Three Nights Earlier

"Hey Manny, want a beer?" Spinner called out. I shook my head fervently. I couldn't drink; I wasn't that kind of girl. Besides, this was the first real party I'd ever been to. I didn't want to make a complete fool of myself this early in the game.

Spinner approached me, placing his arm around my waist. I looked up at him and smiled, wondering what he thought of me. I stood up tall and kissed him. Hard. He began pulling me into a room.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked, caressing my face. I nodded, so he would know that I was. He unbuttoned my shirt, guiding his hands around my curves. From the speed he was going, I could tell this was his first time too, and that he was impatient. I released the clasp on my bra. I shuddered. I was cold, and I was starting to feel . . .  used. He reached for the zipper on my pants, and pulled it down, smiling at me. I smiled back, completely unaware of what was happening anymore. Suddenly, the door sprang open. I covered my naked body with the blanket that was on the bed and squinted to see that it was Jay.

"Hey man, I was...whoa, sorry dude. I didn't know you were. Yeah, I'll leave now," Jay said, closing the door behind him.

I sighed, exasperatedly. "I don't think this is the right time to do this," I said, trying to catch my breath.

Spinner nodded. "I'm half drunk, at some college dorm party. You're right, not the right time."

He was drunk, I could smell beer, Bud Light, on his breath. I picked my bra up off the floor and put it on. Spinner left the room, leaving me to gather my thoughts. Then, the door opened again.

"Forget something?" I said laughing. But it wasn't Spinner, it was Jay.

"No. Just thought I'd come see where Spin was, but I guess I ruined the mood earlier. Sorry."

I held the cover around my upper body tighter. "Oh, uh, it's okay. It didn't feel right anyway." Why was I telling Jay this? I didn't even know him, not really.

Jay sat down on the corner of the bed. He was drunk too, I could sense it. "Maybe not for you and Spin, but what about . . . me, and you?" He said, slurring his words.

I winced. The last thing I wanted to do was have sex with someone like Jay. He'd been known around school for being somewhat of a manwhore. "Um, sorry, I don't think so."

Jay crawled closer to me, pulling the cover down as he went. I struggled to keep it up, but I was no match for Jay's strength. He managed to pull it down, exposing me. I did have on a bra, but it still felt . . . gross.

"C'mon Manny. I've heard things about you."

"You can't always believe what you hear." I retorted. He reached his hand up and touched my chest, causing my heart to beat fast. "Jay, leave me alone."

He pushed me down onto the bed, throwing himself on top of me. "Why? I can give you more than Spinner ever could." He hissed. He pressed his lips to mine, pushing hard on my body. I managed to move my head away so I could breathe. "Jay, please stop!" I yelled. He didn't listen. He reached down and unbuttoned my pants, using force to get them off. I began to sob. This wasn't supposed to be happening. "STOP!" I screamed, I cried, I bellowed. It was no use, Jay wasn't stopping.

*

I lay down on the bed, shivering in the heat. I'd been there, lying there, for what seemed like forever. But no one was coming. Jay had left me, to fend for myself. He had told me what happened was 'our little secret', and that he hadn't meant to hurt me; he just 'wanted to have fun'. I rolled over on the bed, feeling the coldness of my blood, and my tears. I stood up, searching for a phone. I found one, on a desk, and frantically began dialing Emma's number. If anyone could save me right now, it was her.

---

"Manny, sweetie, you can tell me what happened," Spike said, attempting to ruffle my hair. But I moved before she could. I didn't want to be touched, I felt dirty, disgusting. A victim of my own behavior.

"I-I don't want to," I managed to say. Spike nodded, understanding. I felt Emma staring at me, wondering what was going on. But I couldn't tell her, she'd blame me. But it was my fault wasn't it? I shouldn't have been there in the first place. I began bawling. Loudly. Then the whole story came out.

Silent tears fell down Spike's face as I talked. Emma didn't say anything; she didn't even look at me. I knew she'd blame me. And she liked Jay! She probably thought I had sex with him, and was making this up so she wouldn't be mad.

"Manny, you have to go to the doctor. Did he use a condom?" Spike asked gently.

"N-no, I, I don't think he did." I stopped. "I'm not sure, I'm just not sure."

I sat on the couch, staring at Emma's hard face. She showed no sign of concern, just anger. Towards me for letting myself go to Jay? Or, to Jay, for hurting me? I didn't know. I didn't think I'd ever know.