Ellie and she didn’t look to happy.

“What?” Sean asked confused. “Sean tell me the honest truth here.” Ellie paused. “Truth about what Ellie?” He said still confused. “Sean do you still have feelings for Emma?” Ellie asked in a sad voice. “Ha. What are you talking about? Didn’t you just hear me tell Jay I don’t care about her?” “Well yeah I did but Sean you told her something you can’t even tell me and you got into a fight yesterday because of something Chris said about her. Today you say you don’t care about her. Something is going on and I want to know what it is.” “Nothing is going on Ellie. I don’t care about Emma. I never have so drop it,” He said in a rude tone. “Fine I will if you answer me.” Ellie snapped. “I did answer you Ellie.” “No look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t still have feelings for Emma. Tell me you don’t love her,” Ellie said demandingly. Sean looked her in the eyes. “Ellie I don’t still have feelings for Emma and I sure as hell don’t love her. I love you Ellie,” Ellie smiled and then the bell rang. It was time for English. On his way to English he saw Emma coming from the bathroom with her eyes looking red and puffy. He started having second thoughts about what he just said to Ellie. Maybe he lied? Maybe he had feelings for both of them? Or maybe he just hated seeing Emma hurt because he knew he caused it.

Finally it was the end of the day. Emma was so happy because she could go home and not have to worry about people talking about her. She didn’t have to worry about Chris saying mean things to her. And most of all she didn’t have to see Sean and Ellie together. About an hour after she got home the phone rang. It was Manny.

“Hey Em. It’s Manny.” “Hey. What’s up?” Emma said. “Oh nothing. The usual. Boring homework. How about you?” She asked. “Nothing really. Just thinking,” Emma said. “Oh. Thinking about what, Em?” “No one.” “No one huh? Well I asked what it was about. I never said it was a someone. But now that we are talking about a someone I just want to say that I think he still has feelings for you,” Manny said. “Manny no he doesn’t. He just stood up for me. That’s all,” Emma said. “Whatever Em. I think he still likes you. And by the way you acted today at lunch after seeing them really close I would say you still like him too,” Manny said. “Well I don’t okay. But if I did and this is an if it wouldn’t matter. He has Ellie. He’s happy with her,” Emma said sounding kind of sad. “Well yeah he seems happy with her but I heard her and Ash talking in the bathroom this morning and she was saying how they had a huge fight the other night about you. You do the math Em. But I need to go. Mom is nagging me to get off of the phone. Call me later okay? And don’t forget. Just tell him. Bye.” Before Emma could say anything Manny hung up.

Back at Sean and Ellie’s apartment they were fighting again. It wasn’t about Emma this time though. It was about their relationship. Ellie loved Sean and she always told him that but the only time he has ever said to her was the day he stayed in Wasaga Beach for a while and then today at lunch when she told him too.

“Ellie what is your problem?” Sean yelled. “My problem is you Sean. You never tell me you love me. It’s always me who says it not you,.” Ellie yelled back. “What are you talking about? I told you I loved you today at lunch.” “Yeah because I told you too,” Ellie yelled. “So? It shouldn’t matter if you say it first or me. It shouldn’t so just drop it okay?” Sean yelled. “No not okay. You always want to drop what we are fighting about when you aren’t telling me the truth. Sean I always tell you I love you. And the only time you have ever told me was that day in Wasaga and then today at lunch. You never once have said it to me first. And it matters to me,” Ellie screamed at him. “I don’t care if it matters to you Ellie. I don’t care who the hell says it first. Either way we both love each other.” “Correction Sean. I love you but I think you are confused on who you love.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He yelled confused. “You heard me. You are confused on who the hell you love. It’s either me or Emma. I saw the way you looked when Jay said that Emma didn’t seem like herself. You got a worried look on your face and then when I asked if you had feelings for her you argued with me. I think you are fucking hiding something Sean. And I don’t like being lied to. You either love me or that fucking whore,” Ellie yelled. “Ellie shut up. We had a fight yesterday. So yeah right now I don’t care about her but if someone I do or did care about gets treated like shit or is upset about something then of course I am going to look worried. It’s just how I am. If you have a problem with that then too damn bad,” Sean yelled. “But don’t ever call her a whore. You wouldn’t like it if people started calling you a blood sucking vampire who cuts now would you?” Sean yelled. Ellie didn’t know what to say so she slapped him then ran out the door. She had no idea where she was going until she showed up at Emma’s doorstep. She knocked on the door and Emma opened it. Ellie quickly grabbed her and brought her outside.

“Ellie hi. I wasn’t expecting you,” Emma said trying not to sound rude. “Well I just came over to warn you,” Emma looked confused. “Okay. But warn me about what Ellie?” “Sean.” Emma looked sad. “Oh. What about him? Is he going crazy and destroying everything in his way?” Emma said laughing. Ellie on the other hand didn’t laugh. “Oh. Sorry. I meant for that to be funny but I guess it wasn’t. But warn me about Sean why?” Emma asked. Ellie just stood there for a minute before saying anything. “He loves me. He told me he was going to come over your house and tell you that he thinks you are a worthless piece of trash that doesn’t deserve to live. He also said that he never loved you. He only went out with you so he could get good grades and not have to move back to Wasaga. Uh and that he is glad you wouldn’t kiss him in public because if you did then he would be embarrassed for life,” Ellie said with a smirk on her face. Emma on the other hand was trying to not let the tears fall from her eyes but they just starting streaming down her face. Ellie saw this and just started to laugh. “Haha. Tough luck princess. Or should I call you a ravine slut now? I mean everyone else does. Even Sean,” Ellie said smiling. Then she started to walk away but Emma grabbed her arm and punched her in the nose. Ellie quickly held her hand up to her nose to see if she was bleeding and then punched Emma in the stomach. This was one fight you didn’t want to be a part of. Emma scratched Ellie’s face and Ellie did the same back. Then they started pulling each other’s hair for about five minutes until Emma decided to punch her in the nose again. Ellie punched her back but this time she hit her in the face somewhere.

Sean decided to go find Ellie. He figured she would be at Ashley’s so he walked over there. On his way over to Ashley’s house he had to pass Emma’s house. When Sean walked by Emma’s house he saw Ellie and Emma fighting. From what it looked like they had been fighting for a long time. They both had cuts and scratches all over their face and blood was coming from both of their noses. Sean went up to Emma and pulled her off of Ellie. Ellie brushed herself off and then stood there.

“Let go of me Sean,” Emma screamed. “Emma stop you were hurting her,” Sean said trying to be as calm as possible. “She was hurting me too. But you Sean you hurt me the fucking most. I hope you are happy. And I hope you and vampire over her are fucking happy together,” Emma said spitting in his face. Sean whiped it off. “What the hell is going on here?” Sean asked confused. “You should know Sean.” Emma snapped. “Well I don’t so tell me,” He said snapping back. Ellie was just standing there listening to them argue. “Hmm lets start with you thinking I am a ravine slut after beating up the guy who started it about me. Oh and then Ellie said you were going to come over today and tell me that you love her and that you never loved me. You only used me to get good grades to keep you from having to go back to Wasaga,” Emma said and then paused. “Oh yeah and I almost forgot. And this is what disgusts me the most Sean. You are happy I wouldn’t make out with you in public because if I did then you would have been embarrassed for life,” Emma said trying to sound like she didn’t care. But of course that didn’t work. Her voice cracked and tears starting streaming down her face again. Ellie just stood there laughing. “Aw poor Emma. Sean I think you really hurt her feelings,” Ellie said. “Ellie shut up.” Emma snapped. “Oh trying to act like he didn’t hurt you now are we? Well stop trying to act like it because it isn’t working. But tough luck he loves me not you.” Emma’s eyes were still filled with tears and they were coming down her cheeks faster. She didn’t realize what she said until it was too late. “He may love you Ellie but you sure as hell don’t love him as much as I do. No one ever will.” Then she placed her hands over her mouth and started crying even harder. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t believe she just said that, and to Sean and Ellie. Emma couldn’t even admit it to Manny. But she at least took her advice.

Ellie and Sean just stood there in silence looking shocked. Ellie finally broke the silence by laughing. She walked up to Sean and kissed him hard on the lips but Sean quickly pulled away.

“What’s your problem?” Ellie asked pissed off. “You are my problem Ellie. Why the hell would you do this?” Sean asked angry. “Why? Well let’s see here. You are always telling me to drop it whenever she comes into our conversation which obviously means you still have feelings for her and not me. It would kill me to see you with her. But I didn’t even know where I was going when I left the apartment until I arrived here. And I didn’t plan on saying anything like that I just wanted to tell her to stay away from you but all of that came out instead. But Sean I love you and you said you loved me too. You can’t take that back,” Ellie said. “I can’t believe you would do this. Emma is the only person in this damn world that really cares about me. She always wanted me to be good and she always tried to make me feel like I was worth something. With you we just sit at home watching stupid TV and falling asleep together. You are more like my sister than my girlfriend Ellie,” He said in a cold tone. “Well it doesn’t matter what she made you feel when you were going out with her. You aren’t going out with her anymore. And I’d say she thinks you really were going to come to her house and say all of those things to her. So I doubt she still cares about you despite what she just said. And you said you loved me too. I already told you that you can’t take that kind of thing back.” “Well guess what I can. After I said that to you at lunch today I started having second thoughts about it. So obviously having second thoughts means that I didn’t mean it. And Ellie whenever I am with you I think about Emma. Even when I’m not with you I think about her. And truth is she was who I thought about in Wasaga not you. I just got back together with you because I was afraid you would cut again. And I do care about you Ellie just not in that way. But right now I hate you. I would expect something like this from Paige but not you. You disgust me right now. And Emma will care about me. I will prove to her that you are the one who made all of that stupid shit up. She has to believe me. Ellie I’m sorry but I love Emma not you. And for the first time in my life I, Sean Cameron will be heart broken if she doesn’t believe me,” Sean said and then took a deep breath. That was a lot to say to Ellie. Ellie just went up to him and slapped him hard across the face and then told him he was making a huge mistake. After that she walked away somewhere. Sean stood there and then finally decided to go find Emma.

Chapter Ten

Sean looked for over an hour to find Emma but no such luck. He couldn’t find her anywhere. Sean searched the ravine, the mall where they had their very first date, the tree where they had their first kiss, he ever searched near the school but she wasn’t in any of those places. Where could she have gone? Sean stopped to rest for a few minutes. His thoughts trailed off to Emma and that wherever she was right now she was probably crying. Just the thought of her crying made him form a fist. He wanted to punch something. He knew that she was crying partly because of him and it killed him when he did that to her.

Then it hit him. Sean knew exactly where Emma was. Well he knew who she was with. Emma was with him when she and Sean broke up the first time. He was there to comfort her when she needed him the most. Sean ran all the way to Toby’s house hoping to find Emma there. He knocked on the door and Toby opened it. Toby knew why Sean was there and without saying anything he stepped aside to let Sean in. Toby walked into the living room and Sean followed. When he got there he saw Emma sitting there just gazing off into space. Well she was until she saw Sean. When she saw Sean her eyes looked like they were going to start forming more tears again and at this point she didn’t care. She wanted to let Sean see how much he hurt her this time. Make him suffer for everything he did to her and all the pain he caused.

Toby went over to Emma and whispered something in her ear and then left the room. Sean couldn’t hear what Toby said to Emma but he figured it had to do with him. After Toby left the room Emma got up and walked over to Sean. She just stared deep into his eyes and then took his hand. She led him outside and then let go of his hand. She looked him deep in the eyes one last time so he could see all the hurt she was feeling. Then she started walking. Sean had no idea where she was going but decided to follow her. He needed to talk to her and he figured she wanted him to follow her anyway. When she stopped walking Sean realized they were at the ravine. No one was there except for them because it wasn’t dark yet. No one goes until late at night anyway. Emma walked over to a picnic table and sat down. Sean slowly walked behind her and sat down next to her.

It took a good half an hour of silence for them both to gather their thoughts and prepare themselves for what the other was going to say before either of them decided to say anything. Emma was the first one to speak. She figured she should just get it over with. But she didn’t bother to even look at Sean when she was talking. It was easier for her this way.

“Sean you really hurt me. But what I don’t get is why. I mean I know I said some pretty harsh things to you the other day online but I didn’t think that that would cause something like this. What really bothers me is that you came to me with your secret about having Leukemia and then you have Ellie come tell me that basically I was a huge mistake in your life that should never have happened,” Emma said almost crying. Sean hated seeing her like this. Although he didn’t know how to respond to that without getting into an argument he tried the best he could. “Emma before you try to disagree with me about this just hear me out first please,” Sean said. Emma just nodded to let him know he could go on. “Look Emma I admit that I was a jerk to you over the years. That’s the truth which is why I am admitting it. But what you need to understand is that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know it might be hard to believe but at least try too. We were never friends before we dated but you obviously trusted me enough to go out with me which is why I don’t get why you believe Ellie. Maybe it’s just because of the little fight we had the other day or because you just believe her over me. I really honestly don’t know. Only you know the answer to that. But just know that I would never say anything like that and if I were to say something like that I wouldn’t have Ellie or anyone else do it for me. That’s not the type of person I am. I’m a straight forward kind of guy.” There was more he needed to say but he wanted to wait until after Emma got another chance to speak. For a few minutes it was silent. Emma was trying to gather her thoughts and think over what she was going to say. “Sean I don’t know who to believe. But what Ellie said really hurt me. It hurt me a lot. It still does hurt. Sean you always find a way to hurt me even without trying. It’s like well I don’t know how to explain it. The only thing I can say about you hurting me is that whenever you do I go home every night and cry myself to sleep. I think of all the great times we had together and then the moments leading up to you breaking my heart. I blame myself for it though not you. I always think that there was something I did to make you mad and not want me anymore. Usually a while later we are back together again but it didn’t happen this time. When you ditched me for Jay and his hoodlum friends it was over for good. I saw you with Amy and it killed me inside. Sometimes I just felt like crying whenever I saw you two together. What hurt me the most was how quickly you moved on. You acted like I was never a part of your life,” Emma said with sadness in her voice. She tried to fight the tears but they just came streaming down her face. Sean was quiet. He didn’t know what to say. “Then I met Chris. I thought everything was going fine but when he brought up me still having feelings for you I knew I had to do something to make him see that I didn’t. I couldn’t lose someone else I cared about. I told him all we needed to do was get you in trouble and then I was finished with you. Stupid me getting you in trouble only made things worse. You ended up meeting Ellie in detention and then went out with her. You still are to this day. And it kills me to see you two together. It kills me more than when I saw you and Amy together.” By this time Emma had tears streaming down her face. Sean noticed and whiped them away with his fingers. And for a moment Emma and Sean locked eyes. Emma of course couldn’t handle it and looked the other way. “I know how you felt Emma. I felt the same way. But Jay and Alex were pressuring me to go out with Amy because they wanted me to prove that I was over you even if I wasn’t. They were my new group of friends and I didn’t want to be a loner because I knew you and your friends wouldn’t take me back so that’s why I went out with Amy. And Ellie, well I know this is mean of me to say but I don’t think I ever loved her. Even when I told her that I did back in Wasaga I don’t think I really meant it. Emma I didn’t get over you as fast as it may have seemed. Actually, I’m still not over you. I know it may come as a shock that I’m not but it’s the truth. And I went back out with Ellie when I came back this year because I thought she was going to cut again. And I didn’t think you would want anything to do with me. But Emma please say that you believe me. I just need to know that you believe me. You don’t have to talk to me anymore or even help me out with my Leukemia but just say that you believe me. That’s all I need to know,” Sean said in a sad voice. He really was hoping Emma would believe him. “Sean we both have said a lot and I’m not sure if I believe you or not right now. Just give me some time to think things over.” Emma said still crying. Sean just nodded and got up to walk away.

He was a few feet away when Emma saw his figure drop to the ground. Emma panicked. She didn’t have a cell phone and she didn’t want to run to someone’s house to call 911 and leave Sean here alone. She was pacing back and forth really fast when she saw Jay’s car turn the corner and put itself in park. Emma ran up to his car yelling and screaming. Jay told her to calm down because he had no idea what she is saying. Finally she was calm enough to speak and she told Jay to call 911 because Sean just collapsed. Jay quickly called 911 and within minutes they were riding in the ambulance to the hospital.

At the hospital Emma and Jay were kept waiting in the waiting room for over an hour. Emma was panicking and was getting scared watching her. He had never seen Emma like this and it was scaring him. Finally a doctor came over to them with an update on how he was doing and what was wrong.

“I assume that you two are here for Sean Cameron,” the doctor said. Emma and Jay just nodded. “Well I have some good and some bad news.” “What is it? Sean is going to be okay right?” Emma said almost crying. Jay put his arm around Emma in almost a hugging kind of way. “Sean is fine right now but he has to stay in the hospital for about a week. We need to monitor him and make sure everything is fine. He is early in his cancer stages and something like this shouldn’t have happened. We need to find out why. If you wouldn’t mind please call his parents. I will leave you two alone. If you need anything just ask one of the nurses,” the doctor said and then walked away. Well so much for keeping it a secret. No one was supposed to know except for the doctors, his parents, and the select few people he told. Jay walked over to the phone and called Sean’s parents. They were coming down now.

“Jay,” Emma said. “Emma did you know about this? I mean the cancer thing,” Jay asked. “Um well yes Jay. But now he could die,” Emma said as tears streamed down her face. Jay just hugged her tightly. “Shh Emma. I can’t promise everything will be okay but Sean is a strong guy and he will fight this,” Jay said trying to comfort Emma. Emma pulled out of the hug and stood up. “He may be strong but look at my step dad. He was strong too and he almost died Jay. He almost died. Sean could die,” Emma said crying hysterically. Jay got up to hug her again but she just pushed him away and fell to the ground. Jay just stood there not knowing what to do. After a few minutes he called Emma’s parents to let them know that they were at the hospital because of something that happened to Sean. Jay told them that she could come back to his house if they left the hospital because it was pretty late. Emma’s parents surprisingly agreed.

“Emma we should go. Sean isn’t going to change over night.” “But what if he does? And my parents don’t know where I am. They will probably think I am lying when I tell them I was at the hospital because of something that happened to Sean,” Emma said in a sad voice. “Emma I just called them. I told them we were here and that I was taking you back to my place,” Emma looked up at him and her eyes were wide. “I didn’t mean it like that Emma. It’s just really late and the hospital is closer to my house. So what do you say? Are you ready to go?” Jay asked in a concerned voice. “I guess so,” Emma said. Then she got up and followed Jay to his car. The whole ride to his house was silent. Emma didn’t know what to say and Jay didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by talking about Sean or anything else. He thought it would be best to not say anything at all.

When they got to Jay’s house Emma just stood there. She didn’t know if she should sit down or not. Jay noticed this and walked over to her and took her hand. He led her to his bedroom. He let go of her hand and went through his drawers. He got a long shirt and a pair of boxer shorts.

“Herem” Jay said handing Emma the clothes. “It’s not much but it’s better than sleeping in your clothes. We can go to your house in the morning if you want.” Emma took the clothes from him. “Thanks. But where am I going to sleep?” Emma asked. “You can have the bed. I will sleep in that chair over there.” Jay said pointing to a small chair that she probably wouldn’t even fit in. “No. You can sleep in the bed,” Emma said. “Then where would you sleep Emma?” “The bed?” Emma said nervously. “Emma we’d both be sleeping in the bed. I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Jay said. “I know but I’m scared. And I need someone to talk to. You aren’t who I really want to talk to but you are here and I don’t know…” Emma said trailing off. She started to cry again. Jay went over to hug her. “Shh Em it’s okay. We can talk if you really want too. I’m here okay. I will be here for you through this whole thing. I promise.” Then he kissed her forehead. Emma pulled out of the hug and went to the bathroom to change into the clothes Jay gave her. When she came out Jay was already in his bed half asleep. Emma got into the bed and snuggled close up to Jay. Jay noticed this and gently started to rub her back. Maybe it would make her fall asleep faster or something. He didn’t really know. But he wasn’t in the mood to talk. He was really tired and had to let everything that just happened sink in before he could talk about it.